January 2025 Transfer Thread

[Binomial]

Is this thread dedicated to other clubs, because we sure as shit aint doing nothing in Jan......not with mongs like Hughes still at the club. 

 

 

[Josef Svejk]

Chiesa will be good to go in January. Like a new signing.

[Colonel Bumcunt]

9 hours ago, 3 Stacks said:

It's a small sample, but he is the most clinical player in the league, by a large amount.

Yeah but he's a level below Haaland and the likes, it's a risk, but there's a load of players out there with the same profile (sub £50m strikers with flaky records). 

I'd throw Muniz at Fulham into that equation, I think he's a fucking menace in the box and he gambles on things all the time. 

 

Duran looks decent, but will he look decent once we've paid £50m him and he's scored 5 in 17 games? 

[joe_fishfish]

We’d need to spend more than £50m to get Durán, he’s likely just on a hot streak of finishing that he won’t sustain, and he’s a dickhead off the pitch as well. 
 

Would be a massive upgrade on Nunez but we could do better.

[Barrington Womble]

We're not buying a forward in January regardless of who he is. 

[Colonel Bumcunt]

9 hours ago, George Costanza said:

You lot are dreaming if you think the owners will dip into the profits

 

Don't think they need to, we have two strikers in Nunez and Gakpo capable of recouping £100m combined.  

 

I'm still annoyed about Nunez, I think he's still the obvious answer to the problem. I think he's been poorly managed/developed. 

 

There's a kid desperate to be loved and would fight for everything, and he's one of very few strikers out there who can match Haaland for strength, pace, height, and we're instead choosing to go with a Portuguese pygmy in the 9 position. 

 

I'd actually sell Jota before I sold Nunez. Age profile, ability ceiling, physical attributes, injury record, it all favours retaining Nunez. 

 

I think there's an element of Jota that's a bit of a myth. He's been in the PL for 6 seasons and in 4 of those he's bagged single figures. Never more than 15 league goals. 

 

Or is the answer to our problems a new Bobby Firmino? A low-scoring creative player with intelligent movement and some hold-up ability.   We hoped it was Gakpo but it's clearly not. 

 

Brian Brobbey at Ajax looks promising as a more physical hold-up man with goals and pace. 

 

 

[Bobby Hundreds]

We need a threat infront of goal. Salah is our only threat and he's nearing the end of his career and when he's off it jesus that was as bad a game as I've seen from any player! some  real weekend at Bernies shit someone played The Cheeky song  and Salahs corpse matched the quality. Gakpo has the killer instinct of a care bear, Nunez is a cross eyed storm trooper, Jota has more shit games than good ones and the other half of them he's injured. You look around the football world and think christ are there any good footballers anymore. Apart from the Norwegian Yeti does anybody know how to strike a ball consistently. 

 

Fragile bones Jones just isn't ever going to be a player of real value too us. Dominic Szobozlai should just be Sky's player cam camera man. Elliot will end is career at Liverpool with 700 appearances and a 15 second highlight real. Tsimikas is getting a handmade saddle for a fucking Galapagos Tortoise so he can get around quicker. Time is catching up too Robbo so much he's passing the fucking ball to it and Trent is playing football like he set his game of Fifa to match a real life 45 minutes each way and got bored as fuck 8 minutes in. Then there's Slot yesterday his solution to put out a fire would be to spray it with Lynx Africa. 

 

Cathartic. I'll be gums to plums after our next win but fuck them they deserve a bit of crap after that lacking display just as they deserve plaudits for when they look like proffesional footballers.

[El Dangerous]

Sort out the contracts and sign a midfielder. Then we can go full steam ahead with selling Nunez for spares and repairs, replacing him with Sesko and getting a left back and centre back in the summer.

[Bobby Hundreds]

Sell Gakpo too he's like bringing a bath sponge to a knife fight.

[Colonel Bumcunt]

I've felt, as have many of us, that our attack hasn't functioned effectively since the sale of Mane and Bobby. 

That's no revelation, sure. 

 

Klopp left a lot of good things for Slot to inherit, but he also left a shitty contract situation and an unfinished forward line.  It almost feels abandoned as opposed to unfinished. Klopp seemed to give up on Nunez and Gakpo to a large degree in the end, and there was also an understanding that Gordon and Doak would have featured quite a bit had it not been for injury.  

