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Atlético Madrid (A) - CL, Tue 19th Oct 2021 (8:00pm)

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And so on to what UEFA calls Matchday 3 in the Champions League - the first of a double-header against a team we never seem to beat. Even when we play well, we lose. It doesn't matter if it's a European tie or a pre-season friendly, we just never seem to get the better of the other big side from the Spanish capital. That has to change. So:

 

Spark. Overloads. Intensity. Lucidity. Energy. Drive. Moxie. Affrontery. Tactical awareness. Tenacity. Resolve. Effervescence. Speed. Skill.

 

I don't ask for much.

 

Our last trip to the Metropolitano saw us put in a dreadful performance, losing 1-0 in the first leg of the round of 16 two seasons ago. Saul Niguez scored the only gal early after we made a hash of defending a corner. Our first ever meeting against the 'Colchoneros' was in the Champions League group stage of 2008/09, in late October 2008. We travelled to the Vicente Calderon stadium having made an unbeaten start both domesically and in Europe, and for the first hour or so, the Spanish side simply could not get going. They had an attacking threat with the trio of Forlan, Aguero and Simao, but it was Liverpool having the better of the game. Robbie Keane raced through the middle of a relatively high defensive line in the first half to open the scoring after a pinpoint through-ball. The last half an hour saw Atletico get a foothold, and they got an equaliser late on through Simao, and that's how it finished. We needed to be more ruthless, even though we were without Atletico old boy El Nino - then arguably the world's best centre forward.

 

 

In late October 2008, High School Musical 3: Senior Year was top at the box office. These are films I've never watched, but I imagine it's similar fare to the TV show Glee which I've also never watched. Musical numbers set around bog-standard American high school tropes. Jock, nerds, prom queens, the usual shit. It does have the lovely Vanessa Hudgens in it though, so there's that.

 

 

We definitely need to reverse the recent trend of our visits to Spain. We've fared pretty badly when facing Spanish opposition away from home over the past decade. We had an excellent first half against Sevilla on their own match but got it badly wrong in the second. We conceded a last-minute winner at Villarreal. There were the two dogshit displays against Real Madrid in 2014 and last season. Atletico seem to get goals any time we have any sort of defensive lapse, and they are often helped out by refereeing that allows them to ramp up the shithousery when they feel things might be slipping away from their control. It's like facing the footballing equivalent of Novak Djokovic. Just reverse the trend, get the 3 points and put ourselves in a great position with one foot in the knockout stage.

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Just about the worst possible game ahead of a trip to the toilet next weekend.

 

Horrible shithouses, snide, dirty, hard to play against and have lots of quality too on top.

 

Just hoping we come away with a result and importantly no injuries ahead of the aforementioned trip to the toilet.

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I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this could be a tougher challenge than Watford.  These have been our Achilles' Gil* in Europe - in 6 meetings, we've only beaten them once, but we lost the tie, so it doesn't even count; it's about time we got one over on them.

 

Just get these bat, Reds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*See what I did there?

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Back to reality with the timely reminder that UK number 1 at the time of the above mentioned tie was this weepy love ballad from Val Doonican dopple-ganger and all round sex pot P!NK. This song featured on the first ever episode of Points of View when Henry Drinkwater from telford sent a letter in complaining that she scared his child with the line "I'm gonna eat you in your sleep you honking little cunt" which never actually appeared on the album version but Radio 2 accidentally used the B-Side version. Anne Robinson shit herself when she first heard it so Richard Madeley had to present instead. 

 

 

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52 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Back to reality with the timely reminder that UK number 1 at the time of the above mentioned tie was this weepy love ballad from Val Doonican dopple-ganger and all round sex pot P!NK. This song featured on the first ever episode of Points of View when Henry Drinkwater from telford sent a letter in complaining that she scared his child with the line "I'm gonna eat you in your sleep you honking little cunt" which never actually appeared on the album version but Radio 2 accidentally used the B-Side version. Anne Robinson shit herself when she first heard it so Richard Madeley had to present instead. 

 

 

Someone once pointed out that you can sing "Jeremy Bernard Corbyn coming to fuck you up" to this, which would be a preferable chant to the Seven Nation Army one.

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2 hours ago, manwiththestick said:

Hi Brendan.

Hahah

 

We never won 2 out of 2 in Europe with that bellend in charge, did we?

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10 hours ago, Jordy Brouwer said:

I'm not greedy. A 1-0 win an no injuries will be fine. 

I hope we absolutely fucking snot them. They fluked a lucky win at their gaff with a goal they didnt know anything about and they were going out until Adrian's brain farts at Anfield.

 

5 fucking nil again please boys!

 

 

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2 hours ago, dockers_strike said:

I hope we absolutely fucking snot them. They fluked a lucky win at their gaff with a goal they didnt know anything about and they were going out until Adrian's brain farts at Anfield.

 

5 fucking nil again please boys!

 

 

Philosophical question - would you take a 1-0 with no injuries or a 5-0 with an injury?

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A draw and no injuries would be good, horrible cunts these, then onto the other horrible cunts Sunday. 

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11 hours ago, an tha said:

Still no Thiago....

Great footballer, but he's the anti-Gini in terms of durability and availability, which isn't ideal in a pretty small squad. 

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