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dave u

Golf thread / my new project

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I was having a great dream the other night, the usual 4 of us who play together were playing a local course just outside of Bristol.
 

The 12th is a par 3 and plays downhill all the way, about a 60/70ft drop from tee to green. 
 

I slapped a fucking horrendous tee shot, but it pitched just short of the green and rolled straight in the hole. 
 

I shouted out “get the fuck in you beauty”, my ol fella and Laurence were laughing and congratulating me but my brother was calling me a lucky cunt and was saying it didn’t count as a hole in one as it was such a shit shot. 
 

I was already thinking about posting on here that I’d got a hole in one when the missus started shaking me, saying, “it’s 4 o’clock in the morning, shut up you twat”. 


I was convinced it was real, even more so by my brothers reaction. 
 

Cunt. 

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I love that even in your dreams the realism is there and it was a scrappy, ugly looking hole in one rather than a one hop past the flag then spin back into the hole kind.

 

Did you buy those Polara balls by the way?

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1 minute ago, dave u said:

I love that even in your dreams the realism is there and it was a scrappy, ugly looking hole in one rather than a one hop past the flag then spin back into the hole kind.

 

Did you buy those Polara balls by the way?


Yeah - that’s the fucking infuriating/addictive thing about the game, you can play absolute dogshit all round but cream one shot perfectly, exactly as you want it. And then be shite again. 
 

Yeah I bought 3. Going up next Thursday to pick up my driver and play a round. 
 

We’re playing Shirehampton, its not a course I like, it’s quite boring, not very long and quite narrow so he’s expecting to win easily. 

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I hit the best 4 wood I ever hit last week on the 2nd hole in Mount Wolseley. About 40 yards in front of the green there is a small internal road with some wooden bollards on either side. Obviously I hit one of them flush and somehow managed to nestle in behind a bush about 15 degrees from the bollards, it should have have even been possible. The 2 shithouse cunts I was playing with both said it was though shit. Ended up with a 7 instead of a birdie chance and lost the plot for a good 6 holes. Just as I'd cleared the head I asked a member what the rules where there and he said tough shit too, wanted to wrap a 5 iron around his throat. That set me back another 5 or 6 holes. I'm still convinced I should have been entitled to play that again.

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2 minutes ago, Shithouse Cunts said:

Shithouse cunt.

Bit harsh on the cart. I know it's names Stewart but it will take the pressure off the back which will help in older age. Plus some people are right lazy twats. Costs quite a bit but we pay Dave to live a life of convenience. My two main concerns is it falling over on bumpy terrain if Dave shanks it and when it starts malfunctioning and following Dave into the bathroom when he goes for a for a shit telling him he's got 10 seconds to comply. 

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On 14/07/2021 at 16:52, Bjornebye said:

Bit harsh on the cart. I know it's names Stewart but it will take the pressure off the back which will help in older age. Plus some people are right lazy twats. Costs quite a bit but we pay Dave to live a life of convenience. My two main concerns is it falling over on bumpy terrain if Dave shanks it and when it starts malfunctioning and following Dave into the bathroom when he goes for a for a shit telling him he's got 10 seconds to comply. 

 

You say that like it's a bad thing. Maybe I need that, instead of wasting half my life reading twitter on the shitter.

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Ok, there's some content on the site now. I mentioned this one on the Open thread but I'll post it here again anyway for anyone who missed it. Basically it's a round up like I do on here for the f**ty only it's for golf.

 

https://bangaveragegolf.co.uk/?p=237

 

Also, going to do a kind of playing diary that will probably veer off into covering some other random stuff. First one of those is here (title needs some work!):

 

https://bangaveragegolf.co.uk/?p=246

 

Finally, I wrote this a while ago just to get something up on the blog to make sure everything was working. May as well post it in here too, as there's a couple of funny stories in there about golfers being dicks at the Birkdale Open back in the day.

 

https://bangaveragegolf.co.uk/?p=69

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5 minutes ago, dave u said:

 

You say that like it's a bad thing. Maybe I need that, instead of wasting half my life reading twitter on the shitter.

