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I have the fortune to travel to see our team represent the city

 

Unfortunately you get a healthy dose of ESD

 

In a nice part of London were away fans were given 2 pubs to use, I found a small restaurant were the proprietor was happy for a small group of us to drink there as he set the place up for the evening 

 

Another group of fans seen us and made their way in. My approach was to get the bar staff onside. The helmet who bounced in went right past the presumed owner and shouts to his mate in the most over the top accent 

 

'Eh lad, they have................ the ............. Heineken'

 

You know that exotic and difficult to pronounce beverage

 

His mate comes bounding over and instead of acknowledging the staff, he proceeds to look around the bar like he is mafioso surveying a bar for bugs closely followed by another ESD disciple who was dressed like Harry from Home Alone. The cat burglar copied his mate with over the top scanning of the room

 

Try hards

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A woman in work went with her husband to Gdansk last week. She sounds scouse but has a normal accent. Said she got talking to a couple of people from Birmingham and also London who were surprised how "normal" her accent was.

 

They said they have met people from Liverpool on holiday before but their accent is almost impossible to understand, too fast and uses far too much slang.

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10 hours ago, Liverpool lad said:

One of them was on my train and I seen him on the platform as we arrived back 

 

He was dressed in mountaineering gear and was walking down with this daft smirk on his face wanting to be noticed by other passengers. He genuinely thought he was a soldier returning from war

Just tag him @Captain Turdseye

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10 hours ago, Harry Squatter said:

A woman in work went with her husband to Gdansk last week. She sounds scouse but has a normal accent. Said she got talking to a couple of people from Birmingham and also London who were surprised how "normal" her accent was.

 

They said they have met people from Liverpool on holiday before but their accent is almost impossible to understand, too fast and uses far too much slang.

Brummies commenting on the Scouse accent.....frigging hell!

 

They and their surrounding areas have the worst accent in the country by a mile - sound as thick as fuck.

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Used to play footy in the national civil service cup in London. All the departments from Liverpool had lads in their 20s who treated it as a 2 day bender in Benidorm and would start drinking from 8am even though would be playing 4 or 5 games in a day. 

 

The ESD was off the charts, basically loads of scouse lads thinking they are the army off 300 going to take over a pub or place. They also seem to think that if you say lad every 5 seconds and exaggerate your accent that the locals will be terrified of you, even if you are really from Crosby or Ormskirk. 

 

It was fun and games when ESD FC were drawn against all the gangster wannabees from South London. It was like the basketball scene in Scum.

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Some scouse accents are horrific, i think its a thing with most cities be it over bearing mancunians or cockneys. They make me cringe alongside the use of the word "wool" that's always made me embarrassed, some fat try hard tuning his accent to find the right frequency talking about wools or calling another scouser wool because " you use brown sauce and I use tomato sauce, yer wool". I hear liverpool football podcasts using it a lot and it makes me think of this thread. 

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17 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Some survey not long ago had the Brummie accent as the worst.

Every survey ever. My first proper missus was a brummie (Erdington) you'd get a storming lob on looking at her then she'd open her mouth and it would collapse like tower 2 

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14 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Some scouse accents are horrific, i think its a thing with most cities be it over bearing mancunians or cockneys. They make me cringe alongside the use of the word "wool" that's always made me embarrassed, some fat try hard tuning his accent to find the right frequency talking about wools or calling another scouser wool because " you use brown sauce and I use tomato sauce, yer wool". I hear liverpool football podcasts using it a lot and it makes me think of this thread. 

The correct term is 'woolyback.'

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2 hours ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Some scouse accents are horrific, i think its a thing with most cities be it over bearing mancunians or cockneys. They make me cringe alongside the use of the word "wool" that's always made me embarrassed, some fat try hard tuning his accent to find the right frequency talking about wools or calling another scouser wool because " you use brown sauce and I use tomato sauce, yer wool". I hear liverpool football podcasts using it a lot and it makes me think of this thread. 

Any over-exaggerated accent is hellish. Scouse is no exception. That "urban London" one that the likes of Emile Smith-Rowe talk with, get a grip. Likewise that chewy OTT Manc Liam Gallagher/Mani accent is hideous, it will get to the point where it out parodies itself in the end and it will become complete and utter gibberish.      

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14 hours ago, Liverpool lad said:

One of them was on my train and I seen him on the platform as we arrived back 

 

He was dressed in mountaineering gear and was walking down with this daft smirk on his face wanting to be noticed by other passengers. He genuinely thought he was a soldier returning from war

they don't get out much the bad scalls

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It is funny the way when you meet a scouser in a club outside Liverpool they immediately try and bond with you and stage a takeover of both the club and surrounding area, based on the understanding all wollybacks are scared of scousers and that, while they may be able to stop one, they couldn't stop two. A bit like the Borg.

 

"Captain, there was a guy from Netherly in the toilets, I believe he plans to intimidate all the men and have sex with all the women."

 

"He won't stay in the toilets. After he's taken the club he'll text our Kev and his crew - who claim to be from Park Road but are actually from Daresbury - they'll then take over all neighborhouring drinking establishments, before entering the nearest kebab shop and shouting at the top of his voice 'hey lad, do you sell kebabs, lad?'

PCSIKFRXRNEBTA6JNAT36JSC34.jpg

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There's also a hierarchy of scouse areas that makes you hard. 

 

Park Road, Toxteth

Norris Green

Croxteth

Dingle

Everton

Anfield 

Scotty Road

Kensington 

 

Huyton 

Kirkby 

Bootle

Stockbridge Village (Canny Farm) are all areas of ESD potential but are let down bu them being in Knowsley and Sefton.

 

Even if live there you never go out and hide behind your sofa every night you can travel to a less scouse/hard area and make out you are Lenny McLean to unsuspecting wet wipes from other places.

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20 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

There's also a hierarchy of scouse areas that makes you hard. 

 

Park Road, Toxteth

Norris Green

Croxteth

Dingle

Everton

Anfield 

Scotty Road

Kensington 

 

Huyton 

Kirkby 

Bootle

Stockbridge Village (Canny Farm) are all areas of ESD potential but are let down bu them being in Knowsley and Sefton.

 

Even if live there you never go out and hide behind your sofa every night you can travel to a less scouse/hard area and make out you are Lenny McLean to unsuspecting wet wipes from other places.

I'd leg anyone from any of these gaffs

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