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YorkshireRed

Resilience (The ability to bounce back)

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3 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Life is tough at the moment for many people, it’s been tough for a while and it could get worse before it gets better. 
 

I suspect that more and more people who’d previously been able to ‘roll with the punches’ will start to find it harder to pick themselves up and carry on. Certainly not without help. 
 

Their resilience levels are low, the bucket is empty…

 

This thread isn’t posing a question, asking you to vote on anything or intending to stimulate debate. 
 

It’s just whatever you want it to be. 

Sounds to me like you're volunteering to assassinate current, key government figures and I think I speak for everyone here when I say we're right behind you!

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1 hour ago, johnsusername said:

Sounds to me like you're volunteering to assassinate current, key government figures and I think I speak for everyone here when I say we're right behind you!

It's Bommy night in a few weeks.

 

Just a thought........

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2 hours ago, littletedwest said:

To be honest last few years have knocked my resilience. Feel like a boxer who's taken one too many blows and has lost his punch resistance 

Same here

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1 hour ago, Harry's Lad said:

It's Bommy night in a few weeks.

.....

Last Bommy night (or was it the on before?), Liverpool were playing at home. I had tickets. I picked my mate up as usual and parked up at the bottom of Everton Valley.

 

As we walked through the park there were groups of friends and families having little firework parties. It was pleasant, but I gotta be honest...no-one was following the firework code. Rockets were coming in from all angles. So it was with some relief when we came towards the end of the park that I saw a man in a Hi-Visibility vest. At last some authority. Someone who had prepared to do this stuff safely. With that he grimaced, sucked in some air, took a ciggy out of his mouth, and reached down with the cigarette to light 4 rocket-air-bomb-repeaters - three of which promptly fell over pointing directly at a baby in a pram.

 

Through thickening smoke I could just about make out the figure of a man in a hi-vis jacket, leaning into a pram, bodily protecting the baby within from the onslaught of repeating air bombs - shouting expletives that a baby shouldn't really hear. As I fled (pretty nimbly for a 50-year-old) up the hill, I could see the silhouette of my 6 foot 4 inch mate hiding behind a tiny sapling - a look of fright on his face as rockets whizzed past his ears.

 

We bravely we hid for a while, then fled.

   

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3 minutes ago, Jennings said:

Last Bommy night (or was it the on before?), Liverpool were playing at home. I had tickets. I picked my mate up as usual and parked up at the bottom of Everton Valley.

 

As we walked through the park there were groups of friends and families having little firework parties. It was pleasant, but I gotta be honest...no-one was following the firework code. Rockets were coming in from all angles. So it was with some relief when we came towards the end of the park that I saw a man in a hi-vis vest. At last some authority. Someone who had prepared to do this stuff safely. With that he grimaced, sucked in some air, took a ciggy out of his mouth, and reached down with the cigarette to light 4 rocket-air-bomb-repeaters - three of which promptly fell over pointing directly at a baby in a pram.

 

Through thickening smoke I could just about make out the figure of a man in a hi-vis jacket, leaning into a pram, bodily protecting the baby within from the onslaught of repeating air bombs - shouting expletives that a baby shouldn't really hear. As I fled (pretty nimbly for a 50-year-old) up the hill, I could see the silhouette of my 6 foot 4 inch mate hiding behind a tiny sapling - a look of fright on his face as rockets whizzed past his ears.

 

We bravely we hid for a while, then fled.

   

I posted on here a few weeks ago about me hating Bommy night ever since dragging a kid off a fire when I was 17.

I'm no killjoy, but if I had my way I'd ban bonfires and the general sale of fireworks to the public, preferring properly organised and safe displays.

There has always been idiots, but there are far too many inconsiderate and reckless people these days.

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12 minutes ago, Jennings said:

Last Bommy night (or was it the on before?), Liverpool were playing at home. I had tickets. I picked my mate up as usual and parked up at the bottom of Everton Valley.

 

As we walked through the park there were groups of friends and families having little firework parties. It was pleasant, but I gotta be honest...no-one was following the firework code. Rockets were coming in from all angles. So it was with some relief when we came towards the end of the park that I saw a man in a Hi-Visibility vest. At last some authority. Someone who had prepared to do this stuff safely. With that he grimaced, sucked in some air, took a ciggy out of his mouth, and reached down with the cigarette to light 4 rocket-air-bomb-repeaters - three of which promptly fell over pointing directly at a baby in a pram.

 

Through thickening smoke I could just about make out the figure of a man in a hi-vis jacket, leaning into a pram, bodily protecting the baby within from the onslaught of repeating air bombs - shouting expletives that a baby shouldn't really hear. As I fled (pretty nimbly for a 50-year-old) up the hill, I could see the silhouette of my 6 foot 4 inch mate hiding behind a tiny sapling - a look of fright on his face as rockets whizzed past his ears.

 

We bravely we hid for a while, then fled.

   

Fuckin fireworks are a pointless nuisance and should only be sold to those with a licence. Its also typical for the country to celebrate a failed plot to burn down its largest house of ill repute.

Literally a minute after originally posting this some knobhead sets off a load of fireworks!

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13 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

A fireworks license??

 

Red Phoenix needs to get on this - far more intrusive - fireworks are a right.

A permit to only use them in organised displays and not sell them to any scrote that wants to buy them as easily as a loaf of bread. They are a fuckin menace.

