Golf thread / my new project

[Captain Turdseye]

I shot 67 at the weekend. 
 

It was only mini golf at Walton Gardens but from what you’re saying I’m probably better than you. 

[TheBitch]

On 10/07/2021 at 20:04, dave u said:

 

It was Unrighteous, responding to repeated taunting by Woo.

 

The post script to that story was I added a tag to the TLW Footy thread that night saying "Woo in last shants saloon" which might be my finest hour on this forum.

 

On 11/07/2021 at 11:44, dave u said:

 

The funniest part was they weren't even shants, they were clearly above the knee like he said, but we all said they were shants because it was clearly winding him up. And because his name was 'Lance' and that rhymed with shants, when he had the ball and someone wanted a pass they'd shout "shants". Until Woo took it too far and got threatened with a beating.

This just makes me love Woo even more. God I miss that stupid Chinese fucker. 

[Captain Turdseye]

The word “Brooksie” has been banned by the PGA Tour.

 

 

[Captain Turdseye]

I think “MASHED POTATO” is still OK though. 

[dave u]

I'm glad. In fact, rather than just ban it, I'd allow Bryson to swing his driver without punishment at anyone who says it.

[deiseach]

22 hours ago, dave u said:

On a more positive note, when I knocked in a 12 footer I did this.... 

 

 

Held the pose for a good few seconds too. Will have been quite a sight for the driver of the truck that went by.

What the truck driver saw:

 

[dave u]

This week's round up

 

https://bangaveragegolf.co.uk/2021/08/31/count-cantlay-putts-bryson-in-his-place/

[VladimirIlyich]

12 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I think “MASHED POTATO” is still OK though. 

What is that quote all about? Is it what he says when he swings for tempo?

[Captain Turdseye]

3 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

What is that quote all about? Is it what he says when he swings for tempo?

Nah, it’s just yanks being yanks 

 

https://metro.co.uk/2018/09/27/why-golf-fans-shout-mashed-potato-cheeseburger-get-in-the-hole-and-other-absolute-rubbish-7984326/

 

I’m only mentioning it because it made an appearance the other day.

[dave u]

Think I'm gonna go the Open at Hoylake in two years and yell "Chips peas and gravy" when Bryson tees off.

[Captain Turdseye]

I’m hoping to go on the Sunday myself. Gonna follow whoever is leading and shout TLW references all the way round. 
 

I went last time it was there, got pretty pissed and didn’t even shout “Get in the hole” once. Disappointing. Although when Rory and Fowler were walking up the 18th fairway, we were stood in the second row of a crowd about 10 rows deep and I was absolutely bursting for a piss. If I’d gone to the toilets I’d have missed the end, so I was telling my mates that I was maybe gonna piss in a bottle that I was holding. I think I said it a few times before the person in front of us said “Will you just hurry up and piss in the fucking bottle” so I did. 
 

Memories, eh. 

[Captain Turdseye]

11 hours ago, dave u said:

This week's round up

 

https://bangaveragegolf.co.uk/2021/08/31/count-cantlay-putts-bryson-in-his-place/

That Bryson video is 13 minutes I’ll never get back. I ought to neg. 

[dave u]

2 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

That Bryson video is 13 minutes I’ll never get back. I ought to neg. 

 

It's really something though isn't it?

[Captain Turdseye]

2 minutes ago, dave u said:

 

It's really something though isn't it?

FUCK YEAH

[dave u]

1 minute ago, Shithouse Cunts said:

Only time I've ever enjoyed a bit of golf was fighting 2 fellas at Hoylake... enjoyed that day.

 

You can't post that without elaborating on it further?

[Captain Turdseye]

12 minutes ago, dave u said:

 

You can't post that without elaborating on it further?

He’s on probation. 

[alles ist gut]

3 hours ago, dave u said:

Think I'm gonna go the Open at Hoylake in two years and yell "Chips peas and gravy" when Bryson tees off.

Not “TOAD IN THE HOLE”?

[Bjornebye]

11 minutes ago, Shithouse Cunts said:

Not related this was just fun.

 

 

[dave u]

6 minutes ago, alles ist gut said:

Not “TOAD IN THE HOLE”?

 

I'll probably mix it up throughout the week.

 

"SPAGHETTI HOOPS"

[Captain Turdseye]

I think I’m gonna watch all four days of the Tour Championship this year, and obviously the Ryder Cup too. Dave’s right in what he says, Bryson is box office.

[lifetime fan]

2 hours ago, Shithouse Cunts said:

There was 3 of them to start but 1 was a shithouse cunt.  They thought it funny to soak a girls top as she was by herself or so they thought, it was my missus (but would of done it without it being her) and I took a bit of an exception to it so decided have some fun, it was delightful and happened by the station by a bar that was an old fire station.

The biggest got hit 1st, you could tell he was a shithouse off the 1st punch and his mate even more so as he legged it but this one was a bit too pissed and hit the deck, the remaining one was a big lump of lard that just started shouting sorry sorry but he got it too, least he could take a dig though.

Never been big on golf but got to see Tiger Woods and have a workout that day, Missus didn't enjoy it as much.

Was he an army guy?
No game of pool?

You didn’t steal his bird? 

[Captain Turdseye]

3 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

He’s on probation. 

 

3 hours ago, Shithouse Cunts said:

Not related this was just fun.

Was your recent probation for the weed bust or was it something else again?

[Dr Nowt]

3 hours ago, Shithouse Cunts said:

Only time I've ever enjoyed a bit of golf was fighting 2 fellas at Hoylake... enjoyed that day.

It’s always the ones you least expect.

[VladimirIlyich]

2 hours ago, Shithouse Cunts said:

That added to it, though they wanted a 3 year custoldial sentence for that and messed up, was a nice day out at the crown though... And helped in the confirmation of autism

You hit autistic kids? You bastard.

[JohnnyH]

A good day on a good course.