Premier League Round Up (May 1-3 2021)

[tlw content]

Not too many more of these to go thankfully. Don’t know how many of you are even still reading and I’m not offended if you’ve given up. I’m just limping along until this thing is over and we can try to forget it ever happened.

 

There’s so much to hate about this season even if you completely take LFC out of the equation. I’ve mentioned before about how I can’t stand seeing teams walking out into empty stadiums and that was brought home again this weekend when I saw City and Palace walking out at Selhurst. 

 

Comparing that with how it’s meant to be was just fucking grim. Usually there’d be the cheerleaders forming a guard of honour for the teams to come out, confetti flying everywhere, “Glad All over” blasting out and noise levels through the fucking roof, especially from that crew in the corner behind the goal. 

 

It may not be everyone’s cup of tea but the point is Selhurst Park is usually bouncing. And here it is now, players walking out to nothing and the camera zooming in on Ederson’s ugly fucking gob. This season in a nutshell that. 

 

Of course City won but no-one cares any more. 

 

It was mentioned on commentary that Van Aanholt is out of contract this summer. Back up for Robbo maybe? He’s got his limitations (can’t defend being the obvious one!) but given that Tsimikas must be shite because Klopp definitely doesn’t trust him, that might be a way of bringing in a few quid while getting a bit better. Just thinking aloud really, and I’m biased here because Van Aanholt has always come across as a top lad based on things I’ve seen from him in interviews and on twitter.

 

Also mentioned on commentary “Ray Lewington, never stops talking, great football man” said Jonathon Pearce. You know how you get people to think you’re a “great football man”? Wear footy boots and a pair of shorts with your initials on no matter what the weather is like. You can blag your way through anything if you do that.

 

It’s like in the NFL when someone is described as “a good football guy” it generally means he has a thick moustache, a firm handshake and he likes to give ‘the Lord’ the credit for anything that goes well.

 

 

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[sir roger]

Can't remember the last time I laughed about football , so massive credit for getting a few chuckles there , Dave.

[dockers_strike]

Wait, what!? I waited all week for this round up and there's no mention about 'that' Sunday 4:30 kick off? Even Sky had big numbers tune in to follow the shitfest.

 

Football articles being posted on the GF, the world really has gone to the dogs!

[alles ist gut]

Top, top demob-happy Tottenham analysis there, Dave.

[dave u]

14 minutes ago, dockers_strike said:

Wait, what!? I waited all week for this round up and there's no mention about 'that' Sunday 4:30 kick off? Even Sky had big numbers tune in to follow the shitfest.

 

It'll be in the diary.

[Josef Svejk]

"Sure, Tuchel looks like a paedo but..." is the perfect opening to almost any conceivable sentence. 

[ralph]

It is only your well written humour that keeps us reading Dave. Love the Tuchel comparison. 

I fear much of the same next season with VAR farcical decisions with no recompense. How can a decision be overturned that was given by VAR is beyond me and who overturns them. It would not surprise me if it was the pricks that made the decision in the first place. 

Keep writing and keep entertaining us Dave and hopefully see you in the Main Stand next season. 

[dave u]

Looking forward to seeing you too mate, it's been too long.

 

And maybe I'm kidding myself here, but surely VAR will be gone? It has absolutely no support from players or managers. We know the fans opinion doesn't count for anything, but if managers and players are universally against it then that has to count for something.

[DalyanPete]

Funny report and perfect use of the "C" word.

Cunts.

Would love you to meet the aptly described footballers just so you could, "ah, your that (insert name) cunt.

[Frank Dacey]

Excellent write-up, Dave. Made me laugh a few times, which hasn't happened much this season. At least your nightmare about Arsenal has been laid to rest. There used to be an acronym in IT; GIGO. It stood for Garbage in, Garbage out and I think about it every time I see VAR in action. One incompetent assisting another incompetent and yet people scratch their heads and wonder how they got that wrong.

[Chocoholic]

11 hours ago, DalyanPete said:

Funny report and perfect use of the "C" word.

Cunts.

Would love you to meet the aptly described footballers just so you could, "ah, your that (insert name) cunt.

"Ah, you're that loser, Perez, you giraffe necked fuck"

 

There's some untold, hidden power in calling someone a fuck, rather than a fucker. Don't ask what it is, because it's unknown, but it works.

[DalyanPete]

9 hours ago, Chocoholic said:

20 hours ago, DalyanPete said:

Funny report and perfect use of the "C" word.

Cunts.

Would love you to meet the aptly described footballers just so you could, "ah, your that (insert name) cunt.

"Ah, you're that loser, Perez, you giraffe necked fuck"

Worth the subscription money to read these gems.