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Christmas 2021


Bjornebye
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Just as a heads up to all the fellas out there- if your bird is a bit stuck and asks you what you'd like for Christmas, under no circumstances whatsoever- even as a joke- should you request Stripchat vouchers.

 

Especially, and I can't emphasise this enough, do not not answer, 'there's a couple of Russian lesbians I'd like to see do anal' when she inevitably and awkwardly asks you what the fuck you're on about.

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On 02/12/2021 at 15:30, Bjornebye said:

It's December now you miserable fucks. 

 

Let's embrace this one , like last year. The flu we expected to last 3 weeks is still all about us but that doesn't mean we can't still be happy. 

 

x

 

 

Started my shopping today, so I bust out my Festive As Fuck playlist for the occasion.

 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/12eQEOhCg5TyoySMf167Mv?si=Gsn2EqDrSPixXRkcWcWOWg&utm_source=copy-link

 

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10 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Has anyone seen the coca cola holidays are coming advert this year? I don't want to alarm anyone but I've just seen a coca cola xmas advert and it wasn't santa winking from the back of a lorry.... 

Where the Chinese lady comes for Christmas Dinner? It's shite if so.

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33 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Has anyone seen the coca cola holidays are coming advert this year? I don't want to alarm anyone but I've just seen a coca cola xmas advert and it was Santa wanking on the back of a lorry.... 

Don't let the kids see it. Traumatised kids at Christmas isn't something you want.

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2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Has anyone seen the coca cola holidays are coming advert this year? I don't want to alarm anyone but I've just seen a coca cola xmas advert and it wasn't santa winking from the back of a lorry.... 

Satan wanking from the back of a lorry?

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Can't understand why I need PCR test before flying home.

Everyone on the flight will be negative.

Why do I need a passenger locator form if everyone was negative.

Then another PCR test on day 2 to confirm, yea, everyone is negative.

Stop making my Christmas hard you cunts.

So looking forward to a "chippy tea".....and seeing family.

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58 minutes ago, DalyanPete said:

Can't understand why I need PCR test before flying home.

Everyone on the flight will be negative.

Why do I need a passenger locator form if everyone was negative.

Then another PCR test on day 2 to confirm, yea, everyone is negative.

Stop making my Christmas hard you cunts.

So looking forward to a "chippy tea".....and seeing family.

Wes Streeting (Labour weathervane) was saying "Why 48 hours? Why not much closer to the flight?"

 

Yeah, alright mate. Presumably you'll be organising and paying for all these tests, no? Anyone getting a PCR test will probably need to wait 24 hours for the results. People have flights in the morning (mine is at 7am before the airport testing centre is even open). My nearest testing centre is 30 minute drive away. Wes will be paying for the time off work, I guess. 

 

They won't even fucking check the results at the airport. 

 

The locator form is four pages long, do you think Tim at customs is going read it for every person arriving at the airport? 

 

No-one at the airports has any fucking idea what is going on. Understandably so, the rules change every 20 minutes. 

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15 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Wes Streeting (Labour weathervane) was saying "Why 48 hours? Why not much closer to the flight?"

 

Yeah, alright mate. Presumably you'll be organising and paying for all these tests, no? Anyone getting a PCR test will probably need to wait 24 hours for the results. People have flights in the morning (mine is at 7am before the airport testing centre is even open). My nearest testing centre is 30 minute drive away. Wes will be paying for the time off work, I guess. 

 

They won't even fucking check the results at the airport. 

 

The locator form is four pages long, do you think Tim at customs is going read it for every person arriving at the airport? 

 

No-one at the airports has any fucking idea what is going on. Understandably so, the rules change every 20 minutes. 

Isn't it just a ruse for private companies to screw the passengers? NHS tests dont count?

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21 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Isn't it just a ruse for private companies to screw the passengers? NHS tests dont count?

Yes, you can't use the NHS tests. Which I understand to some degree, it's our choice to travel. Although we are going to see family, not going on holiday.

 

However, the prices are ridiculous and as most of these companies are about a fortnight old, or have only moved in to this sector very recently, the ability to discern complete fucking con artists from the genuine is very difficult. The state of the website is often a reasonably helpful giveaway. Some of them look like they were designed by a child, in about 1998. 

 

It's the entire system though. I obviously understand that the situation is changing constantly, but as the scientists point out once people have noticed a new strain somewhere, it'll already be in your country. The horse is already in a tesco lasagne. So people travelling from countries which have a tenth of the daily case rates are jumping through hoops while people in the country they travel to aren't bothering to wear masks on the tube. I suppose it's the problem with having a government that only really has two aims. One, make lots of money for themselves and their friends. Two, do whatever appears to be politically expedient at the time regardless of whether it's actually a good idea or not.

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1 hour ago, DalyanPete said:

Can't understand why I need PCR test before flying home.

Everyone on the flight will be negative.

Why do I need a passenger locator form if everyone was negative.

Then another PCR test on day 2 to confirm, yea, everyone is negative.

Stop making my Christmas hard you cunts.

So looking forward to a "chippy tea".....and seeing family.

This surely has to be in the top 3 things whenever anyone ever goes home.

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Fucking hell a top three would be hard work.

 

It's needs a Tony thread - "Top ten things you miss about the UK when you're away".

 

- People speaking at a normal volume.

- Tea with fresh milk.

- Roasts.

- Fried Breakfast.

- Decent loafs of bread.

- Less detestable interactions with local government.

- Relatively low levels of glass and dog shit all over the pavements.

- Fewer "rules" regarding what and when you eat and drink.

- Valuing punctuality.

- The possibility of being punched in the face lowering the probability of people being a complete twat in public settings.

 

 

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2 hours ago, Jairzinho said:

Wes Streeting (Labour weathervane) was saying "Why 48 hours? Why not much closer to the flight?"

 

Yeah, alright mate. Presumably you'll be organising and paying for all these tests, no? Anyone getting a PCR test will probably need to wait 24 hours for the results. People have flights in the morning (mine is at 7am before the airport testing centre is even open). My nearest testing centre is 30 minute drive away. Wes will be paying for the time off work, I guess. 

 

They won't even fucking check the results at the airport. 

 

The locator form is four pages long, do you think Tim at customs is going read it for every person arriving at the airport? 

 

No-one at the airports has any fucking idea what is going on. Understandably so, the rules change every 20 minutes. 

All so very true sadly.

 

I'm not getting stressed about it yet.

Told my missus it changes so often we may still end up not going home.

 

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