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Do you like Christmas?


Guest TK-421
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Do you like Christmas  

80 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you like Christmas

    • Yes - peace and goodwill to all men, women, children and squid
    • No - fuck the whole thing off


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For the first year ever, I’m going on strike on Christmas Day. Every year I spend the whole week before organising, shopping and stressing. Christmas Eve is like a mad mash of Masterchef and DIY SOS, peeling veg and preparing stuff. I’m already knackered by the time I drag myself out of bed on Christmas Day to open presents (briefly) then it’s straight into the kitchen to make a full English for my enormous tribe. If I’m lucky I’ll find ten minutes to jump in the shower and throw some clothes on before I immediately get the Christmas lunch on. I’ll cook it single handedly, usually for 10-12 people, then sit down to eat with them. They’ll all look glam as fuck, while I’m a frazzled, sweating mess with hair like Boris Johnson and no make-up on. And so it continues for the rest of the day...

 

So this year I’ve told them there’s going to be no Christmas lunch. I’m going to relax and sit down, eat chocolate, drink and watch shit telly. I’ll do a buffet of ready-prepared stuff, but there’ll be no cooking. My husband is completely supportive and thinks it’s a great idea. The kids on the other hand are organising management talks with the unions. No words can describe their horror and disgust. I don’t give a shit; the bloody lazy, expectant, millennial bastards. 

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5 minutes ago, Teasmaid said:

For the first year ever, I’m going on strike on Christmas Day. Every year I spend the whole week before organising, shopping and stressing. Christmas Eve is like a mad mash of Masterchef and DIY SOS, peeling veg and preparing stuff. I’m already knackered by the time I drag myself out of bed on Christmas Day to open presents (briefly) then it’s straight into the kitchen to make a full English for my enormous tribe. If I’m lucky I’ll find ten minutes to jump in the shower and throw some clothes on before I immediately get the Christmas lunch on. I’ll cook it single handedly, usually for 10-12 people, then sit down to eat with them. They’ll all look glam as fuck, while I’m a frazzled, sweating mess with hair like Boris Johnson and no make-up on. And so it continues for the rest of the day...

 

So this year I’ve told them there’s going to be no Christmas lunch. I’m going to relax and sit down, eat chocolate, drink and watch shit telly. I’ll do a buffet of ready-prepared stuff, but there’ll be no cooking. My husband is completely supportive and thinks it’s a great idea. The kids on the other hand are organising management talks with the unions. No words can describe their horror and disgust. I don’t give a shit; the bloody lazy, expectant, millennial bastards. 

 

"Feast" to "famine".

 

That usually gets a reaction.

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1 hour ago, Teasmaid said:

For the first year ever, I’m going on strike on Christmas Day. Every year I spend the whole week before organising, shopping and stressing. Christmas Eve is like a mad mash of Masterchef and DIY SOS, peeling veg and preparing stuff. I’m already knackered by the time I drag myself out of bed on Christmas Day to open presents (briefly) then it’s straight into the kitchen to make a full English for my enormous tribe. If I’m lucky I’ll find ten minutes to jump in the shower and throw some clothes on before I immediately get the Christmas lunch on. I’ll cook it single handedly, usually for 10-12 people, then sit down to eat with them. They’ll all look glam as fuck, while I’m a frazzled, sweating mess with hair like Boris Johnson and no make-up on. And so it continues for the rest of the day...

 

So this year I’ve told them there’s going to be no Christmas lunch. I’m going to relax and sit down, eat chocolate, drink and watch shit telly. I’ll do a buffet of ready-prepared stuff, but there’ll be no cooking. My husband is completely supportive and thinks it’s a great idea. The kids on the other hand are organising management talks with the unions. No words can describe their horror and disgust. I don’t give a shit; the bloody lazy, expectant, millennial bastards. 

Get them all a microwavable Birdseye Christmas special.

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8 minutes ago, Elite said:

Get them all a microwavable Birdseye Christmas special.

Would you eat that?

 

SKI’s right, if no other bugger does their bit she can choose what she wants to do and maybe if they want the full Christmas dinner experience they might think about having a go themselves in future

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4 minutes ago, Champ said:

Would you eat that?

 

SKI’s right, if no other bugger does their bit she can choose what she wants to do and maybe if they want the full Christmas dinner experience they might think about having a go themselves in future

Yeah I'd eat it. I wouldn't be thrilled about the prospect but the experience would be over in 1 minute, have you seen the portion sizes?

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9 minutes ago, Champ said:

Would you eat that?

 

SKI’s right, if no other bugger does their bit she can choose what she wants to do and maybe if they want the full Christmas dinner experience they might think about having a go themselves in future

 

Indeed, it's not 1966 and all that.

 

When Mum cooked a full Christmas bells and whistles meal for my Dad, her family and a bunch of Dad's mates...

 

... and gave birth to me the next day.

 

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2 hours ago, Teasmaid said:

So this year I’ve told them there’s going to be no Christmas lunch. I’m going to relax and sit down, eat chocolate, drink and watch shit telly. I’ll do a buffet of ready-prepared stuff, but there’ll be no cooking. My husband is completely supportive and thinks it’s a great idea. The kids on the other hand are organising management talks with the unions. No words can describe their horror and disgust. I don’t give a shit; the bloody lazy, expectant, millennial bastards. 

