Newcastle 0 Liverpool 1 (Apr 30 2022)

[tlw content]

 

 

 

Report by

Dave Usher

 

That was a lot easier than 1-0 makes it seem. Deluded Newcastle fans might kid themselves that this shows their progress and that they’re on the right track to competing with us, but this was an absolute hammering in everything but scoreline.

 

I actually saw one of their owners tweeting that it shows how far they’re come that they’re disappointing at not beating Liverpool. No, it shows just how fucking deluded some of you are up there.

 

Eddie Howe has done really well, there’s no denying that, but it’s just pure Newcastle that all of a sudden they’re bouncing around, dicks swinging after beating half a dozen similarly poor sides. Pipe down knobheads. You haven’t won anything in my lifetime and I’m 50 next year. 

 

This was billed as a tough game for us and I kind of agreed, but only because it was a 12.30 kick off away from home. If we were playing at the Dog & Duck at that time I’d still be thinking it will be a close scoreline because we just don’t do that well in this time slot. I wasn’t at all worried about Newcastle, despite their revival under Howe. 

 

Just look at their team. Most of them are shite and the ones that aren’t are decent at best. That Bruno fella is the one notable exception and because of the sportswashing they’ll add more like him over the next few years. For now though there was absolutely nothing there that could hurt us, especially given the way we surrounded Saint-Maximin every time he got the ball.

 

I like him a lot but he was so bad in this game I was embarrassed for him. Did he pass the ball at all? It felt like every time he got it he just tried to take our whole team on. He was like the annoying greedy bastard kid in school who thought he was way better than he actually was. We just kept taking it off him over and over again but he didn’t learn and kept doing it.

 

The thing is, we’re just so good that for most opponents there really isn’t any way of successfully playing against us when we’re in the mood. When we’re pressing and chasing people down with the intensity we are at the moment, virtually nobody can handle it. Certainly not Newcastle.

 

 

This is just a teaser, click here to view the full article

 

Please note that Match Reports are only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £3 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. 

[alles ist gut]

Top, top Egil Olsen analysis there, Dave.

[m0e]

Klopp said he would have rested Robbo for this but didn't want to make 3 changes to the back line as well as 2 in midfield.

 

I thought Hendo was excellent in the 6, and I think he'll feature a lot more there in the next few seasons.

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Luis Diaz is so good, he even gets onto his own flickons.

[Pete]

Great report.  Go fuck yourselves you journalist murdering bunch off cunts. 

[sir roger]

51 minutes ago, Pete said:

Great report.  Go fuck yourselves you journalist murdering bunch off cunts. 

Bit harsh on Dave, Pete

[Pete]

23 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Bit harsh on Dave, Pete

Yeah. Suppose so. 
These Cunts are gonna be unbearable on the next few years. My mate is already giving it the we’re fucking rich shite.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Given already on or after a job on the Saudi payroll the ugly cunt.

[Supremolad]

Brilliant work, Dave.

 

You're right about Diaz. Hopefully he would eventually add more goals to his game. He can be a little too predictable with his finishing when he gets in those one on one situations with defenders on the left flank. Cutting in and shooting the way he does usually results in either a block or the keeper making a save. A bit more finesse required.

 

That said, Diaz, Mane and Salah would still be my most preferred front 3 for most of the remaining games.

[tokyojoe]

Great Joe Linton analysis there Dave. 

[dave u]

11 hours ago, tokyojoe said:

Great Joe Linton analysis there Dave. 

 

He should be playing for Everton as he's a perfect fit.

[DalyanPete]

43 minutes ago, dave u said:

 

He should be playing for Everton as he's a perfect fit.

Bit harsh on Joey like.

[DalyanPete]

Although this result was never in doubt before or during there's just a nagging feeling that Johnny boggles shelvey will hit a screamer and he could against the heavily sponsored cheats.

[sir roger]

14 hours ago, tokyojoe said:

Great Joe Linton analysis there Dave. 

I hadn't noticed he was an Angry Head previously, but he came across as a complete tool.