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Carvalho Diablo

Has any one ever...? Tell us about it.

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27 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...been in a dodgy situation where you thought you might die?

I climbed a cliff face on holiday in Cornwall as a child because some kids dared me. A hand hold crumbled away and I had to grab a tuft of grass to keep myself from falling. If I'd have survived the fall I would at least have crippled myself. 

 

Also my brother and I got caught in a rip current as kids in Australia. Luckily we were pretty strong swimmers and eventually swam our way out after anywhere from 20-45 minutes of swimming at full sprint. 

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1 hour ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...been in a dodgy situation where you thought you might die?

Was in a car crash up Beacon Fell. Came off the road while my mate was razzing round and slammed into a tree.

 

Genuinely thought I was done before hit the tree but came came away, luckily, with bruised ribs; unluckily it was hay-fever season and sneezing with bruised ribs isn't my idea of fun.

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Played pool in a bar in New York state, had been on the table for about 7 games then some dodgy Australian fella with loads of tattoos and knife scars all over his face played me. I beat him fairly comfortably but then he accused me of cheating because I didn't name the pocket I put the black ball in. No one had played to that rule in any of the previous games. 

 

He'd had a few drinks to say the least and was a lot bigger than me, every attempt to talk to him or diffuse the situation didn't work. I even offered to leave the table and let him play the next game. However this pissed him off more because he said that I was basically admitting that I cheated and that I'd stood there for a while denying that I had.

 

Then 3 of his mates turned up and surrounded me saying I should go outside and fight him. This carried on for another 5 minutes. Luckily there was an off duty police officer who intervened, showed his badge and told him to leave otherwise he'd call the local station and have him banged up. He said he'd seen what was going on and that he was the aggressor for no apparent reason. 

 

I reckon I would have had my head badly kicked in by all 4 of them had he not helped. There was no way I was getting out of there without a serious injury or even worse. 

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4 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...been in a dodgy situation where you thought you might die?

Nearly drowned white water rafting in the Himalayas. Tipped the raft and fell into freezing cold water, big foamy waves and lots of rocks. Horrible few minutes of not being able to swim or take a proper breath. 

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5 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...been on a caravan holiday?

Yes,as a kid. I did enjoy them back then but I cringe at the thought of them nowadays. Not that I go on holidays much at all anyway.

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4 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...been in a dodgy situation where you thought you might die?

Got dragged out to sea by a frighteningly strong tide about 8 years ago in Cornwall. This was after buying a wetsuit and body board and thinking "i've still got it" (i clearly didn't). Luckily for me the lifeguards that were everywhere saw my struggles and fished me out of the sea in their little boat. It was only when they dumped me back on the sand and i crawled back to my oblivious family that i realised just how exhausted i was, it took me a good 15 minutes to breathe properly again. 

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A few…
 

One night in Russia I got in a car I thought was a taxi, whilst very drunk and quite possibly having been drugged. Fortunately I had enough wherewithal to quite quickly realise my mistake as the car was heading in the wrong direction to my hotel. I made my escape at a set of lights. The driver did try to grab me but his heart wasn’t fully in it. 
 

Another time in Istanbul my friend and I befriended a couple of locals who took us round a few bars. As we were leaving one bar a few others joined the party. I found out later that one of them made a throat slitting gesture at my friend which spooked him and caused him to tell me we needed to do one. We made it to a taxi but one of our pursuers did as well and he got in the passenger door, said something in Turkish to the driver and then reached for the car keys. A few of the others were banging on the windows. It cost us a few quid to escape. 
 

I also got a gun pointed at me by a loon at a party me and another friend had gatecrashed. We did steal some cans of hofmeister from the fridge but our crime didn’t deserve an execution in the garden. Fortunately said loon decided in our favour and we were allowed to live. 
 

By far the worst though was the time I ignored the wife’s order to put the bins out. How I’m still here to tell the tale is a miracle. 

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12 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...been on a caravan holiday?

That’s a low bar isn’t it? Surely everyone has been on a caravan holiday, haven’t they?

 

my childhood was spent in a caravan in Tenby every Easter and summer holidays. Tremendous times, even with only 4 channels of telly and no such thing as the internet.

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8 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Nearly drowned white water rafting in the Himalayas. Tipped the raft and fell into freezing cold water, big foamy waves and lots of rocks. Horrible few minutes of not being able to swim or take a proper breath. 

Did you deliver the Milk Tray though?

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8 hours ago, Total Longo said:

Got dragged out to sea by a frighteningly strong tide about 8 years ago in Cornwall. This was after buying a wetsuit and body board and thinking "i've still got it" (i clearly didn't). Luckily for me the lifeguards that were everywhere saw my struggles and fished me out of the sea in their little boat. It was only when they dumped me back on the sand and i crawled back to my oblivious family that i realised just how exhausted i was, it took me a good 15 minutes to breathe properly again. 

I did this at Newquay aged about 10. Rescued by some Aussie lifeguard on a surfboard. 

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13 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...been on a caravan holiday?

Pretty much the only sort of holiday when I was a kid: New Quay, Filey, Southerness...

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Anyone ever woken up in a draw in a morgue?

Anyone ever fought three fellas by the Jolly Miller round kicking them to defeat?

Anyone ever tried to get into an Eagles gig with a Joe Walsh passport?

Anyone ever dealt drugs to a Curtis Warren yet still live at home?

Anyone ever sat and minded a girl you fancied kid while the girl is bang at it upstairs with the kids dad. And carried a picture of said kid in his wallet?

 

I was 1.4 & 5 by the same person who was also there when I heard 3. 1 was some loon my mrs use to work with.

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15 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

Have you ever... been kicked square in the bollocks?

I remember being about 15 and we had just kicked off a footy match, literally minutes in and someone chipped the ball and it clipped my bollocks as I put my leg up to block. I had to crawl off to the side of the pitch, throwing up the lot. He didn't even kick it hard or anything, I can still feel my stomach turning over just thinking about it. 

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