Premier League Round Up (Oct 22-24 2021)

[tlw content]

I said last week how great it is when you play first and win, and then get to sit back and watch how the other games unfold. This week it was different as we were the second to last game of the weekend and virtually everyone else had already played, but spare a thought for poor Everton. 

 

They played at 3pm on Saturday, had the most humiliating of losses at home to Watford in the Z Cars derby and then had to endure us spanking United at Old Trafford 24 hours later. What a prolonged weekend of misery for them. Still, they did get to be first on MOTD so they should take some comfort in that as they’re always complaining about being overlooked.

 

How funny is that though. When they win a game they’re usually on last and they’re annoyed that not everyone will get to see it as they’ll have tuned out after their own team has been on. The Blues crave recognition from others you see. The one time they get to lead off the show in front of a national audience is when they concede four goals in the last 15 minutes to shit the bed at home to a team that lost 5-0 to us a week before. Tremendous.

 

There’s more though. Josh King played for Everton and failed to score a single goal (because he never even started a game). He leaves, comes back with his new club and bangs in a Goodison hat-trick. I feel like that’s close to being peak Everton, but the season is still young and they might just be getting started.

 

They had no idea this was coming either. Tom Davies gave them a dream start when he put them ahead after just a couple of minutes. This was the little gnome’s first start of the season as he put down his fishing rod, dragged himself off his toadstool and took himself down to Goodison.

 

King equalised from close range and didn’t celebrate, even though he was only with Everton for six months and they didn’t even give him a start in his time there. Then the Blues started cheering as it went to VAR for an offside check. The goal stood though. Last season that would have been disallowed I reckon as it was really tight. 

 

Rafa subbed Anthony Gordon who was playing well. The crowd didn’t like that and the boo birds were out in force, but Richarlison (the man who came on) scored to put them in front. Of course HE celebrated massively against his old club because he’s a genuinely despicable little cunt.

 

Then Rafa subbed Demarai Gray for Alex Iwobi. That’s like the Rock laying the smack down and tagging in the Brooklyn Brawler to finish the job. I said last week Iwobi might be the worst player in the league, but he’s probably more receptive to Rafa’s chess game instructions and with a one goal lead to protect, Benitez is always going to stick rather than twist.

 

He made the defensive minded change and they lost 5-2. Kucka headed the equaliser from a corner and then Everton just folded like a cheap suit. King made it 3-2 with a really composed finish. This time, probably after seeing the carry on from Richarlison, he celebrated. Off came the shirt and he ran to the Watford fans in that corner.

 

There were still 10 minutes left for Everton to find an equaliser. Instead they conceded two more as King bagged his third and then Dennis really rubbed salt in the wounds by making it 5-2. Everton’s defending in those closing stages was every bit as woeful as Maguire and Shaw did the day after. Gloriously shit.

 

The boos at full time from those that stayed were worthy of anything we’ve heard from them before. There’s nothing quite like a chorus of Goodison boos. There’s no sweeter sound. At one end of the noise scale you have the hideous, nasal drone from a United away end, and then at the other is the Goodison boo chorus. 

 

This is exactly the kind of thing I expected when Rafa took that job and it’s why I was all in on the idea. It was only ever going to end in tears for them and provide wonderful entertainment for us. He’s doing his best to win them over with his blue car and blue suits, and his little Everton pin badge on his lapel. Pure cringe and utterly pointless as it won’t work.

 

The really mad thing about Rafa’s time there so far is he hasn’t even done the one thing you take for granted with him. Defensively they’re fucking woeful. Evertonians might put that down to players not being good enough, but a coach like Rafa, sorry Rafael, should be able to work with the likes of Keane, Godfrey, Coleman and Digne. It’s not like they’re all fucking hopeless.

 

You have to wonder, if Rafa can no longer make a team defensively secure then what’s the point of him, as he was never any good at the other side of the game.

 

Rafa probably wants the sack now though. Big payoff and a return to Newcastle where he can spend all that Saudi cash. He’ll need to be careful though if he starts his usual political games with the board. “I asked for a sofa and they bought me a lamp. And then they chopped my hands off”.

 

 

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[alles ist gut]

Top, top “Cornet is at Burnley as part of a witness protection scheme or something” analysis there, Dave.

[Tj hooker]

Brilliant that Dave some really good laugh out loud moments in there 

[DaveT]

Excellent stuff.

That first City goal gets disallowed 19 times out of 20. Jesus is not lookig at the goalie, but the end result is the same - he jumps into him, causing him to spill the ball. Compare that to the challenge by Virgil on De Gea a couple of years ago, where he barely makes contact, if at all, yet the ensuing goal was still disallowed .

[dave u]

2 hours ago, DaveT said:

Excellent stuff.

That first City goal gets disallowed 19 times out of 20. Jesus is not lookig at the goalie, but the end result is the same - he jumps into him, causing him to spill the ball. Compare that to the challenge by Virgil on De Gea a couple of years ago, where he barely makes contact, if at all, yet the ensuing goal was still disallowed .

 

I would say that Jesus doesn't foul the keeper and the decision was right. The keeper was a bad fanny there. He jumped into Jesus as much as Jesus jumped into him.

 

I agree it would usually be disallowed but I don't think it should be.

[Erik T]

«His name is pronounced “Gay” you see. Geddit? Yeah not my finest, but my head is all over the place with this Newcastle thing, I’m so angry I can’t even think straight, let alone live up to my usually sky high standard of gags.»

 

Well, yeah, you missed one obvious gag there...

[dave u]

22 minutes ago, Erik T said:

«His name is pronounced “Gay” you see. Geddit? Yeah not my finest, but my head is all over the place with this Newcastle thing, I’m so angry I can’t even think straight, let alone live up to my usually sky high standard of gags.»

 

Well, yeah, you missed one obvious gag there...

Or did I?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah I did!

[Erik T]

An admission straight from the horse’s mouth! 

[rb14]

On 28/10/2021 at 22:20, tlw content said:

Walcott... ...should just fuck football off and become a model for Matalan.

So, just the modelling contract to organise. 

 

[Peter Cormack]

Atrocious Brighton analysis Dave, looks like pep was nearer the mark, the rest was as good as usual

[Through Ball]

That Tom Davies looks like he's never had a shower in his life. If he wasn't playing football he'd be barefoot in the forest hugging trees