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Euro 2020 Round Up (Days 11-13)


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So now we know who is through and who is going home and none of it is really too surprising although there were one or two scares along the way, not least for Germany. None of the big boys are out though and that’s because UEFA let too many teams into the tournament and then compounded that by allowing a load of third place losers go through to the knockouts. 

 

I’m not a fan of the increased number of teams but at least the whole ‘third place’ thing reduced the number of dead rubber games and as a consequence of that this final round of group fixtures was pretty entertaining on the whole. 

 

Three qualified from Group C with Ukraine just sneaking through as a third placed loser. North Macedonia finished bottom on no points but they gave a decent account of themselves and had some good moments in every game. They threw everything at Holland early on and were desperately unlucky not to go ahead. They had a goal disallowed for a marginal offside and also hit the post. Then Depay got them on the counter attack and Holland never looked back.

 

Depay then put one on a plate for Gini to make it 2-0. He also had a hand in another for the skipper when his shot was saved and the beautiful little bastard pounced on the rebound for his third goal of the tournament. Gini now has more goals for Holland than Van Basten. He’s much sexier too. Joint top scorer in the tournament (before Ronaldo gazumped him with three fucking pens) and probably the best player so far too. We fucking better have something up our sleeve to replace him or this will take a lot of getting over.

 

Austria secured second spot by beating Ukraine 1-0 thanks to a 20th minute header by Baumgartner. They were wearing an Arsenal kit for some reason. I always thought Austria had the same home kit as Germany, but maybe I imagined that.

 

*No, just googled and they did always play in white shirts and black shorts so fuck knows what’s going on here. Why would anyone want to emulate Arsenal??

 

I don't mind Ukraine but I’m glad they missed out on 2nd spot to Austria just because that little Zinchenko prick plays for them. That’s petty of me I know, but it’s who I am and I make no apologies for it. He winds me up because he’s always giving it the big un even though he’s crap and the only reason he’s had any kind of career at City is because every £50m full back they’ve bought to replace him has ended up being even more shite than him.

 

Belgium are through on maximum points even though Bobby Brown Shoes made a number of changes for their game with Finland. The Belgians have the exact same squad of players they’ve had for ten years. They wheeled out the back ups and I was expecting some promising youngsters. Instead it was Vermaelen, Witzel, Denayer, Boyata, Chadli, Batshuayi, Benteke!!!… fucking hell. Doku is the only new blood in there. Oh, and young Nigel Farage from Brighton. 

 

Finland dug in and defended doggedly but it looked like Lukaku had finally broke their resistance when he collected a slide rule pass from De Bruyne (ridiculously good that) and smashed it home. I didn’t think there was even a whiff of offside about it even after seeing the replay. Then they got the lines out and it was chalked off. Big toe was off apparently, although even after looking at the freeze-frame it looked like the defender’s arse played him on. The next freeze-frame they showed he was offside, but the ball had clearly left De Bruyne’s foot on that one. Some PL style shenanigans going on there. Was David Coote working VAR?

 

The reprieve didn’t last long as Vermaelen’s header hit the bar and rebounded in off the keeper’s hand and then Lukaku got the goal he’d been threatening all night to make the game safe. Finland are a bit shite and just qualifying was an achievement for them. Kudos for the gorgeous kit too. One of the best that one.

 

The result did Denmark a favour but the question was could they do themselves one? They led 2-0 against Russia thanks to goals by Damsgaard and Poulsen but when they conceded from a phantom pen it could have gotten nervy for them. Fucking awful decision that, and for all the praise the refs have had to this point I have to say this third round of fixtures saw some real clangers. 

 

Thankfully it didn’t hurt the Danes in the end because their home crowd was incredible and they just rode the wave of emotion to roll over the sorry Russians. Christensen lashed in a thunderbastard to make it 3-1 and their impressive left back Maele added a fourth. 

 

Credit to Denmark who were excellent. I’m taking nothing away from them but I need to talk once more about Russia and how unforgivably fucking hopeless they are. The biggest country in Europe, loads of money flying around in their domestic league and there isn’t one player in that team whose name I can even remember. Honestly, I’m trying to think now and I can’t tell you a single player in that squad. 

 

Bunch of fucking nobodies. They never have anyone playing for the top clubs either. Who was the last one? Arshavin or Smertin maybe? Or that left back who was understudy at Chelsea to Ashley Cole. Jerkoff.

 

Oh, for fucks sake, what was his name? 

 

 

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Finland are a bit shite and just qualifying was an achievement for them. Kudos for the gorgeous kit too. One of the best that one.

 

 

Am I the only one who thinks that Finland kit isn't all that? A couple of months ago when I saw what next season's Liverpool kits will look like, that site had a 'Best Kits of Euro 2020' poll, and the Finland home kit came out on top. I don't see the appeal.

 

MJ27LCzrFJRNWMnxpiTJJG-1200-80.jpg

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43 minutes ago, Trumo said:

 

Am I the only one who thinks that Finland kit isn't all that? A couple of months ago when I saw what next season's Liverpool kits will look like, that site had a 'Best Kits of Euro 2020' poll, and the Finland home kit came out on top. I don't see the appeal.

 

MJ27LCzrFJRNWMnxpiTJJG-1200-80.jpg

It's fucking great

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I was worried for a moment that there wasn't going to be a Pickford reference for Dubravka's OG hilarity, but it was welcome when came eventually, like Germany's equaliser.

 

The Finland kit is great. I would have loved to see Sami gracing that, had the timelines coincided. With such a legend wearing it, there would be no doubting as to whether anyone liked it or not. And if anybody inexplicably didn't, well, they would be entitled to their wrong opinion.

 

One can only come to the conclusion that the ref was caught in a starstruck gaze as he awarded that pen to Mbappe. There's no other explanation.

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That last line is absolute gold. It's also the kind of thing likely to go viral, with Andrew Neil sending his harpies to accuse you of personally murdering 12 million Jews. Let's be careful out there.

 

Speaking of the war, I get your rage at Russia. You compare them to China and America, but the Russians like football! You had to love how Russian teams were always technically brilliant, two-footed players throughout the team, while being brittle as fuck. Now they're just brittle as fuck. Was it worth getting rid of the gulag for this? Send your replies to Andrew Neil.

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The best thing about Covid is it has more or less removed handshakes from everyday life.

 

Totally with you on this.

When I was job hunting after redundancy my mate told me to "man up as I shake like a girl"

Gave me an inferiority complex.

Also, in Turkey it's done away with the kiss on both cheeks or a mini butt if it's a young guy.

Apart from that, what has Covid ever done for us?

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I can only recall 2 decent Russian players (Lev Yashin was before my time) and that's the great Oleg Blokhin and Igor Belanov. 

 

Arshavin can fuck off, he doesn't count, and he was shite anyway. Flukey fuck.

 

 

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On 26/06/2021 at 21:18, KMD7 said:

I can only recall 2 decent Russian players (Lev Yashin was before my time) and that's the great Oleg Blokhin and Igor Belanov. 

 

Arshavin can fuck off, he doesn't count, and he was shite anyway. Flukey fuck.

 

 

Both Blokhin and Belanov were Ukrainian. 

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