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4 hours ago, littletedwest said:

To be honest last few years have knocked my resilience. Feel like a boxer who's taken one too many blows and has lost his punch resistance 

You'll bounce back mate.

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I feel like I've been bouncing baxk ever since I was discharged from hospital last Christmas time. Albeit, ever so gradually, and it often feels like a case of one step forward and one step back, but honestly it's a very gradual process. Keep fighting, don't give in.

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It is tough out there and I appreciate I’m very lucky. But a few of years ago I had a little ‘crisis of confidence’ due to a number of things. It’s nothing compared to what some people have to deal with and it all felt very trivial. but everyone has their own battles and I used to put push mine to the side as I didn’t think it was anything to complain about until it got a little much. It’s ok to accept that you aren’t 100% sometimes and try and do something about it.
 

@cochyn had it right up there it’s not about getting back to where you were but accepting that experiences shape you and moving forward from there. You can’t turn back the clock but you can control what you do next.

 

what helped me was working on my self more. I started to meditate and to be honest that really opened up a load of stuff for me. It feels pointless when you start and it’s really hard to quiet the mind. But I found a really good group that did guided meditation that used music, movement and breath work (it sounds awfully wanky but it worked). I met some great people but it’s also made me much calmer, I don’t get as frustrated as quickly and I actually like myself a lot more. I recommend meditation to anyone and that doesn’t mean just sitting in silence it can be achieved a number of ways. Breath work, movement, music even colouring in or drawing have medative qualities to them. 

 

In terms of building resilience the meditation was great but so was just simply moving, I started walking a lot more (especially during lockdown) and the best bit is getting away from screens and the constant flow of information.
 

That was a real game changer for me. It’s too easy to be connected and flicking through the same few apps that reinforce a false view of the world where everyone is doing amazing and having fun but you. What you have to understand is it’s just a curated view that isn’t real or the constant doom scrolling that is the news.
 

Those two together also helped me get to the point of actually being motivated to properly working out and I found that exercise not only helps the body but works wonders for the mind too. Do it groups, do it alone whatever works best for you. 
 

this ended up meandering a little but there are numerous ways to help build resilience. There’s some good ted talks and some great podcasts on this kind of stuff. Sometimes the first few steps are the hardest.

 

If I had to sum it up, it’s accept the challenges you face, understand it’s ok to work on them and try to do something about it. Doing nothing will just result in the same outcome that got you there. So what have you got to lose?

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1 hour ago, Stouffer said:

You're not going to start banging on about gardners agian are you?

Gardening is a great calming influence in my life. Puts you back in touch with life. That said, slugs drive me insane. 

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14 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Gardening is a great calming influence in my life. Puts you back in touch with life. That said, slugs drive me insane. 

When I was a kid I had a pet slug called Arnold who lived by my old fella's greenhouse.

 

 

 

I'll get me coat....

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A bit of advice that might help: cold showers.

 

There's evidence that if you take regular cold showers (say, turning the water to cold for the last minute of your daily shower) it improves mental health, your immune system and your circulation.

 

It also keeps your swearing vocabulary from getting rusty 

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4 hours ago, A Red said:

Don't be a victim, deal with the stuff you have control over.

The prayer of St. Augustine.

 

Grant me the courage to change what I can change, the serenity to accept what I can't change and the wisdom to know the difference.

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5 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

A bit of advice that might help: cold showers.

 

There's evidence that if you take regular cold showers (say, turning the water to cold for the last minute of your daily shower) it improves mental health, your immune system and your circulation.

 

It also keeps your swearing vocabulary from getting rusty 

I think you’re making a big assumption that the population of the GF takes daily showers. 

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7 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

A bit of advice that might help: cold showers.

 

There's evidence that if you take regular cold showers (say, turning the water to cold for the last minute of your daily shower) it improves mental health, your immune system and your circulation.

 

It also keeps your swearing vocabulary from getting rusty 

This is correct. Although not everyone’s cup of tea, or even accessible to all, the same goes for open water swimming. 

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I find my to do lists very calming. Write down all the things/issues in your life and take small measures every day to address them. Makes you feel more in control. 

Secondly try to cut negative people out of your life or at least accept its their issue not yours. Like the ignore button on here but in real life. I haven’t seen one of my sisters for decades now because she’s just toxic. It’s very liberating. The rest of the family suffer her pointlessly. 
 

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1 hour ago, Captain Willard said:

Grave-digging in my garden is a great calming influence in my life. Puts you in touch with the after- life. That said, slugs drive me insane. 

.

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Taking this place with a pinch of salt helps. So what if someone you'll probably never meet disagrees with you or calls you a cunt? There are nearly 8 billion people in the world; you don't need approval from all of them.

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Have a goal/project , doesnt matter what it is, overhaul the garden, paint the hall, whatever, and take little steps every day towards it. Great for mental health and for getting things done.

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2 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

I find my to do lists very calming. Write down all the things/issues in your life and take small measures every day to address them. Makes you feel more in control. 

Secondly try to cut negative people out of your life or at least accept its their issue not yours. Like the ignore button on here but in real life. I haven’t seen one of my sisters for decades now because she’s just toxic. It’s very liberating. The rest of the family suffer her pointlessly. 
 

Oh so true. But very difficult if they are 'family' members.

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I always used to think this is what separates the truly successful from the rest of us mortals. Now not so sure

Look at someone like Trump who's had a million setbacks that seemingly bounced off him to no effect. That sort of thing is just psychotic and not normal or healthy.

Similar to the useless tub of lard Johnson

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