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Bjornebye

Christmas 2021

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I was in a tesco express last night about 9pm. It was about an hour before closing. The place was choker with last minute shoppers getting bits for Christmas day.

 

There was some fella in front of me with a turtle neck on, wool jacket, jeans and shoes, with slicked back hair. 

 

He was in front of me in the queue. Weirdly, he didn't have much in his basket, only a bottle of wine. He was clearly on his way to meet a lady. Next thing, out of nowhere and in front of a big queue of Christmas shoppers, he asks the fella behind the till if he can have a tube of the durex lube to go with his bottle of wine. The fella behind the till thought he asked for condoms and passed him those, before the fella had to tell him he wanted lube. The poor shop assistant didn't even know they sold the lube, so the shopper had to direct him to where it was, besides the batteries. Anyway, eventually the fella got his pink lube and wine and was on his way. Didn't even bat an eyelid on the way out. Walked out with the sort of confidence of a man who knew he was bumming someone later in the night.

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Hi everyone, just wanted to take a minute to wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy year, most of all good health! These days people don't spend much time or thought on some personal words to their friends and family, they just copy and paste some random message and send it on. So after all we've been though together this year I want to thank you for your friendship and wish you a happy and fulfilling 2018 - you’re the best gymnastics group anyone could ask for. Best wishes, Helen xxx

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22 minutes ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

Hi everyone, just wanted to take a minute to wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy year, most of all good health! These days people don't spend much time or thought on some personal words to their friends and family, they just copy and paste some random message and send it on. So after all we've been though together this year I want to thank you for your friendship and wish you a happy and fulfilling 2018 - you’re the best gymnastics group anyone could ask for. Best wishes, Helen xxx

What he said.

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Her family have just left. Can’t complain we had a really good day and I nailed the cooking. 
 

I just wanna be the lube fella (fuck the slick back hair off though) 

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1 hour ago, John102 said:

I was in a tesco express last night about 9pm. It was about an hour before closing. The place was choker with last minute shoppers getting bits for Christmas day.

 

There was some fella in front of me with a turtle neck on, wool jacket, jeans and shoes, with slicked back hair. 

 

He was in front of me in the queue. Weirdly, he didn't have much in his basket, only a bottle of wine. He was clearly on his way to meet a lady. Next thing, out of nowhere and in front of a big queue of Christmas shoppers, he asks the fella behind the till if he can have a tube of the durex lube to go with his bottle of wine. The fella behind the till thought he asked for condoms and passed him those, before the fella had to tell him he wanted lube. The poor shop assistant didn't even know they sold the lube, so the shopper had to direct him to where it was, besides the batteries. Anyway, eventually the fella got his pink lube and wine and was on his way. Didn't even bat an eyelid on the way out. Walked out with the sort of confidence of a man who knew he was bumming someone later in the night.

That bottle was probably going right up his arse.

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I had a perfect Christmas dinner, my lads are there wearing Christmas hats, playing together (and not killing each other); I've cracked open my lad's Talisker (which is smokey and delicious) and am polishing it off with some cheeses. Don't know if life gets any better than this. Merry Christmas everyone.

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3 hours ago, Anubis said:

Always wanted to try sake but hadn’t gotten round to it. Bought some of this to try. It’s okay, but does anyone have any recommendations as to what they think might be better?

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTJyuFa91tCrLeIyUCEWjN

Sake, Thunderbird, Vodka and Pholcodene linctus penicillin is a kick ass cocktail.

 

Seriously.

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7 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Sake, Thunderbird, Vodka and Pholcodene linctus penicillin is a kick ass cocktail.

 

Seriously.

This does not shock me. 

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4 hours ago, Anubis said:

Always wanted to try sake but hadn’t gotten round to it. Bought some of this to try. It’s okay, but does anyone have any recommendations as to what they think might be better?

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTJyuFa91tCrLeIyUCEWjN


24-hour-fosters-beer-delivery-service_c8

 

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52 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Went with goose for Christmas dinner this year. Really nice, had it with honey glazed parsnips, roasties, spiced sausage meat, various veg and cherry coke.

 

Going to hit the biscuits again now.

Goose is wonderful. Me and 'er had one between the two of us last Christmas.

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49 minutes ago, Vincent Vega said:

Jack Daniels Apple from my mam, and Vecchia Romagna from my boss. 
 

Never had the Apple JD before but it’s tasty, much nicer than the honey version. 

5231B96B-F3B1-4589-8CD1-2B6B37A960B5.jpeg

What's the Italian stuff?

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3 hours ago, John102 said:

I was in a tesco express last night about 9pm. It was about an hour before closing. The place was choker with last minute shoppers getting bits for Christmas day.

 

There was some fella in front of me with a turtle neck on, wool jacket, jeans and shoes, with slicked back hair. 

 

He was in front of me in the queue. Weirdly, he didn't have much in his basket, only a bottle of wine. He was clearly on his way to meet a lady. Next thing, out of nowhere and in front of a big queue of Christmas shoppers, he asks the fella behind the till if he can have a tube of the durex lube to go with his bottle of wine. The fella behind the till thought he asked for condoms and passed him those, before the fella had to tell him he wanted lube. The poor shop assistant didn't even know they sold the lube, so the shopper had to direct him to where it was, besides the batteries. Anyway, eventually the fella got his pink lube and wine and was on his way. Didn't even bat an eyelid on the way out. Walked out with the sort of confidence of a man who knew he was bumming someone later in the night.

You should have let on John , I've never met anybody from the forum.

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6 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:


24-hour-fosters-beer-delivery-service_c8

 


Fuck off with that sink estate smackhouse crap. You’ve been spending too much time on Amy’s Facebook page.

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12 hours ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

Hi everyone, just wanted to take a minute to wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy year, most of all good health! These days people don't spend much time or thought on some personal words to their friends and family, they just copy and paste some random message and send it on. So after all we've been though together this year I want to thank you for your friendship and wish you a happy and fulfilling 2018 - you’re the best gymnastics group anyone could ask for. Best wishes, Helen xxx

Lovely thoughts Helen. Looking to hook back up with you. Love watching you lick your own muff.take care hun.

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We went out to eat yesterday, first time I've gone out for Christmas dinner. It was fucking superb. Went to this place:

 

http://www.7stepspudsey.com/

 

£95 a head for 5 courses including roast celeriac volute,  crab & prawn, full monty main, xmas pudding and cheese & port. I ate more than I would have done at home. It's easy to when people just keep bringing more food and wine. No washing up, no fucked kitchen, no waste. 

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This gets better. Had a super dinner at HI's sister yesterday. I don't know what the covid rules are now (does anybody) but there were four households present. The hosts, me & HI, HI's mum and HI's brother and bints son (sound lad).

 

I'd pissed off to the pub but bint & wanker turned up later and had to sit in the garden. Same is happening today I have been told.

 

 

Get the fuck in!

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