Your mates' birds

[Section_31]

Do you get on with your mates' other halves? I do on the whole, but there's one that really pisses me off.

 

Basically he's been seeing her almost as long as I've known him, about six years, and she's always gegged in on everything.

 

If we have a lads night out she's the only bird who'll insist on coming, and she'll sit there kissing him while we're all sat there looking stupid.

 

She's completely selfish as well, basically if we ever go to town I end up giving them both lifts and it pisses me off, because she's got a car and never brings it, so i end up adding another 30 minutes to my journy to take the fuckers home.

 

I went through a phase where i tried to put a stop to it, and i'd dart off early if we were ever out.

 

Turned up once when my mate was doin a comedy gig and clocked that she was there with her mate and her boyfriend, and basically thought 'fuck that, they're not all getting in my car!' so i darted off as soon as he'd finished his act.

 

I found out the next day that her mate had given her a lift home, but there was no room in the car for my mate, so they left him there! At 11.30 on a Sunday with all his gear!!! Turned out another of my mates who lives on the Wiral, had to drive him home (to Hunts Cross!) instead!

 

She really is an absolute twat!

[Remmie]

I get on with them but it can be a drag trying to get your mates out on their own. Plus chances of arguments go up 400% when birds are aboot too.

 

You really need to put your foot down about lads night out, I'd be tempted to not invite the bloke if he's just going to be snogging her tits off all night.

[Special K]

I can't stand my mate's bird to the extent where he told me I would have been his best man if it wasn't for the fact I'd told him this on many, many occassions.

 

As it turned out, the lad he asked to do the job hated her just as much but didn't tell him!

 

I tend to steer clear of my mate's birds. I haven't introduced mine to many of my mates coz she's not part of their lives. (No offence SD! ;) )

[Section_31]

I get on with them but it can be a drag trying to get your mates out on their own. Plus chances of arguments go up 400% when birds are aboot too.

 

You really need to put your foot down about lads night out, I'd be tempted to not invite the bloke if he's just going to be snogging her tits off all night.

 

It can be done at a push, we can stress to him 'lad's only' and it will work more often than not, but she's extremely manipulative and likes to be the only girl in a gang of men, and she likes to hear other women being slagged off as well, she's a real piece of work.

 

Last christmas I was invited to a birthday bash, turned out he was going out with some mates from a comedy group we went to on the same night, I later found out the group (all men) had met up and she had somehow fucking gegged in on that as well!

 

About 11.30 my phone starts going but I don't answer it because i know what's going on, my mate answers his though and it turnes out the odd couple are on their way up 'to see us' In other words they wanted a fucking lift! Apparently when they turned up and found out i'd scarpered they were not best pleased.

 

This is some seriously cathartic shit by the way, it builds up, hating your mates Mrs is some hard shit!

[The-Sir]

Arrrr tell me about it, my best mates bird always comes out to town with us, and every time shes out she wrecks the night because when shes had a bit of booze she gets jealous of any other girl (even his girl mates) dancing with him, and gets a big nark on so he has to stop having fun and make up with her which takes about an hour. Every time we go out. Girlfriends + nights out just dont mix.

[Stu Monty]

Most of my mates missus' are sound, they're a good laugh, bright and add to the night. There is one though that I really couldn't be arsed with. I actually told this mate, well me and another one of the lads did after a few beers one night, that he could do so much better than her. He told me it fucked his head up for a bit but she's still with him. She's making much more of an effort with his mates now though so he must have said something.

 

S31, have you told your mate about it, especially the lift thing?

[RedKnight]

One of my ex-girlfriends friends once asked me if I liked her. I replied that I didn't and walked off. I'm still really proud of that moment.

[Section_31]

Most of my mates missus' are sound, they're a good laugh, bright and add to the night. There is one though that I really couldn't be arsed with. I actually told this mate, well me and another one of the lads did after a few beers one night, that he could do so much better than her. He told me it fucked his head up for a bit but she's still with him. She's making much more of an effort with his mates now though so he must have said something.

 

S31, have you told your mate about it, especially the lift thing?

 

His mother has recently died so I can't really come on too strong about it to be honest.

 

But yeah when they split up for a few weeks about a year ago, I basically told him he was better off without her and that I'd never liked her.

 

They ended up getting back together and for a while when he tried to invite her out with me i'd say I didn't want her around because I'd feel two-faced being civil to her, but he tends to 'spring' her on me now with no warning, and I've got no choice but to grin and bare it.

 

Friday was the latest 'lift' incident, ended up sat in the pictures like a tit with just him and her, then i got asked for a lift afterwards, I asked her why she hadn't driven and she said 'because i was tired' the slag.

