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Premier League Round Up (Apr 2-5 2021)

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Only eight more weekends and then this is over. Who knows, we might yet salvage something from this complete catastrophe of a season.

 

A couple of weeks ago it had an 8th or 9th place vibe about it but as shite as we are, others are in the same boat. And that boat may as well be named the Titanic as everyone seems to be sinking fast.

 

Everyone below third is shite. I still think Chelsea are probably the least shite, but losing 5-2 at home to West Brom probably flies in the face of that. Are they as untrustworthy as us? They might be. 

 

They hadn’t conceded for 12 hours but then shipped five to one of the lowest scoring teams in the league. That result was one nobody could have seen coming. Nobody except for Sam Allardyce that is. 

 

It went exactly how he drew it up on his tactics board apparently. At least that’s what he told Talksport on Monday morning. No-one blows their own trumpet quite like Allardyce.

 

He actually said that they targeted Mendy because they’d studied him and he is prone to doing mad things. How much of a cunt do you have to be to publicly shame an opposition player like that? It’s not as if Mendy played any part in this defeat for Chelsea either. It defo wasn’t on him.

 

Chelsea actually scored first when Pulisic reacted quickest after Alonso’s free-kick came back off the post, but Thiago Silva saw red soon after.

 

Tuchel went mad at the time but honestly, how can they possibly have any complaints there? He lunged in and caught the lad after he’d got his shot away, and David Coote really had no choice but to give him a second booking.

 

Chelsea were complaining but if he hadn’t produced a second yellow for that, West Brom would have been complaining and they’d have had a much bigger grievance than Chelsea had.

 

The game then turned on its head. Partly because of the sending off, partly because of a freak injury situation. Ivanovic came on to replace an injured Baggie, and 12 minutes later he too had to go off injured. His replacement was Callum Robinson and he was the most influential player in the second half. Not really sure how a manager can say that was all part of his plan, but if anyone can, Fat Sam can.

 

Before the Callum Robinson show began though we had big drama in first half stoppage time when Pereira scored twice in a couple of minutes. First he equalised with a cool finish from a long ball over the top. Mendy had started to come but knew he wasn’t getting there, and he ended up in no man’s land. 

 

Allardyce was pretty smug about that but that goal was on the centre backs, not the keeper. Still, anything to suit the ‘tactical genius’ narrative eh?

 

Then, with Chelsea all over the place, he fired in a low shot to give West Brom a half time lead. He’s a good player that Pereira. I just don’t think he’s consistent. If he was he’d be playing for a better team than West Brom, but when he’s on he’s quality.

 

Had Chelsea still had eleven men I’d have fancied them to turn it around, but losing Thiago Silva and then two goals in such a short space of time gave them a mountain to climb. And they couldn’t climb it. 

 

In fairness West Brom were sensational at times in the second half. The goals they scored were ridiculously good for what is basically an alehouse team.

 

Robinson made it 3-1 with a gorgeous volley after a sweeping move. Most players would have lashed at it but he just guided it with his sidefoot right into the top corner. Fucking brilliant goal. 

 

All the FIFA virgins who were creaming themselves over that shitty rabona from Lamela the other week won’t have a clue how good this goal was, but it was glorious.

 

Diagne then finished off another length of the field move full of dummies and back heels, and although Chelsea pulled one back through Mount and briefly threatened a comeback, Robinson wrapped it up with another lovely finish to cap off an amazing day.

 

The funny thing is, every goal he’s ever scored in the top flight is against Chelsea. Five goals, all against Chelsea. Usually it’s us on the end of weird anomalies like that. Kevin Lisbie anyone? Dwight Gayle?

 

Lots of talk afterwards about West Brom playing like Brazil. It’s the stock comment we all make whenever a team plays exciting football but I think that’s a comparison that needs retiring now as there’s absolutely nothing magical about Brazil anymore. 

 

They used to be the benchmark for flair, skill and dazzling football, but nowadays they’re no different to anyone else. There’s fuck all magical about a team that’s picking players from Everton. 

 

 

This is just a teaser, click to view the full article

 

Please note that PL Round Ups are only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. 

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Fucking Kevin lisbie...   you've annoyed me now. Every so often that game comes into my head and I get annoyed again. I'll never get over it Similar with cup semi v villa under Brendan.

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3 hours ago, Jimmy Hills Chin said:

It’s funny that fat Sam never makes an appearance on that shite station when he’s had his pants pulled down at the weekend. Would be great to see the tactics behind those games.

 

He dismissed all those defeats as just being a result of his players not converting their chances. Obviously his plan was flawless but if players don't put the ball in the net what can he do?

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1 hour ago, dave u said:

 

He dismissed all those defeats as just being a result of his players not converting their chances. Obviously his plan was flawless but if players don't put the ball in the net what can he do?

You can't argue with his logic.

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On 08/04/2021 at 19:36, tlw content said:

That’s worth two quid a month of anyone’s money, surely?

Well, all us suckers who do pay will strongly disagree with that proposition. The tight-fisted freeloaders that don't pay should, on this particular point, be feeling quite smug. 

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On 09/04/2021 at 21:02, dave u said:

 

He dismissed all those defeats as just being a result of his players not converting their chances. Obviously his plan was flawless but if players don't put the ball in the net what can he do?

Now where have I heard that one before?  Looks in the direction of Shite Hart Lane................

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