Drunk purchases

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, A Red said:

Why doesn't it surprise you?

Because it doesn't. I read it, and I wasn't surprised. 

[A Red]

3 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Because it doesn't. I read it, and I wasn't surprised. 

Good lad.

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, A Red said:

Good lad.

I know. 

[Red_or_Dead]

I shagged a Tory once.  Fucking hell, the things you do when you're desperate.  She had a stubbly fanny, so at least I know what it's like to get off with Clint Eastwood.

 

@Captain Willard Nice passive aggressiveness with @Jennings question - another humble brag.  Either you spent shitloads on those three items, or you didn't.  As Gradgrind would say, facts!  Monetary amount please.

 

And finally, if it DID happen, then all you need to do is turn up for the dog walk with a bag full of laxative chocolates in a dog treat bag.  But, that's not going to happen as you're a bit of a Walter Mitty.

 

 

[No2]

Cunt.

[Bjornebye]

6 minutes ago, Red_or_Dead said:

I shagged a Tory once.  Fucking hell, the things you do when you're desperate. 

 

 

 

[Tony Moanero]

32 minutes ago, Red_or_Dead said:

I shagged a Tory once.  Fucking hell, the things you do when you're desperate.  She had a stubbly fanny, so at least I know what it's like to get off with Clint Eastwood.

 

@Captain Willard Nice passive aggressiveness with @Jennings question - another humble brag.  Either you spent shitloads on those three items, or you didn't.  As Gradgrind would say, facts!  Monetary amount please.

 

And finally, if it DID happen, then all you need to do is turn up for the dog walk with a bag full of laxative chocolates in a dog treat bag.  But, that's not going to happen as you're a bit of a Walter Mitty.

 

 

Negged. It’s not the dog’s fault its owners are cunts.

[Red_or_Dead]

24 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

 

 

Sadly not.

 

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Negged. It’s not the dog’s fault its owners are cunts.

As true as this is and it is true, I bet my bottom dollar that the dogs an entitled little cunt. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nah, I take that back, it was a rescue dog and it had definitely licked its own shit before it did this. Legend. 

[Red_or_Dead]

1 minute ago, Tony Moanero said:

Negged. It’s not the dogs fault its owners are cunts.

Bloody hell, as if this story is true.  I'll change my username to Dirk Kouma Animal Abuser.

 

[Bjornebye]

Just now, Red_or_Dead said:

Bloody hell, as if this story is true.  I'll change my username to Dirk Kouma Animal Abuser.

 

@Strontium has got that trademarked and you don't want to fuck with his lawyer. 

[Jennings]

@Captain Willard - I still wanna hear about what happens on the day. It's gonna be a good tale as a 'claim to fame' to use one day - especially if something basil Fawlty-esque was to happen during the walk.

 

Right, I am off to the bird amnesty thread to mention how I quite fancy Carrie.

 

[Dr Nowt]

13 minutes ago, Jennings said:

@Captain Willard - I still wanna hear about what happens on the day.

I have a sneaking suspicion obtaining those details won’t be like dragging the location of the final Moors murder victim out of Ian Brady, mate.

[Bjornebye]

Yep. No chance he gets a selfie with the dog. Maybe a bald shadow looking at it's shit or something like he posts on the brekkie thread. 

[Pureblood]

This Captain Blowhard cunt must be a made up character. 

[cloggypop]

Imagine paying money to pick up the shit of Alexander Boris De Pfeffel Johnson's dog. 

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, Tony Moanero said:

Negged. It’s not the dog’s fault its owners are cunts.

No but it could shit all over it's owners carpets and stink the place out. That would be a nice little victory.

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Pureblood said:

This Captain Blowhard cunt must be a made up character. 

 

 

[Evelyn Tentions]

On 18/03/2022 at 06:44, Captain Willard said:

I went to a Tory party fund raiser tonight with Mrs willlard, drank too much cheap white wine on an empty stomach  and ended up winning the auction to walk the PMs dog in St. James’s Park.
 

One day this war gonna end. 

Come on folks. We can do better than a mere 36 negs.

[Mike D]

[Elite]

This thread has gone down as well as Harold Shipman volunteering to give Covid vaccinations.

[Pureblood]

We definitely need some sort of GoPro footage of the dog walk to validate this fable.  I don't expect it to extend to him picking up the dog from Carrie in number 10, that would be unreasonable, but the walk itself should be documented in some capacity.   Maybe a group selfie in St. James's Park?  Woof!

[Carradona]

This is almost as embarrassing as the alternative rona thread.

[Pureblood]

37 minutes ago, Carradona said:

This is almost as embarrassing as the alternative rona thread.

[Mike D]

This thread and the breakfast posts.