Work Nicknames

[Dr Nowt]

A girl I used to work with was fucking huge, I mean 20 stone plus.

 

Her name was S** Ever**t so we called her Sumo Everest.

 

[dickie mint]

Fella we worked with -the broken lamp- every time we asked to go for bevvy he said 'I haven't got light' fucking right minge.

[fowler9]

we've got Johnny Bravo for a fella who spends most of his time chatting up female colleagues then Statler and Waldorf for the two grumpy old blokes who sit next to each other moaning about something or other (one is also known as Norris Cole)

[AngryOfTuebrook]

There was a bloke in our place who insisted on using his title "Doctor" even though his doctorate was fuck-all to do with his job.  (His job was related to crime prevention campaigns; his doctorate was in Elizabethan poetry.)  He was also a lazy fucker.

 

Doctor Doolittle, obviously.

[Pony Princess]

Fella in the office eats at least eight packets of crisps a day. Golden Wonder.

[Koptimus Prime]

Large bird in work deals with export loads gets called Le Grande Tractor or LGT for short.

[The_Goat]

used to work with a smelly unwashed bloke, was called Lloyd. Because he was a gross man.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Whopper in our work got a temporary team leader gig and it went to his head. Told a girl off for eating a yogurt at her desk with the logic 'you can eat things but you can't use cutlery and you've got a spoon'

 

Henceforth Captain Spoon was born

[Lee909]

Poo hand Dan

Dysentery Dan

Poisonous dwarf

 

Or Dirty cunt

 

The dirty fucker never washed his hands after using the loo

[Dr Nowt]

A lad I worked with starting seeing a big unit one of my mates had once dabbled with, the rest of us referring to her as Long Distance Clara.

[Rico1304]

New bloke called Mark Howard started at our place.  He’s now nicknamed ‘Take’

[Captain Turdseye]

.

[Carvalho Diablo]

I'd like it if my nickname was Monkfish.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Bloke who used to work in our place was known as Jimmy Chatshit.

 

See if you can guess why.

[General Dryness]

Worked with a fella back home who, since he'd suffered a collapsed lung, was known as "treasure". Because of his sunken chest.

[manwiththestick]

We have Creepy Steve. He's late forties and he hangs around the office canteen trying to make small talk with all the young girls. Found out that he had been looking and liking stuff on all their LinkedIn profiles in the early hours one weekend.

 

Legend.

[Bjornebye]

10 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

We have Creepy Steve. He's late forties and he hangs around the office canteen trying to make small talk with all the young girls. Found out that he had been looking and liking stuff on all their LinkedIn profiles in the early hours one weekend.

 

Legend.

You work with Rico?

 

Scenes. 

[Kidder Bukowski]

Not work related but back in the day on Kenny there was a fella known as Gorbachev due to his proclivities as a mine sweeper in the local pubs. Nichhail Gorbachev?

I know you pedants but a little artistic license is surely allowed in the case of a genius name.

[Rico1304]

1 hour ago, manwiththestick said:

We have Creepy Steve. He's late forties and he hangs around the office canteen trying to make small talk with all the young girls. Found out that he had been looking and liking stuff on all their LinkedIn profiles in the early hours one weekend.

 

Legend.

Didn’t know we worked together. 

[Rico1304]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

You work with Rico?

 

Scenes. 

Ha ha you bastard. 

[Tony Moanero]

On 03/08/2014 at 10:10, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

A lad I worked with starting seeing a big unit one of my mates had once dabbled with, the rest of us referring to her as Long Distance Clara.

Pigeon Street rep.

[polymerpunkah]

Husband and wife on a forest-fire-fighting crew.

 

She was a very attractive woman, and he was not in her league.

 

Every time you saw her, you knew he'd be along shortly thereafter to keep track of her. It was uncanny.

 

We nicknamed him "the bird-dog".

 

 

 

[Harry Squatter]

There's some studenty lad in our work who has long dark hair and a beard. He wears loads of mad weird clothes but thinks he's some style icon. I was in the break room talking to my mate and this lad walks past and he says, "kip of him, he looks like a Jarg Andrea Pirlo" 

 

So hes been christened Jarg Pirlo. 

[Harry Squatter]

Theres some woman on my floor who is dead tall and has the longest thinnest face I've seen. Some lad said she looks like the alien off the end of the Star Trek credits. So he calls her "the star trek fella"

 

 

[Bruce Spanner]

On 03/06/2011 at 14:43, brucespanner said:

Once worked with a guy called Frank 'The Bastard'.

 

Never did find out the reason behind the moniker, but after spending a few ill advised nights out with Mr The Bastard I could understand his Bastardness, the guy was an animal.

A blast from the past.

 

Years later Frank would pretty much set fire to his house and all his worldly possessions after one sweet sherry too many. Mr The Bastard didn’t have time for insurance and even less time for interior design, so he just left it as it was, a charred reimagining if it’s former ‘glory’. 
 

I assume, years later, it’s still the same.

 

I don’t miss Frank.