Has any one ever...? Tell us about it.

[Captain Turdseye]

5 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Luck all thoroughly used up. Just got my

arse handed to me at Uno, pass the pigs and dobble in a quick fire games session with my girl before bed. Fuming.

We did similar tonight. She’s off school tomorrow anyway (tested negative, just waiting for her sister’s result) so I let her have an extra hour before bed. 
 

Battleship, Connect 4, Top Trumps, playing cards and some iphone word game app called Kitty Letter, which is actually pretty fun. It’s like Word Soup but it lets you link up on two phones and race with one another. She beat me three times.

[RJ Fan club]

11 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

I’ve never played Scrabble.

You more a Trivial Pursuit man Tone?

 

You know where you are with Trivial Pursuit, the answer is right or wrong.
 

Scrabble descends into farce as some twat tries to lay down the equivalent of KWYJIBO 

[Jose Jones]

Has anyone ever.... shit out of foiling a crime?

[DalyanPete]

8 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

It was only 3 nights ago, so not much of a challenge to remember the details of the greatest moment of my entire fucking life.

Great story to tell though.

[Jose Jones]

2 minutes ago, Jose Jones said:

Has anyone ever.... shit out of foiling a crime?

Why yes, it was just this afternoon when I was riding my son home from school.  We were just coming along our street, when on the other side of the road a young lady in nurse outfit (there's a dentist/doctors on the corner) came running along shouting that some guy had just stolen her number plates.

 

The fella was just ahead and not making any real attempt at legging it, so I decided to send the boy home on his own and go and help.  She went running off to the cop shop (which is a couple of hundred metres round the corner) while I went after the fella.  My plan was to say to him "look, she's just gone off to get the cops, why don't you just give me back the plates and do one, everyone is a winner".  However when it came to it he gave me a right drugged out of his mind, I will fuck you up look, that I completely shit out of it and just let him go on his way.

 

The look of disappointment in her eyes when recounting my heroic actions will stay with me for a while.  To be fair, the cops didn't do anything either.

When I got home and told the missus she pissed herself laughing at me as well. 

[Bob]

2 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

Why yes, it was just this afternoon when I was riding my son home from school.  We were just coming along our street, when on the other side of the road a young lady in nurse outfit (there's a dentist/doctors on the corner) came running along shouting that some guy had just stolen her number plates.

 

The fella was just ahead and not making any real attempt at legging it, so I decided to send the boy home on his own and go and help.  She went running off to the cop shop (which is a couple of hundred metres round the corner) while I went after the fella.  My plan was to say to him "look, she's just gone off to get the cops, why don't you just give me back the plates and do one, everyone is a winner".  However when it came to it he gave me a right drugged out of his mind, I will fuck you up look, that I completely shit out of it and just let him go on his way.

 

The look of disappointment in her eyes when recounting my heroic actions will stay with me for a while.  To be fair, the cops didn't do anything either.

When I got home and told the missus she pissed herself laughing at me as well. 

It’s the intent that was honourable there. Well done, good on you.

[Total Longo]

2 hours ago, RJ Fan club said:

You more a Trivial Pursuit man Tone?

 

You know where you are with Trivial Pursuit, the answer is right or wrong.
 

Scrabble descends into farce as some twat tries to lay down the equivalent of KWYJIBO 

Depends on how much of a pedant you can be. That full stop missed off is all important when it comes to a potentially winning question.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Has anyone ever... been on the telly?

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

Why yes, it was just this afternoon when I was riding my son home from school.  We were just coming along our street, when on the other side of the road a young lady in nurse outfit (there's a dentist/doctors on the corner) came running along shouting that some guy had just stolen her number plates.

 

The fella was just ahead and not making any real attempt at legging it, so I decided to send the boy home on his own and go and help.  She went running off to the cop shop (which is a couple of hundred metres round the corner) while I went after the fella.  My plan was to say to him "look, she's just gone off to get the cops, why don't you just give me back the plates and do one, everyone is a winner".  However when it came to it he gave me a right drugged out of his mind, I will fuck you up look, that I completely shit out of it and just let him go on his way.

 

The look of disappointment in her eyes when recounting my heroic actions will stay with me for a while.  To be fair, the cops didn't do anything either.

When I got home and told the missus she pissed herself laughing at me as well. 

Like when Rodney chased that mugger 

[Karl_b]

On 14/11/2021 at 01:19, Shitty Arse said:

Has anyone ever shit themselves in public?

Yes but I have ulcerative colitis so that doesn't count, right, RIGHT?!

[AngryOfTuebrook]

2 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

Why yes, it was just this afternoon when I was riding my son home from school.  We were just coming along our street, when on the other side of the road a young lady in nurse outfit (there's a dentist/doctors on the corner) came running along shouting that some guy had just stolen her number plates.

 

The fella was just ahead and not making any real attempt at legging it, so I decided to send the boy home on his own and go and help.  She went running off to the cop shop (which is a couple of hundred metres round the corner) while I went after the fella.  My plan was to say to him "look, she's just gone off to get the cops, why don't you just give me back the plates and do one, everyone is a winner".  However when it came to it he gave me a right drugged out of his mind, I will fuck you up look, that I completely shit out of it and just let him go on his way.

