Has any one ever...? Tell us about it.

[YorkshireRed]

10 hours ago, TheHowieLama said:

Has anyone ever...known someone who committed suicide?

Yes. She was beautiful, talented (a published author), funny and very intelligent. A mother of two and owner of a funny looking dog. 
 

The difficulties she had were real and I wish I’d have been the friend she needed, instead of what I was. I might have been able to help her, she certainly would have been able to help me. 
 

I think of her often. This week I had something difficult I needed to do. At moments like that I understand a bit of why she did what she did, when she did. 
 

Driving home last night, I heard the song Vincent by Don McLean. Many of the lyrics remind me of her but, in particular…

 

This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.

[johnsusername]

11 hours ago, TheHowieLama said:

Has anyone ever...known someone who committed suicide?

A fella I used to work with. Was the first day back in the office after Christmas close down and the chief exec got everyone together and told us he'd hung himself on Christmas Day. He'd been separated from his wife and two kids. I guess you never really know what's going on in someone's head. 

[johnsusername]

On 15/11/2021 at 04:42, Boss said:

Has anyone ever... saved someone's life?

No (and I realise I'm not answering the question) but I watched someone save my dad's life. On holiday in Spain when i was little, at the beach, my dad almost drowned after getting caught out by the sea. Some fella swam out and rescued him and CPR'd him on the beach. This was 86 I think, and I remember my cousin running over to tell us what had happened and me sprinting down the beach (before Baywatch made it sexy) to find my dad sprawled out on the sand with the fella reviving him. I don't think my dad has been in water since.

[Mike D]

Has anyone ever had a camera up your japs eye? 
 

I have and it fucking kills.

 

Carry on.

[Harry's Lad]

7 minutes ago, Mike D said:

Has anyone ever had a camera up your japs eye? 
 

I have and it fucking kills.

 

Carry on.

Yep. Horrible experience.

[easytoslip]

3 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Yes. She was beautiful, talented (a published author), funny and very intelligent. A mother of two and owner of a funny looking dog. 
 

The difficulties she had were real and I wish I’d have been the friend she needed, instead of what I was. I might have been able to help her, she certainly would have been able to help me. 
 

I think of her often. This week I had something difficult I needed to do. At moments like that I understand a bit of why she did what she did, when she did. 
 

Driving home last night, I heard the song Vincent by Don McLean. Many of the lyrics remind me of her but, in particular…

 

This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.

It's sad and in some ways I can relate to that. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

Has aanyone ever...proposed marriage to someone and been knocked back?

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Has aanyone ever...proposed marriage to someone and been knocked back?

Kate Beckinsale on Instagram. Although she hasn't read the message yet so it doesn't technically count as a knock back. ...

 

Actually.... 

 

 

I'm consulting my lawyer 

[YorkshireRed]

4 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Kate Beckinsale on Instagram. Although she hasn't read the message yet so it doesn't technically count as a knock back. ...

 

Actually.... 

 

 

I'm consulting my lawyer 

I’d take that to mean, she’s thinking about it. 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’d take that to mean, she’s thinking about it. 

That's my take as well tbh mate 

[tokyojoe]

2 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Has aanyone ever...proposed marriage to someone and been knocked back?

The cow said yes. Bollocks.

[Tony Moanero]

Has anyone ever had their date walk out on them?

 

Years who, I was seeing a lovely young woman and things were going pretty well. For her birthday, I booked theatre tickets and a hotel room in London. However, I got so drunk, when we returned to the hotel, I left her in the room and took to riding up and down in the lift, rolling out commando-style and throwing imaginary grenades, then rolling back in. Unbeknown to me at the time, she came out of the room, saw what I was doing, packed her overnight bag and left. Suffice to say, there were no further dates.

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Has anyone ever had their date walk out on them?

 

Years who, I was seeing a lovely young woman and things were going pretty well. For her birthday, I booked theatre tickets and a hotel room in London. However, I got so drunk, when we returned to the hotel, I left her in the room and took to riding up and down in the lift, rolling out commando-style and throwing imaginary grenades, then rolling back in. Unbeknown to me at the time, she came out of the room, saw what I was doing, packed her overnight bag and left. Suffice to say, there were no further dates.

Hahahaha superb. 

[manwiththestick]

7 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Has anyone ever had their date walk out on them?

 

Years who, I was seeing a lovely young woman and things were going pretty well. For her birthday, I booked theatre tickets and a hotel room in London. However, I got so drunk, when we returned to the hotel, I left her in the room and took to riding up and down in the lift, rolling out commando-style and throwing imaginary grenades, then rolling back in. Unbeknown to me at the time, she came out of the room, saw what I was doing, packed her overnight bag and left. Suffice to say, there were no further dates.

Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

[Tony Moanero]

4 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

Haha. Some years later, I bumped into her in town whilst Christmas shopping with my wife. She said hello and quickly moved on.

[Strontium]

5 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

 

Dodged a bullet, a howitzer, a couple of mortars, and a whole load of shrapnel.

[Captain Willard]

Has anyone ever..,. Lost a fight ? 

I've only had 1 and I was leading on points when it broken up. I'm always unsure how you get it to stop if youre losing. Run away ? 

 

[Tony Moanero]

6 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Has anyone ever..,. Lost a fight ? 

I've only had 1 and I was leading on points when it broken up. I'm always unsure how you get it to stop if youre losing. Run away ? 

 

I have never had a fight but I‘ve been knocked out twice.

[Bjornebye]

6 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Has anyone ever..,. Lost a fight ? 

I've only had 1 and I was leading on points when it broken up. I'm always unsure how you get it to stop if youre losing. Run away ? 

 

Did some boxing in the Navy. Won 3 fights, lost my last one. 4 rounds getting my head punched in by a lad made of concrete. Stayed standing till the end but I've had better nights. He handed me my arse. 

[Ken Robber]

Has anyone ever... been cheated on? 

 

Happened to me when I was 23. Insecure soft arse that I was at the time decided to stay with her for another 2 months and kept it a secret to save face. 

 

Pretty open about it now though. It was an important life lesson to value my own worth and not just start a relationship because I felt that was what I should be doing. Saw a lot of the world thanks to that attitude. 

 

Plus her new fellas from Newton Le Willows and wears primark batman T shirts. Serves her right, the bint.

[VladimirIlyich]

11 hours ago, Mike D said:

Has anyone ever had a camera up your japs eye? 
 

I have and it fucking kills.

 

Carry on.

Yep,a few times. After the first time I now make sure I have a General Anaesthetic.

[Carvalho Diablo]

8 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

Has anyone ever had their date walk out on them?

 

Years who, I was seeing a lovely young woman and things were going pretty well. For her birthday, I booked theatre tickets and a hotel room in London. However, I got so drunk, when we returned to the hotel, I left her in the room and took to riding up and down in the lift, rolling out commando-style and throwing imaginary grenades, then rolling back in. Unbeknown to me at the time, she came out of the room, saw what I was doing, packed her overnight bag and left. Suffice to say, there were no further dates.

Yes. Strange tale this one...

 

I think I was around 20 at the time and bang into this blonde lass called Leigh, we'd messed around a few times but she was seeing this ex jailbird from Middlesbrough and I was desperate to seal the deal.

 

Anyway, one of the regulars in my local got this bus trip up to Newcastle Mayfair one Saturday night and I'd heard that Leigh was going up with her mate Amanda so I bought a ticket and up we all went. However, as soon as I got on the bus it was apparent that my plans had taken a blow because my intended have fucking lover boy in tow with her. Bollocks.

 

The Mayfair was always great though, good music and always a ton of fanny knocking around. I was sat having a drink when this other blonde lass who'd travelled up there with us, Tracey, grabs my shoulder and drags me over to this dark corner.

 

So, this Tracey bird was the cousin of one of the other lad's gfs, and she'd only recently started coming round with us all. She was really quiet and I'd barely said two words to her before but she was bang tidy and I knew for a fact that this South African lad, Powell, was completely besotted with her...and he was a fucking prize arsehole, I couldn't stand him.

 

So anyway, she pins me against this wall and she's straight in with the tongue and her hand has grabbed my wedding tackle. I'm like, fucking hell, wtf is going on here. I've got my eyes open and I can see that Leigh is giving me daggers from her table so I push Tracey off me and ask her what's going on. She lays it on thick telling me how much she likes me but the horny fucking idiot I am / was tells her that although I like her too (diplomatically trying not to burn my bridges), I'm actually "sort of seeing someone else".

 

Instead of kneeing my in the bollocks though, Tracey just stood there smiling at me for an uncomfortable amount of seconds before we both walked slowly back over to our tables. A very strange and confusing few minutes in young Carvalho's life, let me assure you.

 

The rest of the evening was uneventful and quite disappointing tbh, we all piled back on the bus and headed back home, horny as fuck with balls like watermelons.

 

Next day, I discovered that Tracey had shoved her phone number into the back pocket of my jeans.

 

Monday morning turns up and I'm talking to my brother about what had happened up at Newcastle and he lets slip that the South African arsehole, Powell (who was good mates with our kidder), had made a move on Tracey and was planning to take her out the coming weekend.

