Has any one ever...? Tell us about it.

[littletedwest]

7 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...comforted a dying person at the moment of death?

Yeah, me my sister and my mrs were with my dad when he died. 

He was in a care home, we knew it was close. The home rang to say he was bad. Then she said he'd gone.

Imagine my surprise to get there and see him saying " just gonna walk it off" he'd been having these seizures and stopping breathing and the care assistant thought he'd gone. By the time we got there he'd come around again. He died later that day.

But in a way it was funny we said after only my dad would try to walk off dying 

 

[Bob]

On 08/12/2021 at 23:02, stringvest said:

I’ve been chased by a man with a meat cleaver.  He caught me as well, before dragging me back to the restaurant to pay the bill.  If I hadn’t had that last pancake I’d have got away.

Haha, reminds me of a tale from my Ex, who went out for a Christmas meal with 2 of her oldest school friends when back from uni one year, and one stated that they (predictably, and not for the first time) had no money to pay for their meal. So rather than bail her out as they had many times before, they weighed up the situation and decided it was busy, the staff were all over the place, and they’d make a run for it after they finished.

 

all was going relatively well and they thought they were away, when suddenly a security man (or member of staff at least) dressed as Santa caught up with them and marched them back to the restaurant to pay!

 

I have a vague memory he chased ty through an underpass but that might be made up.

[Bob]

23 hours ago, stringvest said:

Has anyone ever seen a singer or band perform in an unlikely venue?

 

What? Like the back seat of a Volkswagen?

[Bob]

22 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

My eight year old daughter. She’s a bit like your niece. 
 

Guess what she’s getting for Christmas. And no, it’s not a Vespa. 

My girls best friend (turns 9 this weekend) couldn’t ride a bike without stabilisers for ages after mine and most of their friends had mastered it, so they sent her to a fella who called himself the bike whisperer or something, and paid him to teach her, and she got it in no time then.

 

presumably the fella will eventually end up tipping himself when he can no longer live with the shame and the knowledge he’s had to bury deep inside himself that he failed as a parent, but whatever, she’s not going to be a social outcast now which is nice.

[Harry's Lad]

1 hour ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...comforted a dying person at the moment of death?

My Dad. 

 

He had bowel cancer which had spread to his liver and lymph nodes that was diagnosed far too late for treatment and died 7 weeks after diagnosis.

I was there with my Mum and sisters when he died, but had been there every day. 

Those long goodbyes are the absolute worst.

[Harry Squatter]

Anyone been barred from a pub?

 

I've only been barred from the George in Crosby because I was 15 and some lad that I hated in school, his sister was the manager who was an absolute twat and barred me. She got sacked for letting 13 year olds drink in there and the gaff got raided by the police. Once she was sacked I was straight back in there. 

 

My mate who I've mentioned a few times on here managed to get barred from every pub in Waterloo and Crosby. After 3 months he was allowed to appeal against it and had to go to a hearing with Merseyside pubwatch and a few landlords to say he wasn't a social menace.

 

He asked me to be a character witness at his appeal and said "you go to court a lot with your job, can you put together some evidence and plead on my behalf to say I'm not a total dickhead who acts a cunt when he's drunk?". 

 

I said "so you're basically asking me to lie to the police?"

 

I didn't go and he had to serve another 3 months ban. 

[Tony Moanero]

I’ve been barred from three pubs, all since I moved to Yorkshire. Shitting myself two nights consecutively, falling asleep, then kicking off when my wife tried to wake me up (last pub on my route home), complaining about how they kept their ale. I’ve been made to feel unwelcome in, but not barred from, various other pubs for the latter.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

31 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

.Shitting myself two nights consecutively,

Oh my!

 

I love the thought of you, sober, deciding that the best way to spend the evening was to return to the pub where you'd shat yourself the previous night.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I got me and my brother barred from a pub in Preston Brook ages ago. We'd already had a few scoops before turning up at this really nice canalside place. Our Mike bumped into an old mate he'd not seen for years, who said he was about to host the pub quiz, but he'd catch up with us afterwards. Fair enough, me and Mike decided to enter the quiz.

 

I should stress that this was before things like Twitter and TLW, so opportunities for needlessly calling strangers stupid cunts were quite limited.

 

We did the quiz and at the end - by which time I was bollocksed - we swapped papers to mark each other's answers. I did this in a manner I presumably thought was witty, charming and colourful: instead of a simple X next to the (many) incorrect answers, I was scribbling stuff like "hahaha nobheads" and "are you fucking thick?" Then we handed the sheets in.

 

Before our Mike's old mate announced that we had won, he went all solemn and serious, telling the pub "in the ten years I've been running this quiz, I have never - NEVER - seen anything as disgraceful as what has happened tonight". When they realised it was me and (guilty by association) my brother who had done it, the manager told us to sup up, fuck off and never come back. 

 

Our Mike made them give us our prize money before we left.

 

His mate never did get in touch.

[Harry's Lad]

12 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...been present at the birth of a child or an animal?

I was at the birth of both my kids, both beautiful and humbling moments.

I nearly lost my Mrs not long after my lad was born when she  haemmorrhaged badly a couple of days after leaving hospital, which was terrifying, but it didn't stop her having our daughter a couple of years later.

