The Official "Where Do You Stand On Cucumbers?" Thread

[Tony Moanero]

Ordinary cucumbers are pretty rubbish, these, however, are fantastic.

 

[Pureblood]

Life-affirming stuff to see "Fuck Cucumbers" winning.  Really didn't expect that with all of the metrosexual gin quaffers on here.  

[Anubis]

You all shove them up your poop shoots. You know it. I know it. I’m the only person on TLW who doesn’t do it. Deviants, the lot of you…

[YorkshireRed]

I suspect there’s a link between the cucumber detractors and those who voted for the Star Wars films in the tournaments.

 

As yet, I’ve no evidence to back this up but I’ve decided it’s so and have already started nodding to myself knowingly in the mirror.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

5 hours ago, Anubis said:

You all shove them up your poop shoots. You know it. I know it. I’m the only person on TLW who doesn’t do it. Deviants, the lot of you…

Absolutely shocking and terrible post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's poop chutes.

[Harry's Lad]

54 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I suspect there’s a link between the cucumber detractors and those who voted for the Star Wars films in the tournaments.

 

As yet, I’ve no evidence to back this up but I’ve decided it’s so and have already started nodding to myself knowingly in the mirror.

You are correct. I myself voted for the Star Wars films in the tournaments and I am indeed a cucumber detractor.

 

Cucumbers come from the dark side of the Force and I will never be seduced by them.

Obi Wan has taught me well.

[A Red]

6 hours ago, Anubis said:

You all shove them up your poop shoots. You know it. I know it. I’m the only person on TLW who doesn’t do it. Deviants, the lot of you…

Mook likes this

[Davelfc]

Salmon and cucumber butties. 

[Karl_b]

Homegrown cucumbers are delicious, we grow a couple of varieties in the greenhouse, including gherkins. 

[sir roger]

is there an 'unofficial' thread on cucumbers ? as I want to look a bit edgy.

[Bjornebye]

6 hours ago, Anubis said:

You all shove them up your poop shoots. You know it. I know it. I’m the only person on TLW who doesn’t do it. Deviants, the lot of you…

Weirdo 

[Paul]

20 hours ago, Remmie said:

Go on, I'll play. What the fuck is a cheese nutty? 

It’s a cheese butty with added predictive text meddling.  

[Jairzinho]

Ardja once paid £43.99 for one at a cafe.

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Jairzinho said:

Ardja once paid £43.99 for one at a cafe.

Bet it was a farty little nobbly one and all 

[Jairzinho]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

Bet it was a farty little nobbly one and all 

[Paul]

20 hours ago, TK421 said:

The idea of adding 'cumber to expensive gin.  Complete sacrilege. 

The whole principle of a gin and tonic is that it’s a three ingredient cocktail: gin, tonic and something else. The something else depends on both the gin and the tonic you’re using. So for a basic Friday night tipple after work, I like Lidl’s Hortus gin (sensational for the price), Fevertree cucumber tonic and a chunk of cucumber. It’s amazing. 

[Paul]

Some bad cases of “primary school palate”* on here. 
 

 

*AKA Usheritis. 

[Paul]

Just remembered a boss cucumber salad I stole from somewhere last summer and did loads during lockdown one: ribbons of cucumber (use a potato peeler) dressed with soy sauce and rice wine vinegar. Sensaysh. 

[Pureblood]

6 minutes ago, Paul said:

The whole principle of a gin and tonic is that it’s a three ingredient cocktail: gin, tonic and something else. The something else depends on both the gin and the tonic you’re using. So for a basic Friday night tipple after work, I like Lidl’s Hortus gin (sensational for the price), Fevertree cucumber tonic and a chunk of cucumber. It’s amazing. 

Well what's wrong with the humble slice of lemon?

[Paul]

Just now, TK421 said:

Well what's wrong with the humble slice of lemon?

Nothing. It’s great. 

[Pureblood]

Phew. 

[Paul]

I was a rum and coke man for years but about ten years ago I started getting into G&Ts and now they’re hands down my favourite tipple above anything else. I fucking love ‘em! And cucumber tonic is some next level booze shenanigans. 

[Pureblood]

2 minutes ago, Paul said:

I was a rum and coke man for years but about ten years ago I started getting into G&Ts and now they’re hands down my favourite tipple above anything else. I fucking love ‘em! And cucumber tonic is some next level booze shenanigans. 

Sensaysh!

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Raita is boss.

[VladimirIlyich]

8 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Raita is boss.

I always preferred Mavis myself.