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Stouffer

joke

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A dustman is going along the street emptying wheely bins in to the truck when he spots a house yet to put their bin out, he goes round the back to look for it but to no avail.

 

The dustman knocks on the door, no reply, he knocks again and after a short while a chinaman opens the door.

 

'Harro' says the chinaman

 

'Alright, mate? Where's you're bin?' says the dustman

 

'I bin on the toilet' says the chinaman

 

Realising the confusion the dustman smiles and says 'No mate, where's your dust bin?'

 

'I just bin on the toilet like I said before' replied the little chinese fellow

 

'Mate, your misunderstanding me -where's your Wheely Bin?'

 

'OK OK' says the chinaman 'I wheely bin having a wank....'

 

 

:party:

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Pierre the French fighter pilot brings a lady back to his hotel room, they're fooling around when the bird stops and says:

 

* Imagine a French accent *

"Pierre, Pierre, kiss me 'ere" (points at her lips)

 

Pierre, gets a bottle of red wine and throws it on her face......

 

"Pierre, Pierre, what are you doing?"

"I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot, I like red wine with my red meat"

 

She thinks nothing of it and they carry on, a bit later she stops and says......

 

"Pierre, Pierre, kiss me 'ere" (points at her tits)

 

Pierre, gets a bottle of white wine and throws it on her chest......

 

"Pierre, Pierre, what are you doing?"

"I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot, I like white wine with my white meat"

 

She thinks nothing of it and they carry on, a bit later she stops and says......

 

"Pierre, Pierre, kiss me 'ere" (points at her crotch)

 

Pierre, gets a bottle of brandy, throws it at her and sets it light......

 

"Pierre, Pierre, what are you doing?"

"I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot, when I go down, I go down in flames!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taxi!

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At seminary the Bishop tells the 10 new priests that there is just one more test to do before they become Priests.

 

"This one will test your spiritual purity, so take all your clothes off."

 

The priests remove all their clothes and are standing their, in the courtyard, absolutely naked. The Bishop then ties a bell to each of their willies and announces that if the bell rings they will be kicked out of seminary and will never become a priest.

 

All of a sudden the most beautiful, perfect woman appears in front of them. She has the biggest most desirable breasts, a lovely round behind and long legs to die for. She starts to dance provacatively in front of them, not only that she starts to strip.

 

As the last item of clothing is removed she bends down directly in front of Brother Carlos. With that Brother Carlos's bell starts to ring violently, so strong does it ring that it flies off in front of all the naked priests.

 

Brother Carlos, completely naked and suitably embarrassed runs forward, bends down and picks up the bell.

 

"DINGALING" the cacophony of 9 ringing bells is deafening. ;)

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A man walks in to a bar with his pet crocodile,

The bartender sees him and says"what the hell are you doing you can't bring that in here"

The man says"o no he wouldnt hurt a fly", the bartender asks him to prove it, so the man puts his head in the crocs mouth and taps him on the head and it didnt flinch,

the bartender says thats not enough proof so the man sticks his nob in the crocs mouth and hits him on the head with a barstool and it still didnt flinch,

so the bartender says to the man well maybe it's trained not to hurt you,

so the man says to everyone in the pub does anyone else want a go,

then a little old women stands up and says "i will have a go but don't hit me too hard round thye head with a barstool.

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