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Anubis

Things You’ve Seen & Done That Will Always Stay With You

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18 minutes ago, Dr Nowt said:

Aye, she’s next level. Predictably sniffy and unpleasant of course. Sat there getting her hair and make-up done pouting disdainfully, as she brought up various other semi-famous models and how they blow people for money. I almost didn’t spend the entire shoot leering directly at her, just to teach her a lesson.

Which ones? (Just for research purposes of course). 

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1 minute ago, Dr Nowt said:

X 2. Respect to anyone with the bollocks to do that. Confident I’d be fucking crying.

I'd be like Rocky Sullivan at the end of Angels With Dirty Faces and make a proper cunt of myself.

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Went to Iguassu Falls in Brazil for 4 days. We had our own tour guide there as I'd booked a package deal before we went. Stayed in this hotel which was an old Portuguese monastery right next to the falls. In the night you could hear the water thundering down the falls even if the window was shut.

 

The falls border Argentina and it is a short ride to Paraguay. My mate was obsessed with getting stamps on his passport and asked the tour guide if he would take us there. I said it sounded dodgy as fuck but the tour guide said he was also a police officer in the local homicide unit and did tour guides to earn more money. He got his badge and gun out to show us. I felt a bit more at ease about going.

 

We drove to the bridge between Brazil and Paraguay. On the way there were a load of massive house which had armed guards on the roof and high fences. The guide said that some big drug dealers lived in that area. 

 

Got to Ciudad del este and we were wandering round the market, we got mistaken for Americans and a local trued to sell me a desert Eagle gun for $200 with a box of ammo for $50. Told him I wasn't interested. He had a long coat on and just asked if I wanted to buy a knife, he opened his coat like the guy on Sesame Street and there was a massive knife hanging inside it. The guide said we weren't  interested as we would never get the stuff back through the airport. 

 

Had a few beers in a run down bar and something to eat, bought a load of Brazilian footy tops off a guy who thought he was ripping us off. 

 

We were allowed to walk back through border control completely unchecked but my mate insisted on getting his passport stamped so we went into the office. Some big fat fella with a muzzy smoking a cigar with what looked like a generals outfit looked at us and said "whaddda yyaa waant?". Our tour guide got him to stamp the passport and on we went.

 

The next day we were waiting for him to take us to the airport for our flight to Rio. He turned up in the police car late saying he had been investigating a triple murder after a gun battle in the local town. He put the sirens on and drove flat out to the airport and we just about made it. 

 

 

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On 11/07/2021 at 17:51, lifetime fan said:

I was with my Nan and saw Bill Clinton at the Labour Party conference in 02, it’s really difficult to describe the effect he has on a room just by walking into it before he even speaks. 

My Mrs' mum looks like Bill Clinton. That is the sum of my contribution to this thread.  

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1 minute ago, Doctor Troy said:

Went to Iguassu Falls in Brazil for 4 days. We had our own tour guide there as I'd booked a package deal before we went. Stayed in this hotel which was an old Portuguese monastery right next to the falls. In the night you could hear the water thundering down the falls even if the window was shut.

 

The falls border Argentina and it is a short ride to Paraguay. My mate was obsessed with getting stamps on his passport and asked the tour guide if he would take us there. I said it sounded dodgy as fuck but the tour guide said he was also a police officer in the local homicide unit and did tour guides to earn more money. He got his badge and gun out to show us. I felt a bit more at ease about going.

 

We drove to the bridge between Brazil and Paraguay. On the way there were a load of massive house which had armed guards on the roof and high fences. The guide said that some big drug dealers lived in that area. 

 

Got to Ciudad del este and we were wandering round the market, we got mistaken for Americans and a local trued to sell me a desert Eagle gun for $200 with a box of ammo for $50. Told him I wasn't interested. He had a long coat on and just asked if I wanted to buy a knife, he opened his coat like the guy on Sesame Street and there was a massive knife hanging inside it. The guide said we weren't  interested as we would never get the stuff back through the airport. 

 

Had a few beers in a run down bar and something to eat, bought a load of Brazilian footy tops off a guy who thought he was ripping us off. 

 

We were allowed to walk back through border control completely unchecked but my mate insisted on getting his passport stamped so we went into the office. Some big fat fella with a muzzy smoking a cigar with what looked like a generals outfit looked at us and said "whaddda yyaa waant?". Our tour guide got him to stamp the passport and on we went.

 

The next day we were waiting for him to take us to the airport for our flight to Rio. He turned up in the police car late saying he had been investigating a triple murder after a gun battle in the local town. He put the sirens on and drove flat out to the airport and we just about made it. 

 

 

Done Iguassu from the Brazilian and Argentine sides, but not gone across to Paraguay despite wanting the stamp. Jealous. Ace.

 

Was in casualty in Buenos Aires, having split my head open during cretinous high jinks, when they brought a guy into the same little room in a wheelchair with a gunshot wound to his knee, the cap of which clearly no longer existed. I’ve rarely sobered up so instantly. He was crying and sobbing like a newborn, totally broken, then in and out of consciousness. My mate had been in there taking photos of them stitching my head up and generally laughing at my predicament. He similarly just went quiet as a mouse as though he’d seen a ghost, switching to timid politeness like when Perry loses his virginity in Harry Enfield & Chums. Harrowing, that was.

