Has any one ever...? Tell us about it.

[Carvalho Diablo]

30 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...fallen asleep somewhere in public?

Heading up to Newcastle to see Neil Young, I'd arranged to meet with @Chairman Meow  and my mate Sievo a few years back, I'd taken the afternoon off work so had arranged to mate Sievo that afternoon at the Union Rooms for a few pints.

 

I got there early, got my drink and went to sit outside in the small terrace beer garden at the front, it was summer time, I sat down, took a drink and that was it, I was out like a fucking light.

 

Next thing I know, Sievo is patting me on the shoulder to wake me up. I'd been fast asleep for close on 2 hours, problem was however, I could feel my face, nose and ears had caught the sun.

 

Met up with Chairman Miaow later on and the gig was great.

 

Got up for work the next day though and fucking hell, Simon Weston was starring back at me from the bathroom mirror. Worst of all though we're my ears, they were bright red, peeling and seeping, swollen and sticking out from my head at unnatural angles.

 

Every cunt at work, punters included, pulled the piss out of me for days afterwards. The only relief I got was from Boots emergency burn cream.

 

Daft bastard.

 

 

[Harry Squatter]

27 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...fallen asleep somewhere in public?

Used to get the last train from town on a post work pissup Friday back to Crosby. By Litherland I was fast asleep and woke up in Southport with the guard and station staff kicking my legs and shouting at me to wake me up so they could lock up the station and go home.

 

A bright idea to get the last train to save myself 20 odd quid in a taxi ended up as a 40 quid taxi ride from Southport. 

 

Got the train from Edinburgh on New year's day after being out all night. Didn't even bother booking a hotel. Was shattered and hung over. The train was the Plymouth train which stopped in Preston to change for Liverpool. Fell asleep with my head on the table. Luckily I woke up about ten minutes before Preston which was better than ending up in Plymouth.

[Harry Squatter]

My mate wanted to get a new passport in 1999 and there was a new computer system that fucked up everything in the passport office so people would end up having to queue up overnight in Water Street to get theirs done. 

 

My mate saw a load of woolyback lads who were there drinking and fell asleep on the pavement but leaning back against the wall. My mate decides to run up to all 5 of them and smack each of them in their face with his knob. Only one of them actually woke up as he thought he'd been punched in the face. 

[Bjornebye]

32 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

Used to get the last train from town on a post work pissup Friday back to Crosby. By Litherland I was fast asleep and woke up in Southport with the guard and station staff kicking my legs and shouting at me to wake me up so they could lock up the station and go home.

 

A bright idea to get the last train to save myself 20 odd quid in a taxi ended up as a 40 quid taxi ride from Southport. 

 

Got the train from Edinburgh on New year's day after being out all night. Didn't even bother booking a hotel. Was shattered and hung over. The train was the Plymouth train which stopped in Preston to change for Liverpool. Fell asleep with my head on the table. Luckily I woke up about ten minutes before Preston which was better than ending up in Plymouth.

Happened to me bladdered from lime st asked the woman next to me to wake me up at Prescot if i fell asleep, she woke me up at Preston 

[Remmie]

Yep I too have fell asleep on the train, waking just as it left Milton Keynes, if it was an older train I could have climbed out the window and made it still. Also a £40 cab back home from Rugby.

[stringvest]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Yes a few times. Most notably Exeter St David’s train station on the platform when the train to Plymouth decided Exeter was its last stop it half 1 in the morning. I was pissed thankfully. 

Loads on the train.  When I worked in Chester and lived on the Wirral, I woke up in the train sheds at Birkenhead Central.  When I moved down south and lived in Woking, I'd often find myself being woken up in Portsmouth or Southampton.  I've also fallen asleep in a hedge standing up.  Well sort of standing up.

[Captain Willard]

Left my jacket on a train at York when changing trains Didn’t realise until I was sat on the other train with my bag and laptop on the table. Got off to run over the bridge to retrieve my jacket and stood and watched both trains leave in seperate directions leaving me without jacket, bag or laptop. 

[stringvest]

1 minute ago, Captain Willard said:

Left my jacket on a train at York when changing trains Didn’t realise until I was sat on the other train with my bag and laptop on the table. Got off to run over the bridge to retrieve my jacket and stood and watched both trains leave in seperate directions leaving me without jacket, bag or laptop. 

fucking hell.  That's Mr. Bean level.

[Captain Willard]

Just now, stringvest said:

fucking hell.  That's Mr. Bean level.

Yeah not my finest moment. got my jacket and bag back but never saw the laptop again. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

On 19/11/2021 at 11:05, Mike D said:

Has anyone ever had a camera up your japs eye? 
 

I have and it fucking kills.

 

Carry on.

Pics or GTFO.

[mattyq]

Few beers in London and got the train to Didcot

Was woken up by a Guard in Swansea

Naturally it was raining

[AngryOfTuebrook]

43 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Left my jacket on a train at York when changing trains Didn’t realise until I was sat on the other train with my bag and laptop on the table. Got off to run over the bridge to retrieve my jacket and stood and watched both trains leave in seperate directions leaving me without jacket, bag or laptop. 

