Almost got caught

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Hahaha, fucking hell.

 

My mother walked in on me once when i was humping a girlfriend from behind which was awkward to say the least. Even worse is when i was humping the missus a few years ago and our daughter who was 13 at the time walked in on us as we had forgotten to lock the door.

 

A funnier story was when i was in the army and a mate and myself took some slag back to the barracks. Steve (my mate) got some shampoo out of his locker to scrub her fanny with, not sure why as if she had a dose it wasn't exactly gonna help and there was shampoo foam everywhere. Anyway, i positioned myself at her head and went for the safer BJ option and Steve was stood on the windowsill ready to pounce on her like some randy superhero when the guard burst into the room after some cunt had snitched on us ,(it was against barrack rules to have females in the block.) The guard just burst out laughing at the scene which greeted them, got fined 500 quid for that and a regimental entry.

[lifetime fan]

Hahaha, fucking hell.

 

My mother walked in on me once when i was humping a girlfriend from behind which was awkward to say the least. Even worse is when i was humping the missus a few years ago and our daughter who was 13 at the time walked in on us as we had forgotten to lock the door.

 

A funnier story was when i was in the army and a mate and myself took some slag back to the barracks. Steve (my mate) got some shampoo out of his locker to scrub her fanny with, not sure why as if she had a dose it wasn't exactly gonna help and there was shampoo foam everywhere. Anyway, i positioned myself at her head and went for the safer BJ option and Steve was stood on the windowsill ready to pounce on her like some randy superhero when the guard burst into the room after some cunt had snitched on us ,(it was against barrack rules to have females in the block.) The guard just burst out laughing at the scene which greeted them, got fined 500 quid for that and a regimental entry.

 

 

Dare I ask...

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Dare I ask...

 

Hahaha. I should have explained. When you are put on orders and disciplined, anything which is deemed serious results in a regimental entry. These are logged in the UK on your records and affect your overall grading when leaving the Army or your chances of promotion. Not 100% sure but i think it has to be a fine which exceeds 7 days pay, 7 or more days of restriction of privileges or 7 days or more prison. We were lucky in the fact we didn't get bust (loss of rank) for it and we both didn't give a fuck about getting higher than our rank of corporal or what the grades in our red books said as they are of little use when finding employment in Germany.

[Bjornebye]

a lad i used to work with once told me about the time he got home (still living with his parents) absolutely smashed and rang a bird he had been into for ages, basically told her he loved her down the phone etc and she hung up on him so he went to his room, put his stereo on and it was still loud as fuck from earlier but coz he was pissed he just took his jeans off, lay on his bed , shut his eyes and proceeded to have the most furious wank ever to the prodigy... only to come to his senses when his maa turned the cd player off - above his head.

had me in bits that did. nice lad as well, totally out wouldn't expect it from him.

[acks]

a lad i used to work with once told me about the time he got home (still living with his parents) absolutely smashed and rang a bird he had been into for ages, basically told her he loved her down the phone etc and she hung up on him so he went to his room, put his stereo on and it was still loud as fuck from earlier but coz he was pissed he just took his jeans off, lay on his bed , shut his eyes and proceeded to have the most furious wank ever to the prodigy... only to come to his senses when his maa turned the cd player off - above his head.

had me in bits that did. nice lad as well, totally out wouldn't expect it from him.

 

:lol:

[Nasty Lizard]

A mate of mine (Dave Bates by name, Masturbates by nature we used to say) swears he was cracking one off once with his headphones on, and eyes shut for concentration.

 

As he finished he opened his eyes to find a steaming cup of tea on his bedside table.

[Red_or_Dead]

Never been caught doing the deed, but when I was studying in Buffalo I had to share a room with three Korean frat boys and one night they had been to Toronto (to get pissed as they were all under 21) and had some mates staying over. The proceeded to come in at 4am, leathered and therefore waking me up.

 

Whether this was some frat thing or not but all six of them started to crack one off; that sound will haunt me forever.

 

Needless to say I was straight onto the Residence Assistant in the morning to get moved - thankfully I was by the end of the week.

[VladimirIlyich]

[YOUTUBE]lto2Z8HC2Xo&feature=relmfu[/YOUTUBE]

 

From 3min50sec to 4min 40sec.