Lads' holidays

[littletedwest]

Went on a stag do to krakow. Only knew the stag, started drinking at 11am finished at 4am. Got back to hotel and the lads laid some coke out. Not really a drug person but asked could I have a go. Half hour later "you've snorted it all" they had get their new polish friend to drop more off.

Felt like death the next day

[Paulie Dangerously]

Weekends in Germany. Bars that aren't technically strip bars because all girls are bollocko anyway. Currywurst and a pint for breakfast from the little booths in a main square. Miss them. 

[Section_31]

53 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

I must have been only person who couldn't drink two consecutive nights by age of 20. So that spoiled them a bit.

Went ibiza at 17, 14 nights. On the last night I drank 12 bottles of bud and still didn't feel pissed, just ill. 14 nights of boozing defo changes your tolerance. 

 

There's deffo a method to it. First thing to do on any holiday is tip the barmen well in the hotel and anywhere you feel will be your regular watering hole at the start of any given night. This only works with foreigners though as the British still don't get the whole "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" concept. 

 

We made friends with an Argentinian barman in the Canaries who couldn't speak English and literally all you had to say to him was "Boca Juniors" as he was a fan, and he'd just give you a free tequila. One time I just pointed at my mate and said "River Plate" , to which he shouted "River Plate!?!?" But then I said "only joking, Boca Juniors" and he gave us another tequila. Some tremendous conversations were had.

 

In Greece we were mates with the hotel barman and he sat us down and warned us that there were some bars that put turps in their drinks, so obviously we asked them where they were so we could go. 

 

We used to drink in a sports bar there run by a Scottish family. Went in once and the girl was crying and some copper with a handlebar moustache was stood in the back pouring drinks down the sink. We asked what was up and she said:

 

"We didn't pay the bribe so they're pouring out all our out of date drinks."

 

Oh right. We'd been paying top dollar for that shit all week.

[YorkshireRed]

I’ve learned a lot on these trips. Mainly that women are equally as scoundrel like as men once they get a bit of sun and sangria in them. 

[Bjornebye]

Just now, YorkshireRed said:

I’ve learned a lot on these trips. Mainly that women are equally as scoundrel like as men once they get a bit of sun and sangria in them. 

Yeah you can pull with two heads on holiday. 

[Rico1304]

- promising I’d have a beer the second I woke up, and the other lads making sure I did it every day

- about to shag a bird from Aylesbury and her turning her boyfriends picture to the wall 

- calling her and her mate ‘the Aylesbury fucks ’

- listening to ‘The It Girl’ by Sleeper about hundred times on my CD player

- thinking I was the dogs in a white Lacoste shirt

- going to Quaffers the day we got back because we were all tanned as no one took suntan lotion 

- being xonvinced I’d got a dose. 
- hiding in a bog from the Aylesbury fucks and her sticking her through the window to find me. 

 

[YorkshireRed]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

Yeah you can pull with two heads on holiday. 

Yes, those were the days. Some right adventures I’ve had. I can even remember some of them. 

[Dr Nowt]

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Yes, those were the days. Some right adventures I’ve had. I can even remember some of them. 

I tried to dig into my brain for some funny memories and it freaked me out so I put the snooker on. 

[YorkshireRed]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

I tried to dig into my brain for some funny memories and it freaked me out so I put the snooker on. 

I’ve a few. I wouldn’t want to be thought badly of though. I wasn’t always the ‘straight as an arrow’ guy I am today. 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’ve a few. I wouldn’t want to be thought badly of though. I wasn’t always the ‘straight as an arrow’ guy I am today. 

I've always been a cunt. 

[The Midnight Rambler]

Trying to organise a stag do in a pandemic is a right twat.

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, The Midnight Rambler said:

Trying to organise a stag do in a pandemic is a right twat.

It's bad enough normally. 

[Sugar Ape]

I still go away with my mates at least once a year and I’m 40 next month. Obviously modified our behaviour a bit and we’ll usually head to Palma Nova instead of Magaluf now, though I did roll back the years for a Magaluf stag in 2018 that almost killed me. 
 

Usually just get on the ale by the pool about 10am, an hours kip about 5pm before going for our tea then carry on the all inclusive until about midnight and then go to a few bars. 
 

Pushed the limit in 2019 though, 4 nights in Palma Nova in the summer, three nights in Amsterdam in November and we had a night in Llandudno as well. 
 

Stayed over in a hotel in town to see Gerry Cinnamon and The Coral in November 2019, went to Amsterdam in the week then stayed over in town again to see Liam Gallagher in the Echo arena the weekend after we got back. Never been so happy to crawl into my own bed when that week was finished. 

[Sugar Ape]

I’ve got hundreds of stories from my holidays, some proper traumatic. 
 

We went to Magaluf a week after Istanbul in 2005 and it was the best time to be abroad as a Scouser. Everyone loved us. 
 

I pulled this bird from Aintree in a bar and took her back to our apartment while my mates stayed out, did all kinds with her then turned the lights on and it was like a Murder scene. Blood everywhere. 
 

I asked her if she was on and she said she’d had a little operation to remove a cyst on her ovaries the week before she went away and I must have ‘unpicked the stitch’. 
 

