Jump to content
  • Sign up for free and receive a month's subscription

    You are viewing this page as a guest. That means you are either a member who has not logged in, or you have not yet registered with us. Signing up for an account only takes a minute and it means you will no longer see this annoying box! It will also allow you to get involved with our friendly(ish!) community and take part in the discussions on our forums. And because we're feeling generous, if you sign up for a free account we will give you a month's free trial access to our subscriber only content with no obligation to commit. Register an account and then send a private message to @dave u and he'll hook you up with a subscription.

Recommended Posts

Knew a lad called Wayne King when we were in our teens. Him and his girlfriend offered his best mate a threesome as long as he didn’t tell anyone. He then predictably, to everyone bar Wayne, told everyone. Group of lads I knew a few of used to go round his parents house nightly, they were the ones who let their kids drink and smoke weed round there. Good mate of mine back then Andreas quickly started an affair with his mum, the parents marriage broke up, obviously explosively, and her and Andreas set up home together. He was literally 16. All very odd indeed. At one point Wayne even lodged with them for a spell.
 

That’s the life version of a left-foot, right-foot, header hat-trick, right there. That name, one good mate has fucked your girlfriend, another is fucking your Mum. Everyone knows about it. Obviously groups of teenage lads are renowned for their tact, diplomacy and lack of dog-eat-dog humour. On top of that, you lived in their place with him effectively being your common-law stepdad before he was legally allowed to buy alcohol. Saw him walking along the high street where I grew up not so long back and can’t deny I was slightly surprised he hadn’t topped himself in the 3 decades since. You can only say fair play to the lad, really. Must be made of titanium.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 18.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

33 minutes ago, Captain Milk said:

Knew a lad called Wayne King when we were in our teens. Him and his girlfriend offered his best mate a threesome as long as he didn’t tell anyone. He then predictably, to everyone bar Wayne, told everyone. Group of lads I knew a few of used to go round his parents house nightly, they were the ones who let their kids drink and smoke weed round there. Good mate of mine back then Andreas quickly started an affair with his mum, the parents marriage broke up, obviously explosively, and her and Andreas set up home together. He was literally 16. All very odd indeed. At one point Wayne even lodged with them for a spell.
 

That’s the life version of a left-foot, right-foot, header hat-trick, right there. That name, one good mate has fucked your girlfriend, another is fucking your Mum. Everyone knows about it. Obviously groups of teenage lads are renowned for their tact, diplomacy and lack of dog-eat-dog humour. On top of that, you lived in their place with him effectively being your common-law stepdad before he was legally allowed to buy alcohol. Saw him walking along the high street where I grew up not so long back and can’t deny I was slightly surprised he hadn’t topped himself in the 3 decades since. You can only say fair play to the lad, really. Must be made of titanium.

Wayne King into an empty pot noodle pot.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 minutes ago, stringvest said:

Wayne King into an empty pot noodle pot.

On an existential crisis as well as literal level. Poor fucker, honestly. One of the many reasons Jeremy Kyle held no interest is having spent much of my childhood living around its prototype guests. Barren.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

42 minutes ago, Captain Milk said:

On an existential crisis as well as literal level. Poor fucker, honestly. One of the many reasons Jeremy Kyle held no interest is having spent much of my childhood living around its prototype guests. Barren.

There are huge swathes of the country essentially representing trout farms for the likes of Kyle and his gilded fishing net.  He'll be back soon enough

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

 

I love the end bit "somebody wanna call a god-damn paramedic?" 

 

I think a (former) programmer at our place wrote that thing's software. He left 4 years ago, and we're still fixing problems he caused.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

EbZOhUbWkAEWOho?format=png&name=small

 

 

We don't have moles in Ireland. 

 

4 years ago I was visiting someone in grimsby. And for the first time in my life I saw MOLE HILLS. I was 34 and quite frankly acting like a giggling school child. My father was with me to and he was the same. There was signs for "mole hunters" to. Imagine that as a job, a fucking mole hunter. Lincolnshire sure is one odd place......... 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, chrisbonnie said:

We don't have moles in Ireland. 

 

4 years ago I was visiting someone in grimsby. And for the first time in my life I saw MOLE HILLS. I was 34 and quite frankly acting like a giggling school child. My father was with me to and he was the same. There was signs for "mole hunters" to. Imagine that as a job, a fucking mole hunter. Lincolnshire sure is one odd place......... 

no moles?? In Ireland? Seriously? It would appear you’re low on

o’s too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Audrey Witherspoon said:

no moles?? In Ireland? Seriously? It would appear you’re low on

o’s too.

No, we honestly don't. 

 

I was in a genuine state of awe and shock when I saw the mole Hills, the fields where bloody full of them to. Weird little creatures...... 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Remmie said:

The most offensive thing about this is the spelling of Mum

True facts. Its basically a rebooted version of Python’s argument sketch.

 

PS: how annoying is the way ‘Butt’ has sneaked into many younger British girls’ vocabularies, along with ‘Poop’.

 

Don’t even get me onto grown men using ‘Eeeek’, ‘Yikes’ and all that sort of cuntery. Fucking Shaggy from Scooby-Doo over here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Captain Milk said:

True facts. Its basically a rebooted version of Python’s argument sketch.

 

PS: how annoying is the way ‘Butt’ has sneaked into many younger British girls’ vocabularies, along with ‘Poop’.

 

Don’t even get me onto grown men using ‘Eeeek’, ‘Yikes’ and all that sort of cuntery. Fucking Shaggy from Scooby-Doo over here.

My wife uses the word poop regularly but that's because she is Ukrainian and it means bellybutton in her language 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, General Dryness said:

 

9567264.gif

Early on when we got together I blow raspberries in her belly. She didn't know the English for blowing raspberries so she legitimately would say "don't fart into my poop". 

 

 

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...