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Premier League Round Up (May 22 2022)


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Given the situation we were in and the drama and emotion of it all, I didn’t even catch up on most of the other results until the day after. I wasn’t looking forward to Match of the Day because I knew I’d have to skip through our game and City’s game due to them doing that thing where they show both at the same time so you can see “how it unfolded” Fuck. That.

 

Other than what happened with us, it was a decent enough final day in which most results went the way I’d want them to. In fact, if Aston Villa weren’t so…. well, Aston Villa… this would have been the absolutely perfect day. No top four for Arsenal, Leeds saved themselves (I’m glad, most of you probably aren’t!), Everton got battered, United lost yet again. The only slight blemish was West Ham didn’t win and push the Mancs down into the Europa Conference where they deserve to be. How have they finished above West Ham? That European run really torpedoed the Hammers' league campaign didn’t it?

 

I’ll start at the bottom with Burnley and Leeds. I strongly fancied Burnley to stay up because they were at home to Newcastle while Leeds had to travel to Brentford. Newcastle had nothing to play for, whereas Brentford were looking for payback on Leeds because of a video that circulated after Leeds beat them in the playoffs a couple of years ago. 

 

The Leeds players were singing about Thomas Frank and Brentford had been waiting for their chance at payback. My boy Ivan Toney tweeted it out a few weeks ago so you know Brentford were relishing the chance to put Leeds back in the Championship. So yeah, advantage Burnley I thought.

 

Leeds had a kid making his debut in midfield and Gelhardt leading the line as my boy Bamford was still not ready to return. I didn’t like their chances of beating Brentford at all so fair play to them. It wouldn’t have mattered what Leeds did if Burnley had won though, but they shit the bed completely.

 

The first goal they gave away was unbelievable. Nathan Collins just punched the ball off the head of a Newcastle player. Not one of those, hand above the head inadvertent handballs either. He deliberately did it. It was like watching a kids game when the ball comes within range of the hand and they can’t help but instinctively reach out and touch it. Wilson buried the pen and Burnley never really recovered.

 

Burnley got relegated because Ben Mee got injured. It’s that simple I think. If he’d been available during the run in they’d have been fine. That Collins is terrible, I have no idea where they found him but they should send him back there. Unless it was the Championship, in which he’s headed back there anyway.

 

As this was happening, Leeds thought they’d taken the lead with a smart finish by Gelhardt. He had just strayed offside though. They did eventually go ahead when Raphinha won and converted a pen.

 

Things got worse for Burnley as Wilson added a second to make it 2-0 but Cornet pulled one back to give them hope and when Sergi Canos brilliantly headed Brentford level with 12 minutes to go it was game on. Especially as Canos was booked for taking his shirt off and then picked up another one minutes later for a foul. That’s why if I was a manager I’d fine any player who takes off their shirt unless it’s right at the end of the game. It's fucking stupid and serves no purpose.

 

The situation was on a knife edge now and Weghorst was inches away from scoring the goal that - at that moment at least - would have saved Burnley. Cork had an effort cleared off the line too as the Clarets threw the kitchen sink at Newcastle.

 

A goal then would have been enough, but then Harrison won it for Leeds with a deflected shot that found the bottom corner, sparking wild scenes of celebration in the away end. Bye bye Burnley then.

 

You know what always shocks me? Hearing Ashley Barnes talk in his southern accent. He’s got Burnley stamped through him like a stick of rock and I always expect a Lancashire accent when he speaks. Then he’s all “yeah up the apples and pairs, guv’nor”. Freaks me out. 

 

 

This is just a teaser, click here to view the full article

 

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  • dave u pinned this topic

True enough re the enjoyment aspect, Dave.

 

There's a Guardian article on each of the seasons under Jurgen's reign here on their website at the moment which mentions in passing that for sheer joy some fans might choose as their favourite the season that ended in Kiev despite no trophies being won.

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For your more mature readers, this wouldn't be the worst United team in living memory. That would be the team that got relegated in the early 70s. I was studying in Manchester and went to Old Trafford a few times and they were awful, even getting beaten 4-1 by Spurs. Needless to say, when they played us they gave it everything, on and off the pitch and won 2-0. I was happy to get out of the ground in one piece. Happily, they did finally get relegated.