Threw a T-shirt and a pair of shorts on and walked her to a taxi to get rid of her and my mates showed up as I was heading back, told them what happened and one of them said I needed to get a shower straight away so I’m in the shower with it on full blast on my cock and balls when my mate walked in and said he couldn’t wait and longer and started having a shit. 
 

My main memory of that night is washing my dick while he’s sitting there opposite me squeezing one out moaning about Wayne Rooney for being a traitor and leaving Everton. 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

I’ve got hundreds of stories from my holidays, some proper traumatic. 
 

We went to Magaluf a week after Istanbul in 2005 and it was the best time to be abroad as a Scouser. Everyone loved us. 
 

I pulled this bird from Aintree in a bar and took her back to our apartment while my mates stayed out, did all kinds with her then turned the lights on and it was like a Murder scene. Blood everywhere. 
 

I asked her if she was on and she said she’d had a little operation to remove a cyst on her ovaries the week before she went away and I must have ‘unpicked the stitch’. 
 

Threw a T-shirt and a pair of shorts and walked her to a taxi to get rid of her and my mates showed up as I was heading back, told them what happened and one of them said I needed to get a shower straight away so I’m in the shower with it on full blast on my cock and balls when my mate walked in and said he couldn’t wait and longer and started having a shit. 
 

My main memory of that night is washing my dick while he’s sitting there opposite me squeezing one out moaning about Wayne Rooney for being a traitor and leaving Everton. 

This is the shit they should have in the brochures for the young ones going away. The reality. 

[Paul]

Excluding stag weekends, I’ve done two: one at 17 to Salou and one at 21 to Ibiza. Both were fucking brilliant and also pretty fucking messy but in very different ways. It’s a young, single man’s sport though, in my view, and I haven’t been either of those things for a very long time. 

[John102]

I bet some of you deviants clap when the plane lands and/or sing on the back of the coach. 

 

Only really done a couple. Ibiza was great. Having a nice drink on the balcony, with the fan on, just before a night out was boss. As was doing tablets in DC10 in the middle of the day before going to Cocoon in the night. 

 

As with all things, there is a time and place for it. 

 

Dont really get the attraction of short hall weekend trips. May have been the company I keep but always just felt as if we had just gone to concert Square as at 6am and just got smashed but for 4 times the price. This was especially true of Dublin. 

[tokyojoe]

2 hours ago, MegadriveMan said:

I did a 5 year stint from 2004 to 2008. Magaluf the first year, Ibiza three years in a row and then Kos. Loved every one of them. 

 

2005 was the standout, First year in Ibiza, and was blown away by it! the bars, the clubs, the girls. Obviously on the back of a certain f******* result as well, I often think 2005 was my favourite ever year. I went to a Cream night in Amnesia and saw Tiesto play, also pulled a girl that was way out of my league from Hull. 

 

The hole holiday vibe is great. Everyone's in such a good mood and up for a laugh. Its great escapism for some people who just park their real life for a week and almost become a different person.  

 

This was the song of Magaluf 2004

 

 

This was from 2005

 

Way out of your league front Hull? K'nell.

[Bjornebye]

19 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

Way out of your league front Hull? K'nell.

Hahahaha I thought the same. 

[littletedwest]

Lad I know went magaluff. One night he took loads of pills. Woke up next day feeling awful and paranoid as fuck. Stopped in that night when his mates went out, reckoned he could see the lock turning in the door. Grabbed a knife and went into furthest bedroom from door and went sleep.

Hour later wakes up and goes to his own bed. His mate brings a bird back, pulls back his bed covers where there is now a knife in his bed. She started screaming and the lad struck out there 

[Tony Moanero]

I’ve never been on a typical lads’ holiday. Well, not to places such as Magaluf or Ibiza. I was too busy following a certain sports team, in this country and abroad. I’ve always hated nightclubs and sitting around hotel swimming pools. My best mate developed a brain tumour not long after leaving college, suffered with them for ten years and died young. I went on city breaks with other mates. Whilst they were relatively enjoyable, I much preferred going away with my wife. That way, I could properly research where to drink and eat. I could drink where I wanted and when I wanted, without the need to compromise with dick-heads, which is what most of my mates were back then. I could always rely on my wife to keep me safe when I was worse for wear, which I was most of the time. I don’t know how she put up with me.

[Stouffer]

4 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

I’ve never been on a typical lads’ holiday. Well, not to places such as Magaluf or Ibiza. I was too busy following a certain sports team, in this country and abroad. I’ve always hated nightclubs and sitting around hotel swimming pools. My best mate developed a brain tumour not long after leaving college, suffered with them for ten years and died young. I went on city breaks with other mates. Whilst they were relatively enjoyable, I much preferred going away with my wife. That way, I could properly research where to drink and eat. I could drink where I wanted and when I wanted, without the need to compromise with dick-heads, which is what most of my mates were back then. I could always rely on my wife to keep me safe when I was worse for wear, which I was most of the time. I don’t know how she put up with me.

I love you T.

[Tony Moanero]

1 hour ago, Stouffer said:

I love you T.

I love you, too, Stouffer.

[John102]

What is it people hate about nightclubs? Ive always had great times in them. As long as you go to one that suits your musical tastes obviously.