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Things You’ve Seen & Done That Will Always Stay With You

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6 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

1. Went white rafting down the Ganges in the foothills of Himalyas for a week, carried all our food and sleeping under the boat. Amazing stars at night but the water was fucking freezing (melted snow) and nearly drowned twice.

 

2. Took Mrs Kurtz to NY and arranged to travel in via the subway so her first experience of New York was emerging into Times square at about 7pm on a summer friday night. 

 

3. Saw the Smiths at the GLC fun day. Spent all day perched on a window ledge about 30 foot up and getting progressively more drunk. 

 

4. Crashed a formula 3 racing car trying to take a sharp right corner at about 70 mph. This was last month. 

 

 

No 2 sounds brilliant. 

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1 minute ago, Elite said:

Quite a specialised collar I'd imagine, unless he just attached a lead to one of those plastic rings that used to be on 4/6 packs of beer.

It was a slip-lead by the looks of it mate. I mean, I hadn’t slept in 48 hours plus and was basically that guy in the Roger Moore Bond films who used to look at his bottle of grog then back at Bond’s car as it drove out of the ocean, then back at the bottle, so I wouldn’t put myself at risk of purjery over this, but I’m pretty sure it was a slip-lead.

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3 minutes ago, Dr Nowt said:

It was a slip-lead by the looks of it mate. I mean, I hadn’t slept in 48 hours plus and was basically that guy in the Roger Moore Bond films who used to look at his bottle of grog then back at Bond’s car as it drove out of the ocean, then back at the bottle, so I wouldn’t put myself at risk of purjery over this, but I’m pretty sure it was a slip-lead.

I'd have laughed my head off seeing that.

 

I saw a dog (Jack Russell, mongrel type) outside an Aldi in Bolton a few weeks ago, with its hair spiked-up in a Mohican died pink. I found that hilarious and depressing at the same time.

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5 minutes ago, Elite said:

I'd have laughed my head off seeing that.

 

I saw a dog (Jack Russell, mongrel type) outside an Aldi in Bolton a few weeks ago, with its hair spiked-up in a Mohican died pink. I found that hilarious and depressing at the same time.

I was absolutely pissing myself mate. Just perfect, particularly for that sort of trip away with a group of mates. 
 

Fuck’s sake. I get that, you can’t help but laugh. Can’t deny I’d quite like to see whoever did it get hit by a car though.

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1. Sunrise at the Angkor Wat temples in Cambodia was pretty special. 

 

2. The Killing Fields was sobering.

 

3. Arriving in Vietnam in the middle of the night with the roads still jam packed with scooters.

 

4. Oktoberfest. All of it. 

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A night-time walk around Karnak Temple in Luxor, Egypt. Followed by a light show. 

 

The light show was alright. But, walking around the temple was much better. The darkness, with the only light being from the guide's torches, added to the whole experience. Hard to explain, but it just felt really spiritual and mystical. 

 

The whole Egypt thing was amazing, to be fair. 

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Oh, and getting elbowed in the head by Jan Molby when I was a mere whippersnapper. 

 

And hearing somebody get shot and murdered and being able to see the dead body, from the chest down, from my ma's bathroom window. He was lying in the patio doorway of the house backing onto ours, across the entry. He was working out in the local gym. Blokes ran in to get him. He managed to get out and burst into a house in the next street to ours. They chased him in there and shot him. I was dozing off when it happened and woke up to a clapping sound. Followed by another 3 or 4 similar claps. My ma asked if it was fireworks. I said that it didn't sound like and that I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't hear sirens soon as it was a really unique sound that I'd never heard before and I had a strong feeling that it was gunshots. A minute or so later, the local streets were full of police sirens. We went out for a nose, heard what had happened, so looked out the bathroom window and there he was, dead on the floor. Surreal. 

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19 minutes ago, Nelly-Torres said:

Oh, and getting elbowed in the head by Jan Molby when I was a mere whippersnapper. 

