Utterly Pointless Films

[aws]

Not crap films but films where at the end you thought why did they bother making that.

Young Adam with Ewan McGregor - he pulls a drowned girl out of the water,shags a few women,flashes his cock and then the twist is a flashback that the girl fell in the water after telling him that he had got her pregnant.Er - that's it.

[Stu Monty]

Star Wars Episode 1.

 

Could have been condensed into 5 minutes at the start of the next film.

[Remmie]

Donnie Darko

[Bob]

lost in translation.

hitchhikers guide

Igby goes down (now that is a truely terrible film, it fits the bill of being pointless as well)

[05 Milan]

Charlies Angels 2

 

checked my watch after what seemed like 10 hours of dental surgery. 20 minutes had passed

 

it's been a while since I was so unfortunate to see it so I can't put my finger on what it is about that film that makes me ill. let's just say that I find the blending of action movie and girl flick very nauseating. why can't they just accept that women are not credible action heroes? Drew Barrymore, I hate you!

[bri]

cayote ugly...

 

whhhoooooo yeaaahhhhhh whooooo whooooo yeeaahhhhhhh yeaaah babbbbbyyyyy whoooooo.

 

Me: "JUST POUR THE FUCKIN DRINK WILL YER"

[cochcaer]

The Pink Panther films made after Sellers death using outtakes from earlier films. Like dancing on his grave.

 

Also, all of Ted TCM Turner's 'colourized' classics. What a cnut.

[aws]

Just remembered probably the most pointless film I ever watched - Death In Venice.Old man fancies young boy on beach,nothing happens,beautiful cinematography.Er...that's it.

And yes I know it's a "classic".

[DT]

Lord of the rings III

 

Couldn't they have just flown to that mountain on those birds (griffins?) that come and rescue them from the lava afterwards instead of wasting an entire movie following two midgets in their attempt to climb a mountain?

 

Would have saved millions of people millions of pounds if they'd done that.

[bri]

typical isnt it, you go 3 films without seeing one griffin bird and then two turn up right at the end

[DT]

typical isnt it, you go 3 films without seeing one griffin bird and then two turn up right at the end

 

That's what I've been saying ever since, yet everyone's always laughed it off saying I know nothing about films. Thank you for giving me back my confidence, joeyb.

[Dave H]

Hudson Hawk.....Bonfire of the Vanities

[aws]

I could be wrong but I think griffins can only fly downwards if they're fully laden.

[Stu Monty]

I could be wrong but I think griffins can only fly downwards if they're fully laden.

 

Is that a European Griffin or the larger African Griffin?

[drewy]

cayote ugly...

 

whhhoooooo yeaaahhhhhh whooooo whooooo yeeaahhhhhhh yeaaah babbbbbyyyyy whoooooo.

 

Me: "JUST POUR THE FUCKIN DRINK WILL YER"

 

Yeah but the birds in it are fuckin helmet!

[Nicky B]

Shaun of the Dead.

 

Moronic. Give a sixth form £20 k and a video camera and they'd come up with that.

[Stu Monty]

Shaun of the Dead.

 

Moronic. Give a sixth form £20 k and a video camera and they'd come up with that.

 

No they wouldn't.

 

Give them great comedy timing and the wit to laugh at the banal side of being chased by zombies and maybe they would.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Shaun of the Dead.

 

Moronic. Give a sixth form £20 k and a video camera and they'd come up with that.

 

Very disappointing movie.

 

Any film with Madonna in it.

[05 Milan]

Lord of the rings III

 

Couldn't they have just flown to that mountain on those birds (griffins?) that come and rescue them from the lava afterwards instead of wasting an entire movie following two midgets in their attempt to climb a mountain?

 

Would have saved millions of people millions of pounds if they'd done that.

 

dude,read the book

 

don't you think Sauron would have taken notice if eagles suddenly flew towards mount Doom? the whole point is that they had to sneak in unnoticed. you fell asleep during it didn't you?

 

seriously DT, read it. find out if you still have an imagination! :yes:

[DT]

don't you think Sauron would have taken notice if eagles suddenly flew towards mount Doom? the whole point is that they had to sneak in unnoticed. you fell asleep during it didn't you?

 

I don't know, you tell me.

 

I've already wasted some 10 hours on the three films (I fell asleep durting the second one thrice) do you seriously expect me to battle my way through the book ;)

 

The films remind me of Agatha Christie's Miss Marple and Hercule Poirot in that there is always ALWAYS one piece of evidence or information that the reader isn't told about. THe same applies to these films. Every time things look bleak, Tolkien introduces some new kind of feature or creature to save them - something that we didn't know about before. When it happens for the 5th time, you start to see a pattern and get bored. I did anyway :yes:

[Aaron Miller]

fellowship of the ring was good but the other two were dungeons and dragons wankfests that tried to bring fat comicbook collecting douchebags who live with their moms into vogue.

 

other pointless films:

the original texas chainsaw massacre

little nicky

natural born killers

the mexican

[Paul]

"2001: A Space Odyssey" - We're in space. Violence is bad. The end.

 

"Eyes Wide Shut" - I'm married. I like other women. The end.

[JER]

Magnolia - 3 hours of dreary nonsense, capped by a comotosed Jason Robards singing.

[Brownie]

Good shouts on 'Eyes Wide Shut' and 'The Mexican'.

 

'Bring it on' - poo.

 

'The Talented Mr Ripley' - WTF?!

[Hermes]

The Matrix-fantastic special effects but no real story line. After the second ridiculous 500-punches-a-second fight it becomes boring.