Featured: That was the week that was (Nov 7-12 2021)

[tlw content]

 

Monday Nov 8:

 

Villa sacked Dean Smith and Stevie is their number one target to replace him apparently. This was mentioned in the group chat and John G immediately sneered “He should tell them to fuck off and then sing Happy Birthday”. I don’t have anything to add to that, he’s fucking nailed it. Birthday party on trains having fucking losers. They don't deserve Steven Gerrard, the unfunny banter merchant wankers.

 

 

Meanwhile, Adrianna told me today that a lad in her school has just started supporting Wigan. She asked him why, and he said (no word of a lie) “supporting Everton is too depressing so I’m going to support Wigan”. I mean, Wigan have almost gone out of business more than once, they’re in League One with very little prospect of ever scaling the ‘heights’ they did not so long ago but they’re still less depressing to follow than Everton. They've also won a trophy more recently too.

 

This kid was a proper blue as well. He went to games, had an Everton pencil case for school, wore the kit on own clothes days, the works. And now he fucking hates them because they made him miserable. He was  even arguing with one of his mates at the weekend because he said he wanted them to lose to Spurs. As Elton once famously sang, I guess that’s why they call them the Blues.

 

Kevin Phillips reckons Fulham’s teenage star Fabio Carvalho could end up following Harvey Elliott to Anfield. He’s not signed a new deal with Fulham and loads of top clubs are sniffing around. I’ve never seen him play but I’m all in on signing wonderkids so get it done. It makes sense to do this kind of deal now because it helps solve the problem of the front three getting old together.

 

In theory, if Kaide Gordon and Carvalho panned out and become top players, it wouldn’t matter if we kept Sadio, Bobby and Mo until they were older because we’d have the ready made replacements and wouldn’t need to spend a fortune. I’d probably sign one of these potential stars every season, because even if only one in five pans out that’s going to be great value. 

 

 

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[suzy]

That kid supporting Wigan instead of Everton is hilarious.

[alles ist gut]

Top, top Final Destination analysis there, Dave.

[Turkish Delight]

The parents of the kid at the academy are a disgrace in my opinion. If you see the videos of him doing gymnastics at the age of 2 and the photos of him with a six pack that have done the rounds in the past then you can only imagine what he's put through at home.

 

My son has played against him a few times and while he's talented I've seen him play against a number of kids who are better too. He's exceptionally small for his age and most likely because the workouts he's forced to do have took an effect on his growth. Kids should just be allowed to be kids.

[Josef Svejk]

Evra is the master of the deluded "I would have battered him, but..." story. This one's even less believable:

 

 

"We won away at West Brom in the first game after Olympiacos, but then we lost 3-0 at home to Liverpool, a disastrous result. David called a meeting of the defenders the following day. Nemanja Vidic was coming back from injury and it was common knowledge that he was leaving for Inter Milan at the end of the season.

 

"David went through all the defensive players and picked out Nemanja and Phil Jones for criticism for their positioning. Suddenly, Nemanja started swearing in Serbian. “Sorry, do you have a problem?” David asked a visibly emotional Nemanja. “We have to defend one against one, but Rafael and Patrice are always high, they think they are strikers, they need to stay back.”

 

"I disputed that, shouting, “You have to take your responsibility, Nemanja!” We stood up and argued, unable to hear each other above each other’s shouts. We started to square up and then I pushed him. David was going mad, telling me to calm down.

 

"David’s assistants were now keeping us apart as I shouted at Nemanja, “I’ll wait for you after training.” It escalated in no time. My plan was to wait for Nemanja and fight him after training because David’s assistants wouldn’t let me get near him at the club. I would see him in the car park and we could fight there and then, man to man.

 

"As I was thinking my plan through, one of the coaches told me that the manager wanted to see me in his office. David was shocked — I don’t think he’d seen two players fight like that before. I told the manager that I was sorry, that I shouldn’t have pushed Nemanja. “Where did that strength come from, Pat?” he replied, surprised and laughing. “But seriously, you cannot fall out with Nemanja like that.” “I know,” I replied.

 

"I was still really angry, though, and went back home and planned how I was going to punch Vida the next day. I’d barely calmed down the next morning when I arrived at training and changed, but I didn’t see Vida all day. David told me not to do anything stupid and I promised him that I wouldn’t."

[Red_or_Dead]

Patrice Evra in lying shocker, who'd have thunk it eh?