 

And hearing somebody get shot and murdered and being able to see the dead body, from the chest down, from my ma's bathroom window. He was lying in the patio doorway of the house backing onto ours, across the entry. He was working out in the local gym. Blokes ran in to get him. He managed to get out and burst into a house in the next street to ours. They chased him in there and shot him. I was dozing off when it happened and woke up to a clapping sound. Followed by another 3 or 4 similar claps. My ma asked if it was fireworks. I said that it didn't sound like and that I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't hear sirens soon as it was a really unique sound that I'd never heard before and I had a strong feeling that it was gunshots. A minute or so later, the local streets were full of police sirens. We went out for a nose, heard what had happened, so looked out the bathroom window and there he was, dead on the floor. Surreal. 

Oh boy.

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Went to Southport Pleasureland after an all nighter the night before when I was about 18, where we continued taking shit drugs in the bogs, drinking cheap lager and smoking weed on the dinky little cable cars. The ride home saw me and my best mate in the boot of a Fiat Uno, legs intertwined, faces almost within kissing range. It was a bumpy ride and I was on the verge of going white all the way home. He was telling me to hold off on puking, which I managed to do until we were crossing the Runcorn bridge, literally less than a minute away from getting out of the car. I tried to direct it away from him but in doing so basically sprayed it from left to right across his face. Then chucked up a couple more times on his t-shirt and legs for good measure. I’ve got fonder memories of it than he has. 
 

 

I think I’ve done less travelling than some of you on here. 

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A mate and I hired Minsk motorbikes in Sapa, North Vietnam and toured along the Chinese border through small towns and remote parts for a week. I can't drive a car nor a motorbike so this was a very stupid decision that I somehow got away with, especially as Minsks are prone to breakdown what with them being 50+ years old. Was absolutely stunning countryside, food and wonderful treatment from the locals who acted as our AA (not alcoholics anonymous), put us up for buttons and the children would often sprint to madly wave at us as we passed. 

 

The highlight was meeting a Chinese tribe who seemed to be in the middle of some kind of revelry and playing the lying down game with them, handing out badges which were exciting and fascinating to them, them pissing themselves at my mates dreadlocks and getting photos of his hair draped over their heads then being force fed dangerous quantities of rice wine. 

 

 

IMG_20210714_075043.jpg

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23 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

 

2. Took Mrs Kurtz to NY and arranged to travel in via the subway so her first experience of New York was emerging into Times square at about 7pm on a summer friday night. 

 

 

Some tit took the wrong suitcase (mine) at Newark airport so I wasn't in the best of moods when I stepped onto the platform at Penn Station until I stepped onto the street smack bang in the middle of NYC. Blows you away doesn't it? Love that place 

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I was on a stag in Amsterdam 4 years ago. We where in the banana club half watching some young one stick a banana in her fanny. We were at a distance behind a bunch of London lads that throwing a few quid at her. She starts shouting at us to pay up or fuck off. My mate who is absolutely loaded and bolloxed drunk walks up closer to her and stares at her snatch while throwing €50 notes at the lady beside her who is doing absolutely nothing. This is infuriated the banana women, the angrier she got the more 50s he threw at the other one. We had to jump in and pull him away when he got to about €800. I've been all over the world and your ones face is still the most memorable thing I've ever seen. The fume was off the scale.

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5 hours ago, No2 said:

I was on a stag in Amsterdam 4 years ago. We where in the banana club half watching some young one stick a banana in her fanny. We were at a distance behind a bunch of London lads that throwing a few quid at her. She starts shouting at us to pay up or fuck off. My mate who is absolutely loaded and bolloxed drunk walks up closer to her and stares at her snatch while throwing €50 notes at the lady beside her who is doing absolutely nothing. This is infuriated the banana women, the angrier she got the more 50s he threw at the other one. We had to jump in and pull him away when he got to about €800. I've been all over the world and your ones face is still the most memorable thing I've ever seen. The fume was off the scale.

Two lips from Amsterdam.

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I went to LA on the last leg of my round the world trip. For some unknown reason we stayed by the airport fucking miles away from anywhere even though when we booked it we were told it was by Venice Beach. 