 

I was fuming all the way home and barely spoke, which resulted in them pulling some kind of double act to try and cheer me up with conversation.

 

Just to ram home what an absolute twat she is, on his birthday they had a meal at home with his terminally ill mum, dad, and brother.

 

The next day me and a mate went for some birthday drinks down the dock with these two, and at one point I overhead her giving him a hard time because during the meal his terminally ill mother had 'hardly spoken to her'

For which he apologised to her!

 

Its the way she treats him that makes me angry most of all, I can live with her overall twatness, but i genuinely think she wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire...

[Newport]

I had a mate once and he had this bird who always had to be with him. Annoying boring fucking bird with the worst sense of humor I have ever seen. Got so fed up with the whole thing that I told him to find someone else and I haven't spoken to him for the four years since that.

 

The cunt also tried to hook me up with one of her ugly friends something that just made things a lot worse.

[Stu Monty]

His mother has recently died so I can't really come on too strong about it to be honest.

 

But yeah when they split up for a few weeks about a year ago, I basically told him he was better off without her and that I'd never liked her.

 

They ended up getting back together and for a while when he tried to invite her out with me i'd say I didn't want her around because I'd feel two-faced being civil to her, but he tends to 'spring' her on me now with no warning, and I've got no choice but to grin and bare it.

 

Friday was the latest 'lift' incident, ended up sat in the pictures like a tit with just him and her, then i got asked for a lift afterwards, I asked her why she hadn't driven and she said 'because i was tired' the slag.

 

I was fuming all the way home and barely spoke, which resulted in them pulling some kind of double act to try and cheer me up with conversation.

 

Just to ram home what an absolute twat she is, on his birthday they had a meal at home with his terminally ill mum, dad, and brother.

 

The next day me and a mate went for some birthday drinks down the dock with these two, and at one point I overhead her giving him a hard time because during the meal his terminally ill mother had 'hardly spoken to her'

For which he apologised to her!

 

Its the way she treats him that makes me angry most of all, I can live with her overall twatness, but i genuinely think she wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire...

 

Sounds like bad news. It's not about whether I dislike someone but whether I think they are good news for my mates. I knew it might cause issues between me and the lad I told but I had to tell him anyway, she was turning him into something the other lads weren't liking and something I don't think he was happy with.

 

One of the lads at football has the motto "bro's before 'ho's" and although I wouldn't go that far looking out for your mates is important. I'd like to think if my mates were seeing something they though I couldn't they'd tell me.

[Stu Monty]

I need and adjudication by Paul on that Bro and Ho thing. It is a punctuation minefield.

[The-Sir]

This thread reminds me of this:

 

 

Nigel: I'm doing my part...make this a lot simpler, I mean I hate to

cut right through it here, why don't you play this alone, without some

fucking angel hanging over your head, you know what I mean?

Derek: Jesus Christ, this is fucking all we need!

Nigel: You can't fucking concentrate, because of your fucking wife, simple

as that, alright, it's your fucking wife!

David: She's not my wife!

Nigel: Whatever fuck she is, alright, you can't concentrate, we can't

fucking do the track.

David: This is unbelievable! This is unbelievable!

Nigel: No, it's not unbelievable at all...it all leads up to this...it all

leads up to this

David: This is unbelievable. Will you check me on this, am I losing my

fucking mind? Could you check me on this, am I losing my mind?

I-I-I-I don't understand what this has to do with anything.

[Malarkey]

I had a mate once and he had this bird who always had to be with him. Annoying boring fucking bird with the worst sense of humor I have ever seen. Got so fed up with the whole thing that I told him to find someone else and I haven't spoken to him for the four years since that.

 

The cunt also tried to hook me up with one of her ugly friends something that just made things a lot worse.

 

:laugh:

[Newport]

I have other (better) mates too... :whatever:

[Malarkey]

I have other (better) mates too... :whatever:

 

Sorry, i couldn't resist. The wordiness sounded so funny! As AdamS would say, 'It was very Wordy'. Rather than 'Wingy'.

[Joe Strummer]

I get on with them ok but it can be a pain in the arse when they insist coming out with my mates. I don't think I could live with them nor do I find any of them attractive although I have fantasised about them on several occasions.

[RJ Fan club]

My crowd have a bit of a mix really. I'm lucky one or two of them have got GF's from uni and we've known them for years and were friends for years before they started going out.