 

 

 

 

[Jimmy Hills Chin]

3 hours ago, Josef Svejk said:

Evra is the master of the deluded "I would have battered him, but..." story. This one's even less believable:

 

 

"We won away at West Brom in the first game after Olympiacos, but then we lost 3-0 at home to Liverpool, a disastrous result. David called a meeting of the defenders the following day. Nemanja Vidic was coming back from injury and it was common knowledge that he was leaving for Inter Milan at the end of the season.

 

"David went through all the defensive players and picked out Nemanja and Phil Jones for criticism for their positioning. Suddenly, Nemanja started swearing in Serbian. “Sorry, do you have a problem?” David asked a visibly emotional Nemanja. “We have to defend one against one, but Rafael and Patrice are always high, they think they are strikers, they need to stay back.”

 

"I disputed that, shouting, “You have to take your responsibility, Nemanja!” We stood up and argued, unable to hear each other above each other’s shouts. We started to square up and then I pushed him. David was going mad, telling me to calm down.

 

"David’s assistants were now keeping us apart as I shouted at Nemanja, “I’ll wait for you after training.” It escalated in no time. My plan was to wait for Nemanja and fight him after training because David’s assistants wouldn’t let me get near him at the club. I would see him in the car park and we could fight there and then, man to man.

 

"As I was thinking my plan through, one of the coaches told me that the manager wanted to see me in his office. David was shocked — I don’t think he’d seen two players fight like that before. I told the manager that I was sorry, that I shouldn’t have pushed Nemanja. “Where did that strength come from, Pat?” he replied, surprised and laughing. “But seriously, you cannot fall out with Nemanja like that.” “I know,” I replied.

 

"I was still really angry, though, and went back home and planned how I was going to punch Vida the next day. I’d barely calmed down the next morning when I arrived at training and changed, but I didn’t see Vida all day. David told me not to do anything stupid and I promised him that I wouldn’t."

I wonder if he then roundhouse kicked him and sent him on the wrong bus. Been reading the bullshitters bible it seems.

[dave u]

7 hours ago, Josef Svejk said:

Evra is the master of the deluded "I would have battered him, but..." story. This one's even less believable:

 

 

"We won away at West Brom in the first game after Olympiacos, but then we lost 3-0 at home to Liverpool, a disastrous result. David called a meeting of the defenders the following day. Nemanja Vidic was coming back from injury and it was common knowledge that he was leaving for Inter Milan at the end of the season.

 

"David went through all the defensive players and picked out Nemanja and Phil Jones for criticism for their positioning. Suddenly, Nemanja started swearing in Serbian. “Sorry, do you have a problem?” David asked a visibly emotional Nemanja. “We have to defend one against one, but Rafael and Patrice are always high, they think they are strikers, they need to stay back.”

 

"I disputed that, shouting, “You have to take your responsibility, Nemanja!” We stood up and argued, unable to hear each other above each other’s shouts. We started to square up and then I pushed him. David was going mad, telling me to calm down.

 

"David’s assistants were now keeping us apart as I shouted at Nemanja, “I’ll wait for you after training.” It escalated in no time. My plan was to wait for Nemanja and fight him after training because David’s assistants wouldn’t let me get near him at the club. I would see him in the car park and we could fight there and then, man to man.

 

"As I was thinking my plan through, one of the coaches told me that the manager wanted to see me in his office. David was shocked — I don’t think he’d seen two players fight like that before. I told the manager that I was sorry, that I shouldn’t have pushed Nemanja. “Where did that strength come from, Pat?” he replied, surprised and laughing. “But seriously, you cannot fall out with Nemanja like that.” “I know,” I replied.

 

"I was still really angry, though, and went back home and planned how I was going to punch Vida the next day. I’d barely calmed down the next morning when I arrived at training and changed, but I didn’t see Vida all day. David told me not to do anything stupid and I promised him that I wouldn’t."

 

Hahaha oh my God! He's unhinged, just continually talks absolute bollocks.

[Rushies tash]

Dead right on the lingo chant, the handsome bastard.

[aws]

1 hour ago, dave u said:

 

Hahaha oh my God! He's unhinged, just continually talks absolute bollocks.

We knew that though. Habitual liar.  

[TheBitch]

The satisfaction I’d get from having one shot at Evra’s chin. 
Just one free hit.