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Animal Destruction - The Final

Remmie

By Remmie,
in GF - General Forum

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The Final, who's the last animal standing/crouching/living?  

58 members have voted

  1. 1. The Final, who's the last animal standing/crouching/living?


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Karl_b Grand Master

Karl_b

Posted
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The Polar Bear sneaks off and turns the temperature right down in the cold room (whilst he's away the Badger bites the Elephant which dies of rabies) thus making the room freeze up.

 

the Alligator and Rhino go at each other before the Badger decides it needs some new leather shoes and kills the Gator.

 

Teh Polar Bear then sneaks back in and savages the Rhino to death.

 

Backed into a corner by the Badger, teh Polar Bear covers his nose and can now camouflage against the now icy walls. In a state of confusion the Badger attacks an old, manky ham Sandwich and starts to feel a bit ill. The Polar Bear sees his chance and takes two bits of bread and makes a Badger Butty, making the Badger wish he had been killed by the Giant Squid.

 

Polar Bear wins.

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05 Milan Grand Master

05 Milan

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The badger dies first. Clearly affected by shame and a feeling that he has no right to be there, he commits suicide by jumping from high altitude on the rhino's horn. As he draws his final breath, he curses the idiots who voted him all the way to the final.

 

The polar bear easily disposes of the alligator by grabbing its jaws and breaking them, as he has seen Mick Dundee do. The elephant is slayed by a gut-slash from the razor-sharp rhino-horn. The rhino and the polar bear remain in the sandwich shop. The rhino stomps his feet and charges towards the bear, but behold! The polar bear jumps out of the way in just the right time, and the rhino crashes into a stack of shelves. As the polar bear gets on his feet, he senses a funny smell, and realises that the rhino has crashed straight into the gas tank. He runs out the door in slow motion, hearing only the sound of his own heartbeat, and throws himself into a ditch just as the sandwich shop explodes in an inferno of fire.

 

THE END.

 

Edit: The polar bear dedicates the victory to his best mate, the giant squid. "He was the true winner", the polar bear exclaimed with tears running down his cheeks.

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kop Grand Master

kop

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The Elephant, no question. The only animal capable of causing the elephant some kind of trouble is the Rhino, but the elephant's thick skin and superior IQ, along with reasonable pace and a lot of stamina and strength gives him the upper hand. He will bitchslap him with his trunk, tip the Rhino over before he stamps on him. Viva the Elephant! (he will have a Tapir in his corner for sure).

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Fink Mentor

Fink

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The Elephant, no question. The only animal capable of causing the elephant some kind of trouble is the Rhino, but the elephant's thick skin and superior IQ, along with reasonable pace and a lot of stamina and strength gives him the upper hand. He will bitchslap him with his trunk, tip the Rhino over before he stamps on him. Viva the Elephant! (he will have a Tapir in his corner for sure).

Badger has a backpac of mice to help him with troublesome pachyderms

 

Ladys and gentlemen, I bring forth the honey badger.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ratel

 

Can I highlight the section headed Predators where it says

 

"A heathy adult honey badger has virtually no predators, because of their ferocity and thick, loose skin that make one difficult to grip or kill. Old, weak honey badgers may fall prey to leopards, lions and pythons, but even old honey badgers can and will defend themselves as vigorously as possible. In one case, an old female honey badger which was nearly toothless and had one blind eye was attacked by a leopard. It took about one hour for the leopard to kill it."

 

Trust me, you do not mess with these bad boys, they literally have no fear. Know why they are called honey badgers? Because they stick their noses into nests of furious bees to get the sweet golden nectar. They get stung millions of times and they still carry on like nothing has happened.

 

LONG LIVE BADGER!!!!!!!!!!

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