Crap brag

[Thants]

I can eat Muesli twice in a day

[Remmie]

I've just come back from driving to Milton Keynes, then Luton and back using nowt but A and B roads. It was just under 500 miles, cost around 50 quid in diesel, and took a combined total of about 14 hours, longer coming back as the A40 near Gloucester was like a fucking car park.

Should have met me for a beer.

[Redder Lurtz]

I'm presenting three different reports at out Tasking & Coordination meeting this afternoon.

[mattyq]

I've just had a rather large lunch and haven't fallen asleep yet. Surely some sort of afternoon record

[RedinSweden]

I once ate three weetabix.

[Jorge Borge]

I'm still in bed.

[She Knows It]

Today I refused to go and meet Ian Rush, who was opening our new offices.

[Elmyn Noos]

Today I refused to go and meet Ian Rush, who was opening our new offices.

 

You just know that is going to get your sorry blue arse negged.

[She Knows It]

You just know that is going to get your sorry blue arse negged.

 

I'd anticipated that, but it had nothing to do with him being one of your lot. I just hate sycophants. It's not a question of why I'd want to meet Ian Rush, but a question of why Ian Rush would want to meet me (apart from the fact he's being paid handsomely for the privilege).

 

Office Manager: "Liz, will you come and meet Ian Rush".

Me: "Is there outside catering?"

OM: "Yes".

Me: "Well let me know when he's gone so I can go and forage for leftovers".

[melons]

I completed the ironing pile today.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I have a stinky finger

[macc]

I ate all my tea/dinner/supper* tonight

 

*delete as applicable

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I ate all my tea/dinner/supper* tonight

 

*delete as applicable

 

The question is, what do YOU think is applicable?

[Reacher]

I got £75 worth of Thorntons chocolates for £30 in a sale today.

[md1892]

I look after my kids ! , your fucking supposed to you twat.

[macc]

 

The question is, what do YOU think is applicable?

 

Evening meal is obviously 'Tea'

[Pony Princess]

I saw a heron this morning

 

I did a spectacular database entity-relationship diagram in Visio earlier

 

Almost forgot - did a bathroom ballerina this morning and once I withdrew my finger from the dress, it was still spotless.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I thought I was going to miss my train this morning but walked a bit faster and just made it

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I got a 5p head start in the vending machine before thus paying 5p less than I had actually expected to pay but still 10p more than the standard price of the pruchased item. I arrived late at the bus stop this morning but it turned out the bus was also late so in many ways I was actually right on time.

[Uncle_Meat]

I've just answered the phone with a "Good Mornnnnternoon", which had them rolling in the aisles. A career in standup awaits, no doubt.

[melons]

I'm getting a new bathroom to replace the tin shed attached to the house in about 8 weeks. That'd be fine, but i also find out today that i'll be moving out for 14 weeks in 4 weeks whilst they do the bathroom amongst other things. Bastards.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I'm going to put a box under the new xmas tree when I get in to make it 7ft and not 6ft, this will end much deliberation over whether we did the right thing in getting the smaller tree. If she doesn't like it I will remove the box and revert back to the original 6ft tree.

[Mendoza]

I once met Pete Waterman at a real ale festival in Atherton.

[Bobby Hundreds]

I've high fived Sid little.

 

Fo real.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Didn't get caught in the rain today