People with bizarre names

[Remmie]

Just tried to call someone at work called Odongoo Shiiter, kind of relieved that a colleague didn't pick up so I'd have to ask after them

[Aventus]

[Sugar Ape]

@Fowlers God would give some of these a run for their money. Though I think Badger and Corinthian might be too much even for him. We’ve got a Zebedee mentioned as well @Remmie. Think they’ve just scalped the GF for this article. 
 

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/triptych-helvetica-and-badger-welcome-to-the-world-of-crazy-baby-names-qkkbc76h7

 

Triptych, Helvetica and Badger: welcome to the world of crazy baby names

 

Parents are opting for ever-stranger monikers so their children stand out from the crowd. Are they being cruel or kind?

 

 

Hugo and Olivia von Halle announced the birth of their third child last week, choosing the pages of The Times to do so. Rarely has a simple 22-word classified notice caused such a rumpus. “A daughter, Triptych Alabama Bliss, sister to Hieronymus and Dionysus,” it said.

 

“Could it be the trigger for a sleeper cell somewhere?” one wag asked after the announcement went viral on Twitter. “I’m sure Triptych Alabama Bliss is the font I used on a particularly unsuccessful ad campaign in 2007,” said another.

 

When it was discovered that her brothers’ full names were Dionysus Cosmo Chaos and Hieronymus Vladimir Azax, people speculated that either the parents were unspeakably cruel or enacting some strange form of performance art.

 

But Triptych’s parents are, I discovered last week, utterly charming and genuinely thrilled that their children’s names have given people such entertainment.

 

“We love it, honestly we do,” says Oliva, 37, via Zoom, from the family home in Notting Hill, west London, with “Trip” on her lap and Hugo, 36, beside her. “The meaner the better, it makes us laugh so much.”

 

But why Triptych or Hieronymus? “I’ve got the most common name in Britain,” says Olivia, who designs luxury pyjamas.

 

“There are thousands of Olivias born every year in Britain” — 4,082 in 2019 to be precise, according to Office for National Statistics data. “It’s my reaction to being known my whole life as Tall Liv, Posh Liv, Crazy Liv. I wanted my children to have something unusual.”

 

Well, they’ve succeeded. But isn’t there a risk they could end up being bullied? I speak as someone called Wallop, a fully paid-up member of the silly-name club.

 

“Hero’s best friend is Fox. And he goes to school with a Raver and a Wilder,” Olivia says. Hugo chips in: “If you’re called John it doesn’t stop you getting bullied.”

 

Silly or not, Triptych is part of an unstoppable trend. Names are becoming increasingly diverse. In 1999, there were 3,824 different girls’ names registered. In 2019, there were 5,591.

 

There were 1,213 girls called Luna born in 2019, 1,156 called Aria, 777 called Aurora. Harlow-Grace, Syklar-May, Skylar-Rae, Esmae-Grace were all more popular names (with eight girls each called this) than either Susan (seven) or Carol (a mere three).

 

As for the boys, there were 1,678 called Arlo, 1,433 called Mason, 1,400 called Albie and 1,356 called Jaxon. A mere 11 were called Trevor and 13 called Gordon. More boys were called A — just “A” — or Markuss, Kruz, Cruiz, Jack-Junior and Haydar (ten each) than Nigel, a name given to a mere nine boys.

 

I “collect” outré baby names that make it into the births columns and sometimes they are proper marmalade-droppers. Design consultants Vik and Perry Haydn Taylor called their daughters, Perpetua, Helvetica and Clarendon, all names of typefaces. I’ve also spotted: “A son, Zebedee Ebenezer Jay, a brother for Badger, Clementine and Florence” and “a daughter Elektra Esmeralda, a little sister for Dorothy, Wulfstan and Cleopatra”

 

Laura Wattenberg, author of The Baby Name Wizard, has studied global naming trends for some time. She says the explosion in the variety of names is linked to two 1990s trends — the emergence of the internet, which introduced the idea of having to find a unique username when you registered on Hotmail or MySpace, and the decision by the US and UK statistical authorities to publish full lists of newborns names, not just the top 10. “Parents would type in a name, see that somewhere somebody already had that name,” she says. “It tapped into this hidden reservoir of competitiveness. Parents started looking for names outside the top 100 or even the top 1,000, and once you get to that point you’re really pushing the boundaries.”

 

Sarah Strang, 41, called her twins, born 18 months ago, Ionic Margot and Corinthian James. Being married to Iain, an architect, partly explains it, but only partly. “I had this sense we’d created a family unit, a system. And that made me think of the classical order.” And why not Doric? “We’re saving that for the dog,” she laughs.

 

Strang is relaxed if, later on, her children use their middle name, shorten them or change them. Zowie Bowie, son of singer David, reverted to his birth name, Duncan Jones, but never fully let go of the middle name he was called as a boy: he called his own daughter Zowie.

 

Liv von Halle, however, is confident her children’s names will help to forge their identities. “I think the name maketh the man.”

 

She adds: “I love the idea of London having the von Halle siblings: Hero, Trip and Chaos.”

 

Twitter thread below:

 

 

[TheHowieLama]

Love the name Nigel - know a couple very sound ones - course I am in my 50's but still.

 

Also Giles - great name, where does that fall?

[Ken Robber]

Years ago when I auditioned for drama school I burst out laughing when one of the other candidates was called out and her name was noncer (she was Portuguese) 

 

I didn't get a placement

[Remmie]

I'm glad I'm a Zebedee now, hated havinbg a weird name as a kid though. But I would have made a proper shite Gareth or Des.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

On 18/10/2021 at 19:10, TheHowieLama said:

Love the name Nigel - know a couple very sound ones - course I am in my 50's but still.

 

I don't think I've ever met a Nigel 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

[Pete]

Used to open the post when I worked in an accounts department as a junior. Best name ever I saw was Mr Wankling. 
 

[redinblack]

Was rooting through some old copies of Through The Wind And Rain recently and in one of the Story So Far sections it is mentioned that ex f**tb*****r and manager Martin Jols brothers / agents were called Cok and Dick.

 

As I am 59 years old but still just a fat old boy still this made me laugh more than somewhat.

[redinblack]

Company I used to work at there was a lady on the IT Support Desk based in Manila called Lovely Boyles.

[Clem H Fandango]

Ed balls. Two anatomical parts melded together to make one giant cunt.

[easytoslip]

Gussie Finknottle, i quite like PSmith with a silent P.