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Chelsea (N) - League Cup Final, Sun 27th Feb 2022 (4:30pm)


Trumo
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And so onto the first domestic trophy of the season, and only the second time the two sides have met at this stage of the competition. The last one didn’t go so well, with a Stevie own goal, a lamed Dudek and Shitcoat shushing the Reds fans turning it into an afternoon to forget. Antonio Nunez actually scored for us in that game! From that team, Stevie is the only one that would get into the current first XI for sure, though from the squad, Xabi is a real possibility.

 

Apart from reaching the final in his first season at the club, it’s not a trophy Klopp has really looked to make a mark in. Games have been used to give squad players a run out and youth players some experience. The manager hasn’t had the resources to put out a second XI stronger than most clubs’ first XIs, unlike Guardiola and City who have dominated the competition in recent years. The club were even forced to field an under-18 line-up for a quarter final at Villa in 2019 because the first team squad were away in Qatar for the Club World Cup and had a game against Monterrey the following day. The EFL knew the Club World Cup is scheduled a week or so before Christmas so they could have easily adjusted the League Cup schedule. Instead they refused to budge and Liverpool were the ones (as usual) to have to take all the shite/bile/bantz [delete as appropriate] from elsewhere about disrespecting the competition and/or English football. Anyway:

 

Motivation. Invention. Luck. Know-how.

 

I don’t ask for much.

 

The last couple of times we’ve beaten the Russian clapping seal’s insurance policy, we’ve gone on to win the competition. The most recent was in 2011/12 when Maxi and Martin Kelly got the goals in a 2-0 win at Stamford Bridge just a couple of days after going and winning there in the league. Andre Villas-Boas was the Chelsea manager at the time (not for long), and this is the game where Lucas tore his ACL. He’d probably been in his best form for Liverpool in the month or two prior to this injury. His passing was crisper. His tackling was cleaner. His movement was quicker. He was like a slightly more physical Masch.

 

The previous win against this lot was in the 3rd round at Anfield in November 2000, so before they won the lottery. Murphy got the opener when he hit a low left-footed cross-shot that somehow squirmed under the Chelsea goalkeeper and into the far corner. Zola levelled shortly afterwards with a firm header unchallenged from six yards out past Arphexad, who was making his debut for the club in goal. He was one of those goalkeepers who always wore leggings instead of shorts. I think only the Hungarian Kiraly wore cheapo dirty grey Sports Direct joggers. Anyway, it remained 1-1 so the game entered extra time. Robbie Fowler used to score for fun in this competition, and he it was that bagged the winner with a precise left-footed finish from the edge of the area. The game ended with Heskey shown the red card after a foul that resulted in a bit of handbags. Still, we were through and would go on to claim a trophy treble and turn Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium into Anfield South for a few years.

 

 

The big box office smash in November 2000 was the flashy movie remake of the hit TV show Charlie’s Angels, directed by the twattishly named McG (remember him? He was even at the helm of one of the Terminator films!), with Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew Barrymore in the lead roles and Bill Murray as Bosley. It’s all style over substance and too full of itself to even give a nostalgic nod to its small screen predecessor. And it’s soundtracked by one of the worst “girl power” anthems ever - Destiny’s Child’s ‘Independent Women’. So you buy your own diamonds and your own rings? What do you want, a cookie? Buying your own jewellery just means you are into bling, not that you are some modern, independent woman. It’s such a shit song it offends me to even mention it.

 

 

Now that we’ve come this far in the competition, it’s time to go out and win it and claim Klopp’s maiden League Cup. Chelsea have a few players who miss loads of games but always play (and do quite well) against us. The Big Dunk effect. Tuchel also has them play very pragmatically so while they generally get results, they more often than not do so while being turgid to watch. That doesn’t matter though. What matters is that our players are ready and motivated to deliver the right level of application and mentality. We have the tools, so let’s go out there, grab our own bit of bling, and update the Champion’s Wall.

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1 hour ago, Trumo said:

And so onto the first domestic trophy of the season, and only the second time the two sides have met at this stage of the competition. The last one didn’t go so well, with a Stevie own goal, a lamed Dudek and Shitcoat shushing the Reds fans turning it into an afternoon to forget. Antonio Nunez actually scored for us in that game! From that team, Stevie is the only one that would get into the current first XI for sure, though from the squad, Xabi is a real possibility.

 

Apart from reaching the final in his first season at the club, it’s not a trophy Klopp has really looked to make a mark in. Games have been used to give squad players a run out and youth players some experience. The manager hasn’t had the resources to put out a second XI stronger than most clubs’ first XIs, unlike Guardiola and City who have dominated the competition in recent years. The club were even forced to field an under-18 line-up for a quarter final at Villa in 2019 because the first team squad were away in Qatar for the Club World Cup and had a game against Monterrey the following day. The EFL knew the Club World Cup is scheduled a week or so before Christmas so they could have easily adjusted the League Cup schedule. Instead they refused to budge and Liverpool were the ones (as usual) to have to take all the shite/bile/bantz [delete as appropriate] from elsewhere about disrespecting the competition and/or English football. Anyway:

 

Motivation. Invention. Luck. Know-how.