 

Also at some outdoor party or other in Rio I saw two coppers loading a young scallywag into the hatch of a car the size of the one in The Inbetweeners, cuffed, at gunpoint. No idea why he was being put in one of them, presumably to teach him a lesson, as funnily enough he was in a fairly unnatural squashed position. He didn’t look too clever already, reddening face and all. Instant reminder of just where you are and how differently things can play out over there.

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1 hour ago, Doctor Troy said:

Went to Cape Town in 2004. We had pre booked the Shark dive before we went but didn't know the day we would get picked up. We checked into our hotel at 1am and the receptionist told us to be ready for 5am as we would be getting picked up to do it. 

 

Didn't sleep that night through sheer excitement as well as a bit of fear. Next morning the fella picking us up was the spit of Martin Johnson the former England Rugby captain. Drove out to False Bay and a load of other tourists joined us on this ridiculously small boat with a cage that resembled a lobster pot. 

 

The boat was really crowded and was bobbing up and down on the waves and I said to Martin Johnson "you've probably heard this before but we're going to need a bigger boat". He just looked at me and shook his head. 

 

I spent the first hour of the trip spewing up over the side of the boat as the water was choppy. On the other side was Dyer Island, a big rock with seals sunbathing. Then you look into the water and just see these shark fins circling round waiting for their dinner.

 

After spewing up for about the 6th time Martin Johnson told me to get myself in the cage as the water would cool my stomach down. There was a large piece of meat on the front of the cage and they had been throwing fish guts into the water non stop.

 

As soon as I went under the water this shark came out of nowhere and banged into the cage ripping the piece of meat off. I then saw about 4 great whites which were fucking massive swimming past the cage. Good job I'd never eaten anything in the morning because I would have shat my wetsuit. 

 

Got taken back to the bay where we saw a large whale go under the boat. Spent the rest of the day just sitting off in the hotel with with image of the shark being about 2 foot away from my face. 

This is unreal. I'd love to do this.

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My Mum’s 70th and my 40th were a few days apart. She’s developed a bit of an issue about her age and was talking about doing nothing for it as a result…didn’t even like people mentioning it was coming up. I thought about it for a while and eventually said to her that in a few years, for all of us, the age we’re looking ahead at now with a grimace will be one we’d love to be when we’re looking at it from the other direction, and by then it’ll be nice to have something memorable to look back on. Said we didn’t have to even reference the birthday if she didn’t want, but let’s go somewhere we’ve both not been.
 

Took her to Cinque Terre in Italy. Turned out to be one of my favourite places I’ve ever visited, just heaven to me. On her birthday I took her on a boat trip where you go round all the 5 lands and get to see them from that perspective, had beautiful food all day and a couple of those picture perfect moments you sometimes get. Remember standing outside a monastery with all the bells going, choral chanting audible, a murmuration-style abundance of birds swirling above us, late afternoon sun, looking out to sea, sun slowly going down over the water as we supped a beer, and clocking the look of happiness on her face as a moment I’ll always remember.
 

Was already 4 years ago and she mentions it all the time, how she’s so pleased she didn’t just let that birthday pass by without us marking it, because she loved the trip.

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27 minutes ago, Dr Nowt said:

My Mum’s 70th and my 40th were a few days apart. She’s developed a bit of an issue about her age and was talking about doing nothing for it as a result…didn’t even like people mentioning it was coming up. I thought about it for a while and eventually said to her that in a few years, for all of us, the age we’re looking ahead at now with a grimace will be one we’d love to be when we’re looking at it from the other direction, and by then it’ll be nice to have something memorable to look back on. Said we didn’t have to even reference the birthday if she didn’t want, but let’s go somewhere we’ve both not been.
 

Took her to Cinque Terre in Italy. Turned out to be one of my favourite places I’ve ever visited, just heaven to me. On her birthday I took her on a boat trip where you go round all the 5 lands and get to see them from that perspective, had beautiful food all day and a couple of those picture perfect moments you sometimes get. Remember standing outside a monastery with all the bells going, choral chanting audible, a murmuration-style abundance of birds swirling above us, late afternoon sun, looking out to sea, sun slowly going down over the water as we supped a beer, and clocking the look of happiness on her face as a moment I’ll always remember.
 

Was already 4 years ago and she mentions it all the time, how she’s so pleased she didn’t just let that birthday pass by without us marking it, because she loved the trip.

Cinqueterre is absolutely incredible. Obviously it's beautiful and quaint but there is also a certain Je ne sais quoi that makes it all the more special. I had intended to propose there but things didn't pan out too easily and still haven't taken the wife. 

 

I have a funny story from there that could probably make this thread

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Good shout this thread.  I could do with looking back at some interesting times.