 

It's as if Klopp was building a LEGO Star Wars AT-AT (the big four legged walking gun ship) and he was dead proud of the work he'd done on it but his building instructions were all in his head and then he dropped it and the pieces broke off and he said "fuck it, I'm going anyway".  Then he quickly put it back together as those shit two-legged versions that the Ewoks brought down with vines and blow darts. 

 

We paid a lot of money for Darwin.  It's fair to say he was a central cog to our planned forward line, he was someone's (presumably Klopp's) preference. We can only presume he was bought to play in a front 3, as the number 9, and we can only presume that we bought others to compliment him.  

But fuck me, it's difficult to piece that puzzle together, I don't see it.  How the fuck does Gakpo fit into that? How does Jota fit into that? Also, where is the winger that whips balls in to supply him? It's not Salah's game and it's not really Diaz's game, neither get to the byline. 

 

And to cap this mess off, Slot comes in and we keep all of them and bring in Chiesa. 

Just when we needed to make sense of the pile of Star Wars LEGO-set left on the floor, he goes and buys a Back to the Future Delorean LEGO set and empties it on top. 

 

Ok, ok, let's not panic.  Star Wars, futuristic machine, yes, and the Delorean, it's from the future I guess, you sit in them both, they're vehicles, hmm, ok, can we use the Delorean as the head of the AT-AT maybe?   Fucks sake, stick it all back in the box and leave it till tomorrow. 

 

 

[El Dangerous]

It’ll be Openda or Sesko if we can get rid of Nunez. Maybe not Openda now that we’ve bought Chiesa. Might be priced out of Sesko if he has a big season. Duran will definitely be attainable given they were trying to sell him in the summer and he was open to it but he seems a bit of a dick and will probably go to Chelsea for a similar fee to some players they sell to Villa. He’s definitely an interesting prospect and he can twat a ball as good as anyone.

[Pidge]

Boniface.

 

Edit: sorry I meant to say Boniface (and Wirtz)

[cloggypop]

On 15/09/2024 at 10:05, Colonel Bumcunt said:

Brian Brobbey at Ajax

 

Nah

[Code]

On 11/09/2024 at 19:28, Pidge said:

Reina was done as far as we were concerned, he needed a change as much as we did. Mignolet was a reasonable gamble on a replacement (even if you'd think the distribution issue should have been noticed beforehand, even back then).

 

The idea that move was a cost-cutting measure doesn't hold water imo. He wasn't good enough in the long run, but he wasn't a bad keeper, so much as a bit of a shithouse with terrible distribution.

What a load of shite. 
 

Reina was one of our best players in his last season. 
 

Mignolet was one of the worst keepers I have ever seen, his positioning was just shocking.

 

Could make a few good reflex saves from close range, but conceded as many long range shots his first season as Reina din his whole career with us. 
 

Fuckin abysmal keeper. 

[Pidge]

We were shite in his last season.

[Section_31]

These transfer threads remind me of the conversations I had as a kid with my grandad about winning the pools. "I'll take us all on the QE2" etc.

 

Talking about who we should get and who our ideal player is for x position belongs in transfer threads of yesteryear. We'll get our third or fourth choice if we're lucky. We're poor kids at Christmas.

[joe_fishfish]

Hope we go nowhere near Sesko, his first touch is shite.

[Binomial]

Go all out for Musiala.

 

Then a week later go all out for Alan Varela.

 

If you want the club to return back to winning the big trophies, these are the types of moves you make without fucking about.

[Section_31]

[Harry Squatter]

Chelsea will probably sign another 27 players in January on 12 year contracts.

[Scott_M]

A very predictable story to re-hash…

 

I’m in 2 minds. Part of me thinks he can fuck off. The other part of me thinks I’d still like an extra quality player in the midfield area. 

 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Uncropped neg.

 

Good battery though, well done.

[Numero Veinticinco]

Indy Cuntia is a liar. It’s entirely fabricated lies. 

[Megadrive Man]

Zubimendi gives me Josemi vibes.

[Lee909]

16 minutes ago, Megadrive Man said:

Zubimendi gives me Josemi vibes.

 

 

He will be dancing round the pitch in Munich in May with a Spain flag around him while we lift the Champions League?

 

Get him in