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Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!


Josef Svejk
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I cant believe that no-one has mentioned James "rhyming" Blunt.

 

"You're Beautiful"

 

My life is brilliant.

 

My life is brilliant.

My love is pure.

I saw an angel.

Of that I'm sure.

She smiled at me on the subway.

She was with another man.

But I won't lose no sleep on that,

'Cause I've got a plan.

 

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause I'll never be with you.

 

Yeah, she caught my eye,

As we walked on by.

She could see from my face that I was,

Flying high, [ - video/radio edited version]

Fucking high, [ - CD version]

And I don't think that I'll see her again,

But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

 

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause I'll never be with you.

 

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,

When she thought up that I should be with you.

But it's time to face the truth,

I will never be with you.

 

 

Atrocious lyrics. Just because he can ryhme and throw in the odd swear word for 'credibilty' doesnt make him a genius. I can ryhme too but I bet this doesnt sell many copies...

 

James Blunt

He's a cunt

He writes great lyrics

Oh no he fucking dunt

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Most shitty rap music lyrics are awful, Eminem etc. Basically, think of a word, then think of another word that rhymes with it and hey presto, you're a rapper!

 

There was a group called Roll Deep and they had one line which really pissed me off in one of their songs called Shake a Leg:

 

I get randy

Do you know what'd be handy?

A little class of brandy

Now I'm skankin with big chest Mandy

 

What the fuck is that?

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Most shitty rap music lyrics are awful, Eminem etc. Basically, think of a word, then think of another word that rhymes with it and hey presto, you're a rapper!

 

There was a group called Roll Deep and they had one line which really pissed me off in one of their songs called Shake a Leg:

 

I get randy

Do you know what'd be handy?

A little class of brandy

Now I'm skankin with big chest Mandy

 

What the fuck is that?

The thing is, you're really really wrong. Rap is the same as any genre, there's shit lyricists and good lyricists. So, in the same way as other genres, a lot of what you hear in the charts is watered down, brainless drivel. But I'd put Chuck D, Illmatic-era Nas, GZA and Rakim up there with Bob Dylan in the canon.

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Twenty years from now Eminem will be appearing on daytime TV rapping about arthritis and amnesia. I'll not remember predicting it either, as I sit with joint pains watching him on my old-fashioned plasma TV. Will TLW still be around though?

 

Rash will.

 

Sack Parry Junior :wallbutt:

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Open a soda pop, watch it fizz and pop

The clock is tickin' and we can't stop

Open a soda pop, bop-shi-bop-shi-bop

The clock is tickin' and we can't stop

 

Britney Spears, “Soda Pop”

 

"I know I sound serious and baby I am,

You're a fine piece of real estate and I'm gonna get me some land."

 

I'm Gonna Getcha Good, Shania Twain

 

 

"I want you to come and listen to my body sing,

Ya wanna hear my bell ring - biddy-bong-bing."

 

This Groove, Victoria Beckham

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"Cant complain, musn't grumble,help yourself to another piece of apple crumble"

 

ABC ..........That was then but this is now.......................

 

Have i won?

 

That's a top tune tho, especially the "aaah, aaah, ah, ah, ah, ah ah" bit at the end. Shame really, cos Martin Fry is a very good lyricist (lots of oh so clever stuff on the Lexicon Of Love and How To Be A Zillionaire).

 

Loads of really shite lyrics about, hear tons every day on every banal radio station. One that's always got me, mostly because of the phoney sincerity and sentimentality of the whole song really sticks in me throat:

 

"I couldn't live without my phone, but you don't even have a home"

 

Dyke Spice, Mel Chisselwissel at her best (or is that worst)

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Thought the same myself this morning. And yesterday. And any other time his shite's been on the radio.

 

Well done you just said the magic words and are todays winner in "Who wants to talk a load of shite". Tell him what he's won Jenny:

 

Well he's going to be walking away with both of the Streets previous albums Stu and hopefully he will listen to them and understand what a smelly ballbag he's been.

 

That's all for this episode folks!

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What about thins little ditty without the brummie drone then RR?

 

Stop dreaming

People who say that are blaspheming

They're doing nine to five and moaning

And they don't want you succeeding when theyve blown it

And you idols - who are they?

They too dreamt about their day

Positive steps will see your goals.

Whether it's dollars or control, feel the gold.