 

The look of disappointment in her eyes when recounting my heroic actions will stay with me for a while.  To be fair, the cops didn't do anything either.

When I got home and told the missus she pissed herself laughing at me as well. 

You made the right call, though. No point getting yourself twatted for a set of number plates.

[Captain Turdseye]

13 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Has anyone ever... been on the telly?

I was on North West Tonight when I was a kid. The local youth club had a thing where they had ‘alcohol awareness’ teachers come in and the BBC must have been short of stories and sent someone to film it.  
 

They didn’t put it on when they said they would, obviously now I realise they holding were holding onto it until they needed to fill a couple of minutes with shite. It was about two weeks later when I went into school and everyone said they saw me putting my mate into the recovery position. 
 

The same alcohol awareness lot made a few of our mates ‘act’ in a photo that went on a leaflet warning kids not to leave their mates alone if they were pissed. That leaflet ended up everywhere, even at one point popping up on the notice board in Ian Beale’s cafe. 

[Bob]

12 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Has anyone ever... been on the telly?

When I was at high school we travelled down from Birmingham to London for a field trip to the Imperial War Museum, and the trip was going to be filmed for Newsnight, so I think we were given a choice of whether we wanted to be on TV - and had to wear our uniforms for the day - or not, and could go in our own clothes. Whether it was a choice or some of us were asked, either way, about half a dozen of us could be seen from a distance on the TV that week, while everyone else got to be comfortable for the day. Rubbish. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

15 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

When I was at high school we travelled down from Birmingham to London for a field trip to the Imperial War Museum, and the trip was going to be filmed for Newsnight, so I think we were given a choice of whether we wanted to be on TV - and had to wear our uniforms for the day - or not, and could go in our own clothes. Whether it was a choice or some of us were asked, either way, about half a dozen of us could be seen from a distance on the TV that week, while everyone else got to be comfortable for the day. Rubbish. 

Better than Succession.

[Bjornebye]

34 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Has anyone ever... been on the telly?

Giving the fingers behind Madeley while on a school trip to the tate when the cunt used to do the morning pish on the Albert Dock. I probably share that tail with about 25% of 36/44 year old males from Merseyside. 

[RJ Fan club]

19 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Giving the fingers behind Madeley while on a school trip to the tate when the cunt used to do the morning pish on the Albert Dock. I probably share that tail with about 25% of 36/44 year old males from Merseyside. 

A girl in our form at school got caught sagging as she walked passed the Studio while Richard and Judy was on.
 

Think someone’s Ma saw her and grassed to the school.

 

Needless to say she got a rousing version of the This Morning jingle when she walked in for registration the next morning.

 

Der der der der der…

[RJ Fan club]

1 hour ago, Total Longo said:

Depends on how much of a pedant you can be. That full stop missed off is all important when it comes to a potentially winning question.

When I typed that. I thought some pedant will say but the answers are shit.

 

cheers Longo, glad it was you 

[Total Longo]

41 minutes ago, RJ Fan club said:

When I typed that. I thought some pedant will say but the answers are shit.

 

cheers Longo, glad it was you 

I could be even more pedantic and tell you that you are occasionally putting full stops where commas should be, but i won't.

[Bob]

4 hours ago, RJ Fan club said:

You more a Trivial Pursuit man Tone?

 

You know where you are with Trivial Pursuit, the answer is right or wrong.
 

Scrabble descends into farce as some twat tries to lay down the equivalent of KWYJIBO 

We played a game of trivial pursuit round and my missus’s dads a couple of christmases ago, but it was a decades

old version, possibly even the original, and so loads of the answers were now wrong, especially those involving the Soviet Union, Yugoslavia and Richard Burton’s wife - which oddly came up in more than one question.

 

That was turning into quite a long night as her dad’s wife is fucking insane, until the evening was brought to a close by a neighbour calling round to tell them his wife had finally passed away after several days of being on the brink with after a long illness.

 

We left at that point. Nobody won Trivial Pursuit that year.

[Total Longo]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I was on North West Tonight when I was a kid.

 

[Captain Turdseye]

15 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

 

Dim and Dimmer. I’d have probably been that star struck too if I’d been sat opposite Gordon Burns. 

[RJ Fan club]

21 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

I could be even more pedantic and tell you that you are occasionally putting full stops where commas should be, but i won't.

Think it’s my phone. That, and I don’t check what I’ve typed. 

[Total Longo]

2 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Dim and Dimmer. I’d have probably been that star struck too if I’d been sat opposite Gordon Burns. 

All a sudden, haffem got off n' bus staarted rerlin back

[Pete]

2 hours ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Has anyone ever... been on the telly?

Been on Cheggers Plays Pop with my Secondary school. 

[Bjornebye]

27 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

I could be even more pedantic and tell you that you are occasionally putting full stops where commas should be, but i won't.

I*