 

Love it. Smash the Christmas system. Tell them that if they want a Christmas dinner they can cook it themselves, so they can appreciate what you go through.

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8 minutes ago, Elite said:

Bet your poor ma ended up cooking the tea a few hours after your birth.

 

There wasn't much respite in those days... indeed, of all people, her mother would have been cracking the whip most.

 

Anachronistic inequities are quite rightly mostly blamed on men, but "cherchez la femme" was just as relevant and prevalent in E European culture.

 

 

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2 hours ago, Teasmaid said:

For the first year ever, I’m going on strike on Christmas Day. Every year I spend the whole week before organising, shopping and stressing. Christmas Eve is like a mad mash of Masterchef and DIY SOS, peeling veg and preparing stuff. I’m already knackered by the time I drag myself out of bed on Christmas Day to open presents (briefly) then it’s straight into the kitchen to make a full English for my enormous tribe. If I’m lucky I’ll find ten minutes to jump in the shower and throw some clothes on before I immediately get the Christmas lunch on. I’ll cook it single handedly, usually for 10-12 people, then sit down to eat with them. They’ll all look glam as fuck, while I’m a frazzled, sweating mess with hair like Boris Johnson and no make-up on. And so it continues for the rest of the day...

 

So this year I’ve told them there’s going to be no Christmas lunch. I’m going to relax and sit down, eat chocolate, drink and watch shit telly. I’ll do a buffet of ready-prepared stuff, but there’ll be no cooking. My husband is completely supportive and thinks it’s a great idea. The kids on the other hand are organising management talks with the unions. No words can describe their horror and disgust. I don’t give a shit; the bloody lazy, expectant, millennial bastards. 

 

 

Boxing Day dinner pisses all over Christmas anyway. 

 

All the cold meats, pickles, bubble and squeak, beer for breakfast...

 

All that fucking stress for one day? 

 

Fuck it off. 

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I always felt sorry for my Mum at Christmas, slaving away in the kitchen while everyone else was living the life of riley in the living room. I never even liked Christmas dinner either:-

 

Sprouts - disgusting

Turkey - second rate chicken

Roast potatoes - I'm sorry but they're overrated, it's just a fucking tattie

Christmas cake - utterly rank, who wants fruit in a cake?

 

Plus, why do we fuck up our meal times just because Jesus was hung on this day 2,018 years ago, having your meal at 3 in the afternoon is an affront to civilised society.

 

I keep saying to my mother in law that we'll just get a curry in but she's insistent that we have to have the full traditional works. Fuck knows why people have to go through all that shit every year, get a curry in, it's 20 times better & a million times less hassle & it all ends up coming out your arsehole anyway.

 

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21 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

 

 

Boxing Day dinner pisses all over Christmas anyway. 

 

All the cold meats, pickles, bubble and squeak, beer for breakfast...

 

All that fucking stress for one day? 

 

Fuck it off. 

Bubble and squeak, now you’re talking my language. It’s too often overlooked in these northern parts. I thank my 50% cockney genes for my love of fried mash and cabbage.

 

Can I add, in my defence, I wouldn’t even expect the buggers to cook the whole dinner. I’d be happy if they offered to peel a bag of spuds and make breakfast. 

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5 minutes ago, Mook said:

I always felt sorry for my Mum at Christmas, slaving away in the kitchen while everyone else was living the life of riley in the living room. I never even liked Christmas dinner either:-

 

Spouts - disgusting

Turkey - second rate chicken

Roast potatoes - I'm sorry but they're overrated, it's just a fucking tattie

Christmas cake - utterly rank, who wants fruit in a cake?

 

Plus, why do we fuck up our meal times just because Jesus was hung on this day 2,018 years ago, having your meal at 3 in the afternoon is an affront to civilised society.

 

I keep saying to my mother in law that we'll just get a curry in but she's insistent that we have to have the full traditional works. Fuck knows why people have to go through all that shit every year, get a curry in, it's 20 times better & a million times less hassle & it all ends up coming out your arsehole anyway.

 

Have to disagree, mate.

 

Roasties and gravy > curry

 

Sprouts are awful, though. Broccoli, cauliflower, swede, roast parsnips.

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1 minute ago, Tony Moanero said:

Have to disagree, mate.

 

Roasties and gravy > curry

 

Sprouts are awful, though. Broccoli, cauliflower, swede, roast parsnips.

I wouldn't expect everyone to agree on the food specifically but getting a takaway would save the person or persons doing all that preparation an awful lot of hassle & it's all just scran at the end of the day.

 

Another thing I can't stand about Christmas are the supermarkets in the lead up, the place is shut for one, maybe two days & people are running about like there's a nuclear war on the horizon.

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5 minutes ago, Mook said:

I wouldn't expect everyone to agree on the food specifically but getting a takaway would save the person or persons doing all that preparation an awful lot of hassle & it's all just scran at the end of the day.

 

Another thing I can't stand about Christmas are the supermarkets in the lead up, the place is shut for one, maybe two days & people are running about like there's a nuclear war on the horizon.

Yeah, utter madness. We never do online food shopping but we are going to this time. Either that or let a load of stink bombs off in Sainsbury’s, clear the place and have it to ourselves.

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