 

I don’t ask for much.

 

The last couple of times we’ve beaten the Russian clapping seal’s insurance policy, we’ve gone on to win the competition. The most recent was in 2011/12 when Maxi and Martin Kelly got the goals in a 2-0 win at Stamford Bridge just a couple of days after going and winning there in the league. Andre Villas-Boas was the Chelsea manager at the time (not for long), and this is the game where Lucas tore his ACL. He’d probably been in his best form for Liverpool in the month or two prior to this injury. His passing was crisper. His tackling was cleaner. His movement was quicker. He was like a slightly more physical Masch.

 

The previous win against this lot was in the 3rd round at Anfield in November 2000, so before they won the lottery. Murphy got the opener when he hit a low left-footed cross-shot that somehow squirmed under the Chelsea goalkeeper and into the far corner. Zola levelled shortly afterwards with a firm header unchallenged from six yards out past Arphexad, who was making his debut for the club in goal. He was one of those goalkeepers who always wore leggings instead of shorts. I think only the Hungarian Kiraly wore cheapo dirty grey Sports Direct joggers. Anyway, it remained 1-1 so the game entered extra time. Robbie Fowler used to score for fun in this competition, and he it was that bagged the winner with a precise left-footed finish from the edge of the area. The game ended with Heskey shown the red card after a foul that resulted in a bit of handbags. Still, we were through and would go on to claim a trophy treble and turn Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium into Anfield South for a few years.

 

 

The big box office smash in November 2000 was the flashy movie remake of the hit TV show Charlie’s Angels, directed by the twattishly named McG (remember him? He was even at the helm of one of the Terminator films!), with Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew Barrymore in the lead roles and Bill Murray as Bosley. It’s all style over substance and too full of itself to even give a nostalgic nod to its small screen predecessor. And it’s soundtracked by one of the worst “girl power” anthems ever - Destiny’s Child’s ‘Independent Women’. So you buy your own diamonds and your own rings? What do you want, a cookie? Buying your own jewellery just means you are into bling, not that you are some modern, independent woman. It’s such a shit song it offends me to even mention it.

 

 

Now that we’ve come this far in the competition, it’s time to go out and win it and claim Klopp’s maiden League Cup. Chelsea have a few players who miss loads of games but always play (and do quite well) against us. The Big Dunk effect. Tuchel also has them play very pragmatically so while they generally get results, they more often than not do so while being turgid to watch. That doesn’t matter though. What matters is that our players are ready and motivated to deliver the right level of application and mentality. We have the tools, so let’s go out there, grab our own bit of bling, and update the Champion’s Wall.

I've had to neg this for the completely unnecessary Destiny's Child diatribe.

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4 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

I hate playing these. Wasnt so bad when lampard was manager but these final winning gangster funded loan shystering twats can 1 nil you to death.

Yeah they dug in at Anfield after going down to 10 men. We didn't look like scoring after the sending off. 

 

Diaz and Thiago will run the show. 

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They have some good players but not as many as us, in my opinion. Hopefully Pulisic doesnt play because he's one of those twats who always seems to score against us.

 

On the day, we should be better than them. I honestly think if that game at Anfield early in the season was replayed now, they wouldnt have stopped us scoring again in the 2nd half even if they had 11 on the pitch. We werent in anything like the form we are now.

 

1st Wembley win for Jurgen please boys. Make it so!

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It's important to remember that the UK number 1 at the time of the above mentioned tie against the Russian cockneys was this double effort from prog rock group The Spice Girls. Not content with playing fairly from the comfort of their posh mansions, these zigazigaah cunts launched two for the price of one essentially guaranteeing yet another number 1 uk chart spot. Rumour has it that Holler was written by insipid ginger manc cunt and one time champion jockey Mick Hucknall in exchange for a picture of Mel B's chebs. His delight upon receiving his polaroid, he was met with the scary sight of Mel C's bee-stings and threatened to sue Simon Fuller whose baby was poorly at the time. Back in the 2000's Jimmy Saville was still strutting around in his sporty attire while the majority of the world pressed on blissfully unaware that not only had his thumb been up a million underage arses but Al Qaeda were planning an event that would change the air travel experience for all of us forever. 

 

 

 

 

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I fucking hate playing Chelsea. I always feel tense during the game, because I know they are capable of making the whole thing unwatchable and nullifying our good stuff: they are the anti-Leeds. They also have some of the most truly horrible cunt fans imaginable, so I get overly invested in beating them and ruining their day. 

 

Having said that, our squad right now, individually and collectively, is as good as any I've ever seen.

 

I've got a bad feeling that this will go to penalties, but then I remember Queef & Mo & Millie & Sadio & Fab and the thought doesn't scare me.

 

Whatever it takes, I just want to get the little three-handled freak back to its rightful home.

 

Just get these beat, Reds.

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