I aint helping you climb the ladder

I'm busy climbing mine.

That's how it's been since the dawn of time

If you reach a cul-de-sac

The world turns it's back

This is you zone, it's like blackjack

He might get the ace or the top one

So organise your two's and three's into a run then you'll have fucked him son

And for that you'll be the better one

One last thing before you go though

When you feel better tommorow you'll be a hero

But never forget today. you could be back here

Things can stray

What if you see me in that window?

You won't help me I know.

That's cool, just keep walking where you go.

Carry on through the estate, stare at the geezers so they know you aint lightweight

And go see your mates

And when they don't look happy

Play them this tape

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Very inspirational words there actually. Almost like a modern day YNWA. What's the track called - I might do a little downloading and give it a listen?

 

He's obviously talented, I just find his voice so irritating. Trouble is though I don't actually listen to him, I just hear him. That means the strong lyrics don't really get a chance to overpower the awful vocal style ;) .

 

I'll try and get hold of the albums and have a listen. It's only fair.

 

That's called "Stay Positive" off the first album. It took me a while to get into them (and I think the current single is shite) but I really like the albums. He catches day to day stuff really well but can then pinpoint really poignant stuff too.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Can I just add one I have heard recently. Andreas Johnson and his entry in Song for Europe in Sweden:

 

Staring at a photograph

Of where we used to be

When the sky was bright

And crystal clear

And life was just a breeze

Oh, well, there's something taking you over

You burned all your bridges

And left without a clue

And you wonder why these memories

Keeps staring back at you

Oh, well, now don't look over you shoulder

 

Chorus:

Sing for life, sing for joy

Sing for every man and woman, girl and boy

Sing a song, a simple melody

Sing out loud or just hum

Sing for moments in the past, and times to come

Sing for history and destiny

Won't you sing for me?

 

Standing at the station

And you don't know where to go

You're trying hard to hold on to

The world you used to know

Oh, well, don't let it get to you baby

 

[Chorus]

 

Don't look back, just keep moving on

Get your feel and walk into a different song

Don't care what they say just let the music play

 

Won't you sing for me?

 

[Chorus]

 

Sing for me

 

 

 

 

 

My god, that's bad.

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  • 1 year later...

One that has been bugging me recently is from the current Editors single. It says something along the lines of "Now run with me, through this field of trees".

 

Now, stop me if I'm wrong, stop me if I'm wrong*, but isn't a field of trees a forest? Or at least a wood? You can have a field with a few trees in it but not 'a field of trees' that's just nonsense.

 

*Did you see what I did there with The Streets link?

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Urgh, I shudder when I think of this Katie Melua song:

 

----------

 

How can I think I'm standing strong,

Yet feel the air beneath my feet?

How can happiness feel so wrong?

How can misery feel so sweet?

How can you let me watch you sleep,

Then break my dreams the way you do?

How can I have got in so deep?

Why did I fall in love with you?

 

[CHORUS:]

This is the closest thing to crazy I have ever been

Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen,

This is the nearest thing to crazy I have ever known,

I was never crazy on my own...

And now I know that there's a link between the two,

Being close to craziness and being close to you.

 

How can you make me fall apart

Then break my fall with loving lies?

It's so easy to break a heart;

It's so easy to close your eyes.

How can you treat me like a child

Yet like a child I yearn for you?

How can anyone feel so wild?

How can anyone feel so blue?

 

This is the closest thing to crazy I have ever been

Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen,

This is the nearest thing to crazy I have ever known,

I was never crazy on my own...

And now I know that there's a link between the two,

Being close to craziness and being close to you.

 

----------

 

Good God.

Has there ever been a worse set of lyrics than that? Especially the chorus.

What a contrived load of utter cringeworthy toss.

 

End. Of. Thread.

(and I never say that)

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One that has been bugging me recently is from the current Editors single. It says something along the lines of "Now run with me, through this field of trees".

 

Now, stop me if I'm wrong, stop me if I'm wrong*, but isn't a field of trees a forest? Or at least a wood? You can have a field with a few trees in it but not 'a field of trees' that's just nonsense.

 

*Did you see what I did there with The Streets link?

 

it could have been a copse or perhaps even an orchard which are typically less densly planted than a wood or forest? You could defo run through an orchard.

 

Orchard would be a bastard to rhyme with though

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