This is my new favourite thing. The more I think about it, the better it gets.

 

It's a brilliant example of how time is relative. The time when you're running between trains must have flown, but the moment you see the trains moving was probably the longest moment of your life.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

44 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Yeah not my finest moment. got my jacket and bag back but never saw the laptop again. 

This bit, too.

 

You report you've left something on a train and they talk you through the process of getting it back... then you have to say "And I left some other stuff on another train".

 

Sorry for your misfortune, mate, but you've made my day with this.

[Carvalho Diablo]

9 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

This is my new favourite thing. The more I think about it, the better it gets.

 

It's a brilliant example of how time is relative. The time when you're running between trains must have flown, but the moment you see the trains moving was probably the longest moment of your life.

 

[Tony Moanero]

2 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...fallen asleep somewhere in public?

Yes, loads of times when I used to drink. Embarrassingly, I was thrown out of Anfield and barred from a pub.

[Captain Willard]

2 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

This bit, too.

 

You report you've left something on a train and they talk you through the process of getting it back... then you have to say "And I left some other stuff on another train".

 

Sorry for your misfortune, mate, but you've made my day with this.

Yeah my family and colleagues saw the funny side as well. It took me a bit longer. 

[stringvest]

52 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Yes, loads of times when I used to drink. Embarrassingly, I was thrown out of Anfield and barred from a pub.

falling asleep in a pub is deadly, because you become the base for human buckaroo

[Rushies tash]

1 minute ago, stringvest said:

falling asleep in a pub is deadly, because you become the base for human buckaroo

My old local in Kirkby had a wall of shame full of photos of people who'd took the knock there.

[Harry Squatter]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Happened to me bladdered from lime st asked the woman next to me to wake me up at Prescot if i fell asleep, she woke me up at Preston 

You were probably that bladdered she didn't understand you properly.

[Bjornebye]

7 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

You were probably that bladdered she didn't understand you properly.

Absolutely. 

[Elite]

Anyone ever pissed in someone's house and I don't mean by using the toilet?

[manwiththestick]

6 minutes ago, Elite said:

Anyone ever pissed in someone's house and I don't mean by using the toilet?

Yeah, at a mates house party, sleeping on the couch with this bird I'd got with, got up and started pissing on the radiator which had a pair of my mates jeans and a jumper on it. I didn't know at the time, obviously rat arsed and half asleep, said bird woke me asking wtf I was doing. Never said anything to my mate.

[Harry Squatter]

On 18/11/2021 at 21:28, TheHowieLama said:

Has anyone ever...known someone who committed suicide?

My schoolmate killed himself in 2006. He had a traumatic life surviving his parents flat exploding due to a gas leak but his Mum being killed in the blast. 

 

His sister was a totally selfish cunt and left him to look after his Dad who was deteriorating due to dementia. Even after his Dad died she took out loans against the house and had all kinds of people round at the house til the early hours of the morning. 

 

He hadn't worked for a while due to depression and caring for his Dad. A few of us would try to get him out buying him drinks but he just became less and less sociable. He then moved out of his house and left his sister get on with it.

 

Moved to a dump of a flat but we managed to get him some furniture and a telly. Once he moved out he seemed to be happier and would get out more playing 5 a side, packed in ciggies and weed and would  cycle miles on his bike. He lost about 4 stone and for the first time in ages he seemed to have a direction in life. 

 

Came back off holiday and one of the lads who knew him called me to tell me he had taken a massive overdose in his flat and had been dead for 5 days before he was found. 

 

The cunt sister still posts photos of him on her Facebook page saying how much she misses him etc. She ended up selling the house and getting married, going on about 4 holidays a year. Life just isn't fair. 

[Bjornebye]

8 minutes ago, Elite said:

Anyone ever pissed in someone's house and I don't mean by using the toilet?

Pissed a few birds beds when I was a younger lad. hadn't done it in years but stayed at my one of my old school-mates in town a couple of times when I moved back up here (was in a bad place, hammering the ale daily etc) and both times I crashed in his spare room I pissed the bed. The second time he had Air BnB visitors the following night. That was awkward. 

[KMD7]

On 18/11/2021 at 21:28, TheHowieLama said:

Has anyone ever...known someone who committed suicide?

Too many neighbours, school mates and friends over the years sadly. It's a huge problem in rural Ireland especially when I was growing up for young men (mainly) being unemployed, last child in the family minding the farm etc coupled with drink. The recent recession has brought it to the fore again too. My two first cousins lost 2 brother in law's through suicide each over the course of a few years. 

 

Was talking to a girl recently I used to go out with when we were in school. Lovely girl, had been away for years and recently moved home. I asked her what brought her home and she said her brother had just taken his own life and she had to take care of her elderly mother.  Grim.