Working from home excuses

[Sugar Ape]

11 minutes ago, Vincent Vega said:

Internet problems wouldn’t work would it? Our place would just tell you to connect to your phone and use 4G.

Depends what kind of phone contract you've got. If you don't get much data they can't expect you to use it on work. I'd only use the 'no internet' excuse very sparingly anyway. If you use it too often they'll just say you can't work at home since your connection is bad and you have to work from the office.

[Bjornebye]

Italian hospital employee accused of skipping work for 15 years https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-56822571

 

 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Tell them you've ruptured your ballbag on your 39th wank of the day, and won't be able to rub one out for a couple weeks. Obviously this means you won't be able to work from home as that's 80% wanking.

[Rico1304]

How about you’ve put on so much weight that your work clothes don’t fit you anymore?  

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

17 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

How about you’ve put on so much weight that your work clothes don’t fit you anymore?  

Is that a valid excuse? Then why have I been working for this last year?

[Rico1304]

24 minutes ago, Rick Sanchez C-137 said:

Is that a valid excuse? Then why have I been working for this last year?

I had my first ‘important’ meeting today that required me to be in business clothes.  They’ve all shrunk in the wardrobe.  

[KMD7]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Italian hospital employee accused of skipping work for 15 years https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-56822571

 

 

Leg

[Total Longo]

On 16/04/2021 at 21:33, Lee909 said:

Electrical issues

Internet problems

Theres a snake in the front room and it won't leave

Electrical snake problems.

[Kevin D]

On 18/04/2021 at 14:58, Sugar Ape said:

Depends what kind of phone contract you've got. If you don't get much data they can't expect you to use it on work. I'd only use the 'no internet' excuse very sparingly anyway. If you use it too often they'll just say you can't work at home since your connection is bad and you have to work from the office.

 

That's also a concern of mine. I don't want to give excuses that have ready made solutions.

[Evelyn Tentions]

16 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Italian hospital employee accused of skipping work for 15 years https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-56822571

 

 

My hero

 

[Harry Squatter]

You've got a greenhouse and a three men ran in and bummed you. 

 

You went to a rough pub for dinner and someone made you snort a bag of coke off the bog cistern/threw a fruit machine at you/had a straightener in the car park/made a teenage mum suck you off in the bogs for a WKD Blue.

 

You've moved to Huyton and someone murdered you. 

 

You've got Virgin Media Broadband

[littletedwest]

My old assistant manager once rang in saying he'd took too many valium and was fucked. The manager kicked off but left it at that 

[Kevin D]

They’re making me go back.

[RJ Fan club]

24 minutes ago, Kevin D said:

They’re making me go back.

Bastards 

[TheHowieLama]

31 minutes ago, Kevin D said:

They’re making me go back.

insert (Just when I thought I was out) gif

[littletedwest]

37 minutes ago, Kevin D said:

They’re making me go back.

What have they said? 

Have you mentioned your anxiety? 

[RJ Fan club]

1 hour ago, Kevin D said:

They’re making me go back.

Chin up and make the most of your freedom 

 

I love Modern Toss me…

 

[littletedwest]

Can give you a couple of bullshit excuses I've had

 

I've just been diagnosed with dyslexia and can only concentrate in quiet areas ( he actually misspelt words in that message) 

I've got ibs it plays up through social anxiety and I can't use shared toilet areas

[Creator Supreme]

On 22/04/2021 at 22:15, Harry Squatter said:

You've moved to Huyton and someone murdered you.

I know it's a couple of years late, but oi you cheeky cunt!!

[Jairzinho]

3 hours ago, Kevin D said:

They’re making me go back.

 

Have you got the minerals to walk into your boss' office and offer them a straightener though? 

[Redder Lurtz]

3 hours ago, Kevin D said:

They’re making me go back.

 

Sorry for your loss. But you have 2 years of great memories to look back on. And you've probably wanked a stone off. 

[johnsusername]

On 16/04/2021 at 21:29, Kevin D said:

Been working from home, which is nice, but unfortunately it's made my traditional excuses for missing work obsolete. Typically I would rotate between having a headache(1 day), food poisoning(2-3 days) and having to return to Scotland on a personal matter(4-5 days). They've served me very well over the years, but are not good excuses when working from home.

 

I need a new repertoire and would kindly ask for some good excuses for calling in sick when working from home. Ideally, they would be reusable, prompt no follow up questions and plausible.

 

A headache??

 

[skend04]

Went for a bite to eat last night with maybe a couple of beers. Now I wake up to find my car isn't starting and I'll have to wait for the Home Start to get here before possibly towing it to the garage to get it checked out fully. 

 

 

 

That's plausible right?

[Trumo]

We have to book into the office via our online HR portal. Sometimes the portal freezes, and often it says there's no room at the inn, so don't bother coming in. Suits me just fine.

[Clem H Fandango]

tell them straight.

 

youre all cunts. office is too loud with cunts. cant concentrate because of the cunts.

 

want me to work 100% at home or 50% in the office?