Hahaha 

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Bit random, but (I'm right handed and) most woods I hit end up slicing to the right. Irons I'm fine - straight as a die. Without getting too technical into my swing, anything basic anyone can offer in terms of advice?

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The fella I was playing with yesterday struggles with the same. I told him to make sure he got his hips through the ball when striking it. That seemed to help. A full follow through also makes sure you get your body through the ball and can help negate the push. 
 

Final one is to embrace it. If you push ever drive, then just aim further left. I couldn’t believe how far left Colin Montgomery aims to allow for his natural fade. All you want is consistency. 

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2 minutes ago, JohnnyH said:

The fella I was playing with yesterday struggles with the same. I told him to make sure he got his hips through the ball when striking it. That seemed to help. A full follow through also makes sure you get your body through the ball and can help negate the push. 
 

Final one is to embrace it. If you push ever drive, then just aim further left. I couldn’t believe how far left Colin Montgomery aims to allow for his natural fade. All you want is consistency. 

Yeah. I find when I relax a bit more, and stand more upright, it goes straighter. Trouble is, it doesn't go as far. Need more time on the range I suppose, as I don’t get out enough.

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2 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

Yeah. I find when I relax a bit more, and stand more upright, it goes straighter. Trouble is, it doesn't go as far. Need more time on the range I suppose, as I don’t get out enough.

For a club golfer all you want is to hit your drive 200 yards. Any over that is a plus. Searching for 300 yard drives will just ruin your game. It sounds like you’re a good iron player, so all you need is to get the ball on the fairway. 
 

And as a well known pro said to me once “never ever take an iron for safety.  That’s only for the pros. Statistically, club amateurs should just hit their driver every time unless it’s obviously not the club. 

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Agree with everything Johnny has said there.

 

Particularly the "never take an iron for safety". Occasionally I'll hit a hybrid off the tee but generally that's only when the risk of driver is too high or it's a short fairway that I'd run through with driver or 3 wood.

 

Any time I try and play safe I fuck it up and then I end up berating myself for being a shithouse. Not hitting driver and trying to play safe is basically throwing Lovren on for the last ten minutes and going five at the back. Asking for trouble.

 

Driver every time unless it's not an option.

 

Regarding the slice, there could be a number of things causing it. Could be your grip, could be an over the top move on the downswing or it might just be your clubface is open when you hit the ball.

 

I've been fighting that for basically 30 years and I've only sorted it in the last month or so. And it still comes back every now and then and gets me into all kinds of shit. At least I know what causes it now though.

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My bets this week by the way.

 

Wolff, Watson and Fowler all to win.

 

Watson has got off to a bad start, Wolff has only just teed off and Fowler shot -7 and leads. Got 45/1 on him so hopefully he can do the bizz.

 

I had a couple of cheeky little 1st round leader bets too which arent going to come in. Gary Woodland (-2) and JT Poston who is level after four.

 

Had 2nd and 3rd last week so I'm knocking on the door again after a barren run.

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1 hour ago, JohnnyH said:

I played Dromoland Castle in the west of Ireland yesterday. I won’t play many prettier par 3s than this one….

5BE678D4-3A8D-4129-9DF7-540B72AB694D.jpeg

 

Let me guess how it went.

 

Tee shot back right of the green. Three putts, bogey.

 

 

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1 hour ago, JohnnyH said:

I played Dromoland Castle in the west of Ireland yesterday. I won’t play many prettier par 3s than this one….

5BE678D4-3A8D-4129-9DF7-540B72AB694D.jpeg

Lovely that mate. Golf holes are basically like porn for me so keep the pictures coming.

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13 hours ago, dave u said:

 

Let me guess how it went.

 

Tee shot back right of the green. Three putts, bogey.

 

 

Oooh. So close.

 

It's a 180 yard hole.  For 180 yard shot I'd usually use a 5 iron.  As this was elevated, I used a 7 iron and landed it right on the very bottom right of the green.  Literally my right foot was on the fairway when I was putting. 

 

Other than that you were spot on.  3 putt bogey, with the 3rd putt being a very nervy 7 footer.

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