Can Martin Samuel get any lower?

[VladimirIlyich]

He will be as low as he'll ever be once his overwork ticker gives out,unless he invests in a gastric band the cunt.

[stringvest]

On 23/10/2021 at 14:08, Jimmy Hills Chin said:

He’s safe in the knowledge that it’d never happen to him, you’d need a fucking lightsaber to dismember that lardy twat.

He should be spatchcocked and draped over the O2 dome as a warning, and as food for the bird population of the UK over the winter.

[sir roger]

I'm not sure his belly can

[gkmacca]

He's the Richard Madeley of sports journalism. 

[Pete]

3 minutes ago, gkmacca said:

He's the Richard Madeley of sports journalism. 

Has he gotten away with stealing wine from the Co-op too by crying his eyes out when questioned by the cops?? 

[polymerpunkah]

His writing reminds me of those Everton wierdos on GOT.

[Trumo]

7 hours ago, polymerpunkah said:

His writing reminds me of those Everton wierdos on GOT.

 

You'll have to be more specific.

[Jimmy Hills Chin]

42 minutes ago, Trumo said:

 

You'll have to be more specific.

https://tenor.com/view/everyone-gary-oldman-gif-5922498

[gkmacca]

16 hours ago, Pete said:

Has he gotten away with stealing wine from the Co-op too by crying his eyes out when questioned by the cops?? 

Samuel would have drunk and eaten anything he was planning to nick long before he reached the exit. I used to watch him on that Sunday Supplement thing and it clearly took all the self-control he possessed not to start munching on the plastic croissants.

[manwiththestick]

7 hours ago, gkmacca said:

Samuel would have drunk and eaten anything he was planning to nick long before he reached the exit. I used to watch him on that Sunday Supplement thing and it clearly took all the self-control he possessed not to start munching on the plastic croissants.

Arr, good old Sunday Supplement.

 

Just woke up?

Got a hangover and the taste of last night's kebab still in your throat?

Feel like boiled shite?

Wanna make it even worse?

 

Turn on Sky Sports and watch a bunch of cunts who have never been near a football pontificating on how foreign managers don't understand the English game.

[Em City]

Sticky Toffee pudding
The headline on Martin Samuel’s latest in the Daily Mail: ‘If Vitor Pereira and Fabio Cannavaro are on the shortlist, Everton really ARE in a mess… what credentials do either have to prove they are the man to navigate this relegation fight?’

Phenomenal stuff from the man who wrote at length last week that Everton should appoint Wayne Rooney and keep him in charge until 2024 at least regardless of whether he leads them to relegation. If they follow that plan, they really ARE in a mess.

[Anubis]

Some ‘fascinating’ insight into his personal life here.

 

 

[Mudface]

2 hours ago, Anubis said:

Some ‘fascinating’ insight into his personal life here.

 

 

 

Full, and completely pointless article here- https://archive.is/mHBdg

 

I half expected a Private Eye style note about three quarters of the way through asking if he'd met the word count yet.

[manwiththestick]

2 hours ago, Anubis said:

Some ‘fascinating’ insight into his personal life here.

 

 

He'd be bigging her up to fuck if she was play at the Emptyhad this summer.

[Bobby Hundreds]

Fella down the road has had new windows fitted, good for him but I won't be washing them.

 

What am I a fucking window cleaner!

[coachpotato]

Prefers Dolly Parton’s version of Stairway to Heaven than the original?

Now I do like some of her stuff, and she appears to be a good sort but Bluto is showing his colours there.
Buffoon. 

[Lee909]

1 minute ago, coachpotato said:

Prefers Dolly Parton’s version of Stairway to Heaven than the original?

Now I do like some of her stuff, and she appears to be a good sort but Bluto is showing his colours there.
Buffoon. 

 

I've read this twice to make sure, as I will stand no slander of Dolly. 

 

Brilliant sing writer and a incredible woman. 

 

What is Dolly Parton's book program?

 

Each month, Dolly Parton's Imagination Library mails a high quality, age appropriate book to all registered children, addressed to them, at no cost to the child's family

 

As of November 2023, Dolly's childhood literacy program has gifted over 224 million books to children across the U.S., Canada, the U.K., Australia, and the Republic of Ireland

 

 

 

 

 

[Ron B]

3 hours ago, Lee909 said:

 

I've read this twice to make sure, as I will stand no slander of Dolly. 

 

Brilliant sing writer and a incredible woman. 

 

What is Dolly Parton's book program?

 

Each month, Dolly Parton's Imagination Library mails a high quality, age appropriate book to all registered children, addressed to them, at no cost to the child's family

 

As of November 2023, Dolly's childhood literacy program has gifted over 224 million books to children across the U.S., Canada, the U.K., Australia, and the Republic of Ireland

 

 

 

 

 

Dolly is great but her version of Stairway is not a patch on Led Zep’s original. 
Her only downside is that she wears the same size bra as Martin Samuel. 

[sir roger]

Dolly wrote Jolene and I Will Always Love You on the same afternoon. Not a bad day's work.

[Lee909]

19 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Dolly wrote Jolene and I Will Always Love You on the same afternoon. Not a bad day's work.

 

 

Forbes reckons she earns between 6-8ml a year in royalties of Jolene and 9 to 5 alone, some suggestions of over 10ml a year from I will always live you. She owns her whole catalogue of music as she opened her own publishing company when she was 20 to keep control of it. 

[Reckoner]

9 hours ago, Lee909 said:

 

 

Forbes reckons she earns between 6-8ml a year in royalties of Jolene and 9 to 5 alone, some suggestions of over 10ml a year from I will always live you. She owns her whole catalogue of music as she opened her own publishing company when she was 20 to keep control of it. 

And people say she’s just a big pair of tits. I saw her at an exclusive private gig, very intimate for me and the other half a million people there at the Pyramid stage. She killed it.

[Bruce Spanner]

Dolly Parton is an astonishing human, even with all her remarkable achievements and awards, she still leads a wildly normal life with her husband.

 

She is completely unrecognisable without the 'costume' and goes about a reasonably normal life anonymously.

[Tj hooker]

A woman  i knew who worked in a small pharmacy in Abersoch,  well her son moved to the States to become one of her PAs .

She told me that Dolly was a fabulous boss and looked after her employees very well,   I was a bit sceptical till she showed me a picture of them all together backstage at some festival in Tennesse 

[Reckoner]

6 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Dolly Parton is an astonishing human, even with all her remarkable achievements and awards, she still leads a wildly normal life with her husband.

 

She is completely unrecognisable without the 'costume' and goes about a reasonably normal life anonymously.

Alright Brendan, chill out.

Word on the street is Taylor Swift in inconsolable about Samuel’s diss.
 

[manwiththestick]

Parton is boss and deserves more than some off-track posts in a thread about that waste of considerable space.