Premier League Round Up (Apr 30 - May 2 2022)

[tlw content]

It’s been a while since I did one of these as personal circumstances didn’t allow it, but loads has happened at the top and bottom of the league since the last one. The most significant development was Everton finally dropping into the bottom three after flirting with it for months.

 

I’ll start with that actually. This might be the first time ever that I’ve led one of these round ups with a Burnley game but it seems fitting as they’ve been on an absolute rampage since they sacked Dyche. I’ll be honest and say I thought that was a terrible move and that they were essentially surrendering their Premier League spot and getting Everton out of jail. I was wrong.

 

I’ve been watching Burnley games quite closely of late and I’ve unashamedly become a bit of a Clarets fan, because needs must. If they can send Everton down I’ll be forever grateful. That dramatic win over Watford felt like a pivotal moment until Chelsea shit the bed 24 hours later at Goodison.

 

Still, the importance of this Burnley win could still be massive. Especially given the drama of it. They fell behind early at Watford and it stayed that way until very late, when goals in quick succession by Cork and Brownhill gave them the win and relegated the Hornets.

 

I hope we don’t see Watford again for a while. I have nothing specific against them but I’m just utterly bored of them and their yo-yo shite. Same with Norwich, who have been up and down more times than a fiddler’s elbow. Don’t come back any time soon, you pointless bastards.

 

Burnley have taken 10 points from 12 since Mike Jackson took over. I’d never heard of the fella and given how Dyche has pulled them out of this situation several times before it just seemed like a stupid, panic move. 

 

The only caveat I had to that view was if maybe Dyche had lost the players, but there hadn’t been any reports of that and usually in that situation there are leaks in the press every other day. Maybe we didn’t hear about it because no-one gives a shit about Burnley so the press don’t ever write about them? Or maybe it’s because the players are solid pros and not spoiled whiny cunts like at Man United for example.

 

It kind of feels like Dyche must have lost the dressing room though. Maybe not in the sense that they hated him, but it does seem that they’d stopped listening to him because they actually look like Burnley again now. So if they stay up the owners get a massive pat on the back, as does Jackson. 

 

Shit, if he relegates Everton I won’t even object if someone wants to build a statue of him outside Anfield. It wouldn’t be the first Mike Jackson statue at a Premier League ground. Remember when Fulham unveiled that Whacko Jacko one at Craven Cottage? Is that still there? How mad was that though, fucking hell. I had to google that just now to make sure it really happened and it wasn’t some weird dream.

 

But yeah, if Mike Jackson is responsible for relegating Everton then a statue is the least he deserves. Can’t be doing with the shit puns though. MOTD’s commentator said after this game that “Mike Jackson has served up a Thriller”. Fucks sake, that’s Bad.

 

MJ was asked what he’d done to turn things around and he said “we just reminded these lads of who they are”. So you could say he told them that it starts with….. the man in the mirror. What? Oh fuck off, that’s gold that is.

 

Burnley have been amazing of late though. They lost at Norwich and it looked like they were fucked, but the spirit they’ve shown since has been great, but it’s not just that. Whisper it, but they’ve played some pretty good footy. It’s not all long balls and set-pieces, they’ve put some nice passing moves together and they look a totally different side to what they’ve been all season.

 

 

This is just a teaser, click here to view the full article

 

Please note that PL Round Ups are only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £3 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. 

[Chris]

Great to have these back.

[alles ist gut]

Top, top fat bald Tory twat analysis there, Dave.

[rb14]

2 hours ago, tlw content said:

I feel kind of bad for Trossard as it can’t be easy looking like that fucking scumbag.

He is drop dead fucking gorgeous and you know it you big fucking fanny. Meganegged.

[Chris]

1 hour ago, rb14 said:

He is drop dead fucking gorgeous and you know it you big fucking fanny. Meganegged.

 

Nigel FaROG'

[Tarwater]

Regrettable lack of jabronis and losers in the report.

[Rushies tash]

It's 'in and out like a fiddler's elbow'. I think the expression you were after was 'up and down like a tart's knickers'. 

[Through Ball]

Dwight McNeil is currently on 0 goals and 1 assist in 34 league games this season.

 

Dwight Downing

[dave u]

FYI

 

Diary will be back this week too.

[Jimmy Hills Chin]

17 minutes ago, dave u said:

FYI

 

Diary will be back this week too.

No idea what you’re gonna find to write about like.

[KMD7]

1 hour ago, dave u said:

FYI

 

Diary will be back this week too.

 

[Anubis]

Top Everton hatred.

[Frank Dacey]

Great to have the round-up back. I stuck out the first half of the Everton v Chelsea game and then switched off, raging at Chelsea's ineptitiude, Everton's antics and the fact that Kevin Friend was allowing them to get away with everything, after Attwell did the same in the derby. Let's hope they get a firm ref this weekend. I hope the refs will be after Lampard after his FA charge. I couldn't help thinking how the Chelsea teams of the past, the likes of Drogba, Costa and Terry would have reacted to Everton's tactics, very differently I expect.

Reading some Brentford forums it seems there was trouble before and after the game with Bees fans being abused and attacked. As classy as ever at United.

[m0e]

Fantastic read, and a very welcome return

[Bobby Hundreds]

The refereeing in Evertons last 2 games has been a disgrace. No club deserves relegation more, the fact they may cheat and play act their way out of relegation alongside breaking FFP rules while Burnley and Leeds have not only followed the rules but actually played football brings shame on the Premier league.

[lifetime fan]

“I want them relegated so much now that it’s constantly in my thoughts. It’s not even because of the fans either. It’s Lampard and the players. I fucking can’t stand the cunt and some of those players are among the biggest shitbags in the entire league. Pickford, Richarlison, Mina, Gordon, Coleman, Allan, Calvert-Lewin, Gomes… 

 

Fucking hell, Sigurdsson doesn’t even make the list and he’s an actual nonce”. 
 

 

Proper belly laugh that.