 

Me and the Mrs decided on a spur of the moment that we wanted to go to Dodger stadium and we'd been on the Metro all day and it took us ages to get anywhere. We got a taxi which cost us a fucking bomb there and back. We stopped on a freeway in traffic but we got to see the LA skyline with the sun setting and the mountains in the background. Looked amazing 

 

On the way back we saw the skyline from the same position all lit up in the dark like it was in Heat or Collateral and looked amazing. You don't appreciate how massive and spread out LA is. New York is massive but all crammed into a couple of miles and looks like a massive crater of lights at night.  

 

When we got back to the hotel we had a Chinese taxi driver who said "me not have to work tomorrow night, thank you".

 

The cab ride back to the hotel was about 80 dollars. 

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Bar all the football stuff….

 

Holding my fathers hand and talking to him as he took his last breath and telling him I loved him.

 

The birth of my children.

 

Watching my kids play on the beach on the Gulf of Mexico, as the sun went down.

 

Various journeys through Scotland driving and the views, possibly the most picturesque country in the world and it’s right on our doorstep.
 


 

 

 

 

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11 hours ago, Chip Butty said:

Bar all the football stuff….

 

Holding my fathers hand and talking to him as he took his last breath and telling him I loved him.

 

The birth of my children.

 

Watching my kids play on the beach on the Gulf of Mexico, as the sun went down.

 

Various journeys through Scotland driving and the views, possibly the most picturesque country in the world and it’s right on our doorstep.
 


 

 

 

 

This is basically the same as me. I said in the cancer thread that grief can hit you unaware and reading this has hit me.

Very sad, yet very beautiful.

 

Meeting my Mrs and the birth of our kids and Grandkids, well it just doesn't get any better than that.

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My mrs has gone up Kilimanjaro, Machu Picchu, lived in Miami, Sydney and Costa Rica, been trekking in Pakistan and numerous other things but has never been to a car boot sale. 

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30 minutes ago, A Red said:

My mrs has gone up Kilimanjaro, Machu Picchu, lived in Miami, Sydney and Costa Rica, been trekking in Pakistan and numerous other things but has never been to a car boot sale. 

Poor cow. She doesn't know what she's missing.

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24 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

Poor cow. She doesn't know what she's missing.

What she hasn't had she can't miss. Bit like foreplay.

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Sea fishing.

 

Never done it, never had a desire to. Until we went on a family holiday to Saundersfoot, South Wales in 2012. Under cloudless skies, my brother in law and I fetched up on the fishing boat at 6:00 am, handed our loot to the skipper in exchange for a flimsy rod, some bait and a constant supply of the best bacon butties and strong sugary tea I've ever known. We shared that wee cabin cruiser with three ex-coppers and a hardened angler from Cornwall. On the first run to catch some sprats I landed a 3lb Black Bass.  Fuck me. What a start. As we headed to the depths, a pod of dolphins dove and bobbed aside us.

 

Sonar brought promise and the morning's catch of mackerel went well. As we headed out into Tenby Bay The Skipper hoisted some poles off the bow "just for fun" as the six of us on the boat traded tales and north/south Welsh banter. I'd secured myself a handy perch sat on the starboard side, legs on the edge on the boat and my back to the cabin. I drank the tannin tea and smoked rollies whilst chatting shite  and watching my rod bow with the next catch..It was a calm and bliss I'd never known. 

 

Then all hell broke loose. "we've got one"! shouted the skipper. One of the poles at the bow bent and swayed in anger. "Who wants it"?! Skipper shouted. I volunteered. The next half hour was a total blur as I grabbed the errant pole and wrestled with what I was told would be a bottom feeder, "maybe a 20" catfish". As the action came, this piscine cunt pulled me hither and yon until the skipper yelled "stick the pole in your bollocks and pull like fuck"! Which I did, 15 minutes later, I and my crew-mates had landed a 5-foot Huss. an uglier, meaner fish you never did imagine lurked those depths until we bought it to air. I was fucked, I'd pulled several muscles my shoulder in the process. And then, after regarding this monster's lack of aesthetic or culinary values, three of us lobbed that cunt back into the briny, for it to fuck with another unwary soul. 

 

Back on dry land, we barbecued our catch with my dearest loved ones .  Whisky eased my knackered shoulder as I and all my beloved laughed at my recounting of our travails and watched the sun set over the bay.

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