I reckon United now are like we were in the early 90s; awful but getting more points than they deserved because people are playing the shirt, rather than the rubbish that's wearing it.

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A funny and truthful end to the season with a nice mention for Mum, you only get one.

Shame about the cunts eleven as there's a few missing but most probably not considered as they're waiting on court appearances.

The shite? Everything written is so true. Horrible small time cunts with no purpose in life and even though they don't watch champions league I'm guessing by 8.15 tomorrow it will be switched over to Grand Designs.

I am only optimistic about this team. 

Bringing it home again. 

 

 

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17 hours ago, Frank Dacey said:

For your more mature readers, this wouldn't be the worst United team in living memory. That would be the team that got relegated in the early 70s. I was studying in Manchester and went to Old Trafford a few times and they were awful, even getting beaten 4-1 by Spurs. Needless to say, when they played us they gave it everything, on and off the pitch and won 2-0. I was happy to get out of the ground in one piece. Happily, they did finally get relegated.

I reckon United now are like we were in the early 90s; awful but getting more points than they deserved because people are playing the shirt, rather than the rubbish that's wearing it.

 

They'd beat this United team. Even now, with half of them dead or picking up their pension.

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Excellent Dave. You know what annoys me about Everton (well that would take all day so, one thing), they completely failed to try at Arsenal. If spurs had needed them to be honest, they had no intention of being so. Imagine their hate fuelled angry shitty scowling angry corruption letters if they’d needed another team to get a result and that team, say us (please one day) instead just fuck about. Absolute entitled twats. 

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If we write off last season as the anomaly it was, then for the last 3/4 years it’s just been an absolute fucking joy being a red. For most of my life we’d have the occasional cup, the even more occasional second placed finish, and the glory of Istanbul to remind me of how good football can be. Now I’m reminded every fucking week how good it can be, supporting this team is an absolute privilege and whether we twat Madrid in Paris or not, just about every week since August has delivered yet another ridiculous moment from this team to smile about. Personal highlight for me was watching Nat Phillips taking the piss in the San Siro. 

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22 minutes ago, bossy said:

Excellent Dave. You know what annoys me about Everton (well that would take all day so, one thing), they completely failed to try at Arsenal. If spurs had needed them to be honest, they had no intention of being so. Imagine their hate fuelled angry shitty scowling angry corruption letters if they’d needed another team to get a result and that team, say us (please one day) instead just fuck about. Absolute entitled twats. 

 

That's a good point. Lampard's interview afterwards was shameless too.

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3 hours ago, Manjo said:

If we write off last season as the anomaly it was, then for the last 3/4 years it’s just been an absolute fucking joy being a red. For most of my life we’d have the occasional cup, the even more occasional second placed finish, and the glory of Istanbul to remind me of how good football can be. Now I’m reminded every fucking week how good it can be, supporting this team is an absolute privilege and whether we twat Madrid in Paris or not, just about every week since August has delivered yet another ridiculous moment from this team to smile about. Personal highlight for me was watching Nat Phillips taking the piss in the San Siro. 

I know the whole covid/no fans in stadiums etc. was a bollox and 20/21 was artificial, it wasn't the whole season that was a nightmare results wise for this team. We were top after 14 games and won 26 points in the final 10 games. It was just the 14 games in the middle where we just picked up 12 points that was the anomaly, results wise for this team across the past 5 season, 4 in the league

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3 hours ago, dave u said:

If I've missed out any glaring contenders in the Twats of the Season XI feel free to nominate them.

I’ve checked and you’ve only mentioned Richarlison once, a twat like that needs at least three positions on the team all by himself.

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What a season we've had you're right Dave it's been a hell of a ride and as I write this we've still got tonight left .

Loved the little tribute to your Mum that was a really nice touch. 

In a season of brilliant round ups this one was superb and I'm going to miss them over the summer , anyway keep up the great work on the site hopefully we pick up No 7 tonight and next season is just as good .

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