 

Fuck that, 2 birds, one stone, gift horses and mouths etc and I'm straight on the phone to Tracey and telling her that I'd had a good time on Saturday and asked her if she'd fancy going out for a drink that Friday night (even though I knew I was engineering a late session at the recording studio I was working at at the time). Perhaps surprisingly, perhaps not, she was keen for me to pick her up, so the date was set. Phone down, rubs hands together, fuck you Mr Powell.

 

Problems problems problems, the session ran over by half an hour or so, could I fuck find her house, so by the time I knocked on her door I was already the better part of an hour late. Tracey had a bit of a face on her, but to her credit she never moaned, or gave me an ear full, and from what I can remember now, some 30 years removed, she looked and smelled great. I, on the other hand, had just finished a 14 hour session, and was wearing the same tatty old gear I'd been rolling around the floor in, micing up drum kits etc.

 

To make matters worse (!) I had a bit of a drink problem back then and I was fucking gasping for a few pints so I didn't even ask her where she fancied going, I just fucking blasted down to my regular Friday night pub, The Park, where I knew all my mates would be. I slammed the car door and almost ran to the bar without her tbh.

 

Inside the boozer, I bought Tracey a drink and we went to sit down near to my mates, who wasted no time in winding me up about having this new bird in tow. Powell (who was a complete and utter tee totaller, to this day I still believe that a single drop of alcohol has never passed that weird cunts lips), he was there and he was visibly shaken, giving me daggers, but fuck him the prick. Kerching.

 

Anyway, I remember that there was also this really tall blonde fella standing in the doorway entrance to the big lounge area where we were (I'm 6 foot 4 and he was quite a bit bigger than me), he was with 2 mates and they too were staring over daggers at me!

 

Tracey looked decidedly uncomfortable and I asked her what was going on. She told me it was her ex, a fella named Stuey. He was vaguely familiar, I think our kid sort of knew him. I told her to forget the cunt and I'd get her another drink in, and I headed to the bar.

 

When I come back though...her seat is empty.

 

I look round and see her arguing with this ex in the doorway / passageway, nowt especially nasty but defo an argument, so I'm straight over and front the big cunt up, asking her if she's ok. She says she's alright and she just has something she needs to sort out with him first. I tell them both that I'll be sat just up in the corner with my mates, give him the old Carvalho stare, and leave it at that.

 

I get back to my seat and my mate Chutty asks wtf is going on. I tell him the best I can, although my mind is a bit frazzled, I'm still gasping for a few more drinks, I'm tired as fuck from work, horny as fuck cos I still want to get my end away with Leigh or Tracey (not too bothered at this point), chuffed cos I'd fucked Powell over, and pissed off because this bird who I didn't really give 2 fucks about if I was honest, seemed to be dragging me into something with her 6 foot 7 "ex fella".

 

So what did young Carvalho do? Got several more drinks in and had a laugh with my mates before the last orders bell rang.

 

When it did get clanked however, I went to see if Tracey wanted to go on somewhere else or go home...but neither she nor her ex nor his mates were anywhere to be seen. I remember waiting outside the pub for a good while and driving around the town centre to see if I could see her / them. I didn't want her or her family giving me any shit because I'd abandoned her. Turned out she'd just fucked off and fucked me off.

 

I didn't need that extra shit in my life back then tbh so it was a relief to put that whole episode / disastrous first date behind me.

 

A few further notes regarding this peculiar episode; the following Thursday in my regular Thursday night nightclub The Gemini, this ex if Tracey's, Stuey, showed up and asked for a word. He very politely asked if I'd been pestering her to go out with me, because they were still very much "an item" and had 3 kids together!!! I told him that it was her who'd made the move on me, up at Newcasa couple of weeks previously when she was all over me like a fucking rash, and I'd only taken her out because I'd wanted to get one over on that spotty South African twat Powell. I also told this Stuey that he was welcome to her, and that was the last I ever saw of him.

 

Regarding the blonde lass Leigh (who weirdly was born on the exact same date as me, in the exact same maternity hospital), yes, of course I did, but it was such a let down tbh. I remember our kidder finding her knickers in the back of my car. Halcyon days indeed.

 

And as for Tracey? Well me and her have been happily married for the past 25 years and have 3 lovely children together; Leigh, Stuey and baby Powell with his terrible nappy rash. (This part may or may not be true)

[Carvalho Diablo]

Have you ever...fallen asleep somewhere in public?

[Bjornebye]

Just now, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...fallen asleep somewhere in public?

Yes a few times. Most notably Exeter St David’s train station on the platform when the train to Plymouth decided Exeter was its last stop it half 1 in the morning. I was pissed thankfully. 

[VladimirIlyich]

2 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Have you ever...fallen asleep somewhere in public?

I wish I could. Those people who can fall asleep almost anywhere are heroes of mine.