Amazing courage.

 

I saw my Labrador have a litter of pups. That was amazing. You can't teach an animal about this, they just know what to do.

Being 11 at the time I wanted to keep them all but that was never going to happen and I was devastated when I came home from school one day to find all 6 pups gone. 

[YorkshireRed]

12 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...been present at the birth of a child or an animal?

I’m sure loads have but I’ll just add a memory.

 

Our eldest was breeched, seeing the kid he’s become this makes perfect sense. Anyway a planned cesarian was necessary. The wife was ultra cool about the whole thing, even when her operation was halted to deal with an emergency that was rushed in beside her. 
 

She was just becoming what she was meant to be, everything else was only noise. I think she was a mother before she had kids, if that makes any sense, but once she had them she was/is complete. 

[littletedwest]

Never been barred from a pub but been ejected a few times. Used get thrown out of 42 Street in Manchester every week. Bouncers seemed have a begrudging respect for me. Remember queueing one night and they said they were full, when one bouncer shouted " let him in he's a regular " kicked me out three hours later for being too pissed

[Carvalho Diablo]

2 hours ago, Harry Squatter said:

Anyone been barred from a pub?

 

 

Yes, loads, seriously too many to mention. I've even been thrown *into* a pub once!

 

I'm not a nasty drunk or anything at all like that, far from it. Conversely, I love to get absolutely pissed and have a right laugh.

 

My best mate though, he's a total and utter lunatic, but ive had some of the funniest and best times of my life when I've been out on the piss with him.

 

Perhaps we're getting too old for our shenanigans but fuck it, I'm really beyond caring what other people think tbh.

[Rico1304]

22 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Never been barred from a pub but been ejected a few times. Used get thrown out of 42 Street in Manchester every week. Bouncers seemed have a begrudging respect for me. Remember queueing one night and they said they were full, when one bouncer shouted " let him in he's a regular " kicked me out three hours later for being too pissed

I’ve been the oldest person in 42’s. Love it. 

[littletedwest]

Student night on a Tuesday, was a quid a drink and 1.50 for a double vodka red bull. Was never thrown our for trouble, just for being too pissed

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

On 08/12/2021 at 05:28, Remmie said:

Has anyone been involved in a drive by?

I was staying at a cheap hotel (Holiday Inn maybe) the road and same day that Tupac got killed. That's it, really. 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

Not barred, but kicked out of a bar in New Orleans, a few weeks after we went on the run after the Tupac shooting. We spent the night dancing with some American girls. The bar said they wanted to close, but we kept trying to get them to stay open a bit longer, not understanding how shite US employment conditions were, being really selfish. The girls tried to get us to go to Lollapalooza with them but a couple of the lads (including the driver) said they didn't want to go. We missed Smashing Pumpkins, Tribe Called Quest, George Clinton, The Beastie Boys, and the Breeders, according to Wiki.

[Captain Willard]

My mother in law is barred from our local. She’s 74. Accused the couple on the next table of Googling the answers in the pub quiz. Got a bit heated. They were actually texting their babysitter. 

[cloggypop]

On 09/12/2021 at 11:25, stringvest said:

Has anyone ever seen a singer or band perform in an unlikely venue?

 

I saw Future Islands play in a tiny squatted bike shed. 

[littletedwest]

8 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

My mother in law is barred from our local. She’s 74. Accused the couple on the next table of Googling the answers in the pub quiz. Got a bit heated. They were actually texting their babysitter. 

My uncle is barred from wetherspoon near us for fighting. He was 75 at the time. He rugby tackled a burglar 3 week ago and he's 81. Police were already on his estate as someone else had reported something so the burglar got nicked. 

 

Chalk and cheese to my dad but they got on well. He's about 12 stone but is ridiculously intimidating. 

[cloggypop]

5 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

I saw Future Islands play in a tiny squatted bike shed. 

Footage here from my mate Marcel who was probably also trying to do the sound

 

 

[Captain Willard]

On 09/12/2021 at 10:25, stringvest said:

Has anyone ever seen a singer or band perform in an unlikely venue?

 

Bonnie Tyler came on at half time at the old Upton Park and sang “holding out for a hero”when West Ham were 2.0 down to us about 15 years ago. I think she would concede it was not her best performance in front of, to be fair to her, a pretty tough and unforgiving crowd. Unintentionally hilarious. 

[Captain Willard]

26 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

My uncle is barred from wetherspoon near us for fighting. He was 75 at the time. He rugby tackled a burglar 3 week ago and he's 81. Police were already on his estate as someone else had reported something so the burglar got nicked. 

 

Chalk and cheese to my dad but they got on well. He's about 12 stone but is ridiculously intimidating. 

Ha ha. We need a thread on belligerent relatives. 

[littletedwest]

14 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Ha ha. We need a thread on belligerent relatives. 

It's weird from my dads family they are all decent but my auntie and uncle Bill are very "assertive" 

[Harry's Lad]

18 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Ha ha. We need a thread on belligerent relatives. 

Jesus, I've got some of those, most no longer with us. Mainly in laws I hasten to add.