 

  1. Back in 2006 myself and a mate went to New York for the weekend to fulfil a dream of seeing a World Heavyweight Title fight at Madison Square Garden.  The fight was Wladimir Klitschko v’s Calvin Brock.  The Irish boxer, Andy Lee, was also on the undercard so that was big plus for us.  What we didn’t know was that Muhammad Ali’s daughter, Laila Ali, was also fighting on the undercard.  We were sitting in the Garden and she is announced to the ring.  Then her opponent (who I can’t remember) is announced to the ring.  Then the lights go down.  A low, rumbling, soundtrack starts, and then Michael Buffer comes into the ring to give it the full “Lets get ready to rumble” announcing and bellows “And now, to the ring, the 3 time heavyweight champion of the world, the Louisville Lip, the Greatest of All Time…… Muhammad Ali”.  The place goes absolutely fucking bonkers, and out comes Ali in a golf cart been driven by Dustin Hoffman?!  The whole of Madison Square Garden chanting “Ali, Ali, Ali” as he arrived ringside will live with me forever.

 

  1. Definitely visiting Auschwitz was an eye opening moment.  I thought I was fully prepared and very aware of where I was going, but nothing (I found) can prepare you for the place.  The little old lady sitting on the ground crying, which was the only noise despite a few hundred people being there, was eerie in the extreme.

 

  1. Being in the flight deck of an ATR42 coming low over the Congo at dusk to land into Kinshasa was a very special sight.
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13 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Never been but its on my list. Went to Warsaw with work and spent most of winters day trying to find traces of the ghetto. Of course, it was demolished by the Nazis but finally found a preserved bit of exterior brick wall in the car park of a block of flats. Seeing the flickering remembrance candles in the snow in the evening gloom has stayed with me ever since

I worked a lot in Warsaw, the hotel was right next to the ghetto site on Grzybowska, with the synagogue location just across the road. I saw a couple of monuments to the Ghetto rather than 1 big one if I remember correctly. The Museum of The Uprising was also about 5 minutes walk away and well worth a visit.

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Camel trek out into the desert from Jaisalmer - the city of swastikas. Slept out there in a tiny hut under about 15 heavy blankets, so we just sky-gazed for hours before bed. The lack of light pollution was amazing, I’d never seen a shooting star before and lost count well into double figures that night. Truly stunning. My camel and I also bonded strongly and I still miss him. Whenever the female camels had a slash he stuffed his nose right into their stream and his eyes crossed while he flopped his tongue out like Roland Rat. I tip my hat to deviancy of such magnitude.

 

The Keralan backwaters were also stunning, but I can’t deny the fact my ex was hung out of the boat spewing up into them most of the way round, due to sickness from malaria tablets, was something I always remember even more. The contrast with such a beautiful, picturesque scene and her gutteral noises breaking silence save for the peaceful rippling of water was just objectively funny. Admittedly not for her, but objectively funny nevertheless.

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17 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

I spent most of my boat trip to the backwaters throwing up after buying a king prawn curry from a street market. The enormous rats in the shadows under the stalls should have been a warning. 

We stopped off at a little place called Alleppey the night before we did the backwaters, purely in transit. They had some street festival on and it was absolutely rammed. She had the bag with money, passports, etc. In the middle of the throng I heard her scream out, span round and locked eyes with a fearful-looking young bloke I knew instantly was the cause of her anguish. Caught him hold by the throat and was dangling him like a shit Darth Vader while I waited for her to calm down and tell me what happened. She then hysterically started saying don’t hurt him and chopping at my arm saying please let him go til I did, at which point he obviously scarpered. I asked her what happened and she said ‘He grabbed me between the legs!’ Before I could process what had happened I instinctively blurted out ‘Thank fuck for that, I thought he’d got the passports bag’ in my shock. Fairly chilly atmosphere in the hotel room that evening.

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4 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

I ran a business in India for about 15 years so went there a lot. We used to have a game of things you’d see at home but you’d never see in India so for example a dog on a lead, a child wearing a crash helmet or a completely empty street in daylight. Mad place but I love it. Might retire there and live up in Rishakeesh like a king. 

It’s fucking ace how mental India is, though I still never saw a man taking a goose for a walk on a lead as I did in Munich.

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Sometimes it’s just little moments, not the awesome sights.  
 

 

1. Walking down a Tokyo Road heading to the botanical gardens, a and the looks on a load of school kids (6/7 yo) amazed by 2 x 6ft 3/4” western white blokes. While their teacher tried to stop them pointing us out. Or when two young workers walked on a bar, sat down undid their tie exhaled then look across to two westerners, immediately did up the ties again. Till we nodded and show we didn’t care. 
 

Just the moments behind the curtain of a polite society. Amazing place and people. 


2. Pristina - seeing Pristina developing into a country over several visits, being reborn after the war. Just being welcomed, the hope and the humanity of the place. 

 

3. Sarajevo An amazing city of culture, geography, history and the daily between ottoman and Europe empires, the sunlight dropping over the minarets and the call to prayer echoing around with a beer. Nothing like it 
 

 

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3 hours ago, Dr Nowt said:

It’s fucking ace how mental India is, though I still never saw a man taking a goose for a walk on a lead as I did in Munich.

Quite a specialised collar I'd imagine, unless he just attached a lead to one of those plastic rings that used to be on 4/6 packs of beer.

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