 

The others sometimes get a bit put out, like Mrs RJ and few of the other wives and GF's cos we are a close bunch. Also if we go on a uni reunion nights and weekends etc., sometimes the girls from uni come and that sets the non-uni GF's off who aren't invited

 

I can only think of one GF who was disliked by our group. That was mostly cos she was a miserable tight cow and didn't try to get along. She wanted him to cancel trips, weekends and nights out. We nearly lost touch with him in the 6 - 8 months they were going out. In the end he fucked her off and I'm glad to say has found a GF who enjoys all our company and is a good laugh.

[Charles Penrose]

In 1997 one of my mates girlfriends came onto me in a big way. Then when I turned her down she told everyone it was me. Three years later I did her and fucked her off simply for revenge.

 

In 1998 I awoke to find one of my (other) mates girlfriends playing footsie with my cock as I slept. I decided it was best to pretend I was asleep, turned over and pretended it had never happened. Her boyfriend was about a metre away from me. We were all staying at her house, sleeping bags etc all over the floor.

 

In 2003 my one of (another one) mates girlfriend began grabbing my cock in a local weatherspoons, as my mate was turned away. I ignored it, three minutes later she vomited over the window. I like to think it was in someway connected to my failure to response. It was more likely that she was battered on vodka.

 

The moral of the story? I'm a handsome man and clearly irresistible to the ladies.

[NIred1]

On the whole most of my mate's other halves are sound cause if they're not they wont bother with us. Its funny though when one of us gets a new girl, all the rest take it as a cue to talk about the dodgiest things imaginable, you know to put her through the mill. On this experience we have had good results and bad results, the good being the moody bitch up sticks and walks off and the bad the moany bitch returning with some of the smuttiest shite I have ever heard.

 

I tend to notice that my mate's act differently when around their birds, like last week we were out only one of us bothered to bring the gf, and this guy proceeds to act like a right fucking prude, while me and my other mates are having a laugh. But when she leaves early he's fine.

 

Some of my mates have it well good, honestly I have known this guy about two years he has been going with this girl the same amount of time, I've been out with him loads and never once have I met her. I always ask him too "did you not bring laura" to which he bursts into ruptures. :laugh:

[Captain]

Mr Royle, you need to fuck that avatar off.

[chrisbonnie]

you gotta listen to your mates when they tell you what they think of your missus, i dumped one chick i just had a few nights out with after my mate said she i could do better, he was right, she was a right fucking towny!!!

 

as for my mates birds, the mate in questions chick is dead on, a little quiet at times, but when she`s with my bird its grand, but the only thing is, when im out with said friend, he constantly rings her and texts her, which absolutely fucking freaks me out, what a complete load of toss, i wouldnt mind if he rang her for a reason, but for fuck all, and about 5 phone calls a night, shite like, "ah, so what you doing now" well she`s at home, so unless she`s fucking your neighbour, im guessing watching the fucking tv you knob, and then the put on fanny voice he has when she rings him ,oh, sickening

 

another mate of mine though went out with some mad culchie bird for about 4 months last year, she was, and still is, an absolute nut job, she`s too much for me, gets pissed too much, and more importantly, gets pissed too easy, my missus and I went into to meet them last summer for a few bevvies, only when i arrived they basically ate the face off each other, i said fuck all though, seeing as my mate hadn`t gotten his hole in ages, they broke up not too long after, i still see the silly bint though, as she lives with my brothers bird,

 

the rest of the lads are single actually, maybe their closet gays

[Section_31]

Women get on my tits, they're always bleeding and they stink of fish.

[Mook]

In tribute to Oxlade-Chamberlain's recent form...

 

 

 

[Bjornebye]

Same as in the OP, I get on with most of my mates birds. Except 1. 

 

We actually do get on but I cant fucking stand her. I'm godfather to their two twin daughters as well. She met my mate in Portsmouth and within a year she had re-rooted him to salford (where she is from) , married him and got pregnant. Before the babies were born me and my ex went up to visit them for his birthday, it was the first time she had met my ex and she instantly took a disliking too her. My mates missus is late 30's, pretty for her age like and she was fit back in the day but my ex was stunning. Younger and prettier. You could feel the jealousy in the room straight away.

 

Anyway I bought my mate a bottle of jameson as it was his birthday and we opened it at about 8pm. She hit the fucking roof about it calling him a drunk etc. They went in the bedroom and she started shouting saying "get off me get off me" as if he was hitting her and he was stood by the door nowhere near her. We were meant to be up for a few days but we got off the next morning. She has done similar a few times since. Possessive and as it happens, possessed. 

[Rico1304]

To be fair Stig she called your ex pretty well.