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59 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

 

Any chance I could have it in a format I don't need a Computer Science degree to access? I've ran the link through Google's Quantum Computer and Quantum computer says... no-no, no-yes, yes-no, and yes-yes... simultaneously.

 

Oh, fuck you. You come up with a relevant superposition joke. 

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Callum Hudson-Odoi was forced to deny he’d cropped up in Jeffrey Epstein’s little black book last week, but he’s not the only footballer quashing a bogus rumour.

The Premier League’s most decorated benchwarmer, Pegguy Arphexad, picked up six winners medals during a storied three years as an unused substitute at Liverpool.

But after disappearing into obscurity, the Pegatron gained fame for another reason: his enormous schlong.

According to former Leicester teammate Muzzy Izzet, "When Pegguy went for a pee, he didn't shake it, he kicked it. The joke in the dressing room was that he used to feed it mice."

From there, rumours swirled that Pegguy had swapped the Anfield bench for a career in the porn industry. Until he was confronted by the Leicester Mercury:

Look, this is a bad rumour. It's been going round a long time. One English guy wrote on the internet years and years ago that I was doing this and now people say to me: 'Hey, are you making porn films?' 

I haven't made ANY porn films, okay. I don't do that. I work for a sports insurance company. That's what I do. Put it in your paper – I don't do porn films, just insurance, okay?

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2 hours ago, stringvest said:

Callum Hudson-Odoi was forced to deny he’d cropped up in Jeffrey Epstein’s little black book last week, but he’s not the only footballer quashing a bogus rumour.

The Premier League’s most decorated benchwarmer, Pegguy Arphexad, picked up six winners medals during a storied three years as an unused substitute at Liverpool.

But after disappearing into obscurity, the Pegatron gained fame for another reason: his enormous schlong.

According to former Leicester teammate Muzzy Izzet, "When Pegguy went for a pee, he didn't shake it, he kicked it. The joke in the dressing room was that he used to feed it mice."

From there, rumours swirled that Pegguy had swapped the Anfield bench for a career in the porn industry. Until he was confronted by the Leicester Mercury:

Look, this is a bad rumour. It's been going round a long time. One English guy wrote on the internet years and years ago that I was doing this and now people say to me: 'Hey, are you making porn films?' 

I haven't made ANY porn films, okay. I don't do that. I work for a sports insurance company. That's what I do. Put it in your paper – I don't do porn films, just insurance, okay?

Definitely bigger than the bread bin.

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3 hours ago, stringvest said:

Callum Hudson-Odoi was forced to deny he’d cropped up in Jeffrey Epstein’s little black book last week, but he’s not the only footballer quashing a bogus rumour.

The Premier League’s most decorated benchwarmer, Pegguy Arphexad, picked up six winners medals during a storied three years as an unused substitute at Liverpool.

But after disappearing into obscurity, the Pegatron gained fame for another reason: his enormous schlong.

According to former Leicester teammate Muzzy Izzet, "When Pegguy went for a pee, he didn't shake it, he kicked it. The joke in the dressing room was that he used to feed it mice."

From there, rumours swirled that Pegguy had swapped the Anfield bench for a career in the porn industry. Until he was confronted by the Leicester Mercury:

Look, this is a bad rumour. It's been going round a long time. One English guy wrote on the internet years and years ago that I was doing this and now people say to me: 'Hey, are you making porn films?' 

I haven't made ANY porn films, okay. I don't do that. I work for a sports insurance company. That's what I do. Put it in your paper – I don't do porn films, just insurance, okay?

Yeah, sounds like the kind of thing a secret pornstar would say.

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