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The weirdest place you've ended up by accident...


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I once walked into the back door of a church and only realised it was the wrong door when I saw a priest talking with his book open. Turned out he was conducting a service to a room of people I couldn't see as they were hidden by a wall. 

 

As I didn't realise I asked him if he knew where thid other place (I forget what I was looking for) and he got so angry, shouting at me that I couldn't just walk in to a service. Fair point, but quite a strange reaction for a man of the cloth. 

 

I also drove into the wrong road and it turned out to be a very small cemetery where there was currently a funeral service going on. Well, say I drove in. I asked a learner driver to take the next turn on the left which turned out to be a cemetery and everyone turned around with a slightly surprised look. 

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In the women's bog of a gay bar in Canterbury. I was new there (the bar - and the bog I suppose), so followed this big baldy lad in dungarees to the traps, as he looked like he new where he was going. He wasn't a 'he', turns out.. 

 

I wondered why those traps were like a Givenchy dressing room compared to the piss-soaked hell-hole that was most lads' traps in the '90s. The penny dropped when she turned around explained to me that she was in fact a lady. Took a while.

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10 minutes ago, cochyn said:

In the women's bog of a gay bar in Canterbury. I was new there (the bar - and the bog I suppose), so followed this big baldy lad in dungarees to the traps, as he looked like he new where he was going. He wasn't a 'he', turns out.. 

 

Those traps were like a Givenchy dressing room compared to the piss-soaked hell-hole that was most lads' traps in the '90s.

That's a great story. Repped.

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16 minutes ago, Scooby Dudek said:

Hospital.

You accidentally ended up in hospital? What were you actually looking for?

 

Or are you saying you had an accident and ended up in a hospital, which isn't really accidental. Now if you had an accident and were taken to the chippy by mistake...

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I was out after work in canary wharf, having a drink and getting up to no good. I cant remember leaving the bar, however, i ended up coming to my senses climbing over a fence into a building site. I rang my mate in Liverpool to tell him i was lost and had no clue where i was. Next thing, i looked up and noticed that i was next to Wembley stadium. No idea how i got across London and got there, but it was a good night.

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@Chrisfrom this forum highly recommended a Restaurant in Chinatown San Francisco called Sam Wo's. As soon as I got through the door it felt like I was in a horror movie. There were 3 sturdy, sweaty and surly looking chefs hacking things with massive cleavers in a ridiculously low light. For some reason I did leg it straight away and followed the stairs to the dated, squashed cheap looking seating area, ordered some awful greasy noodles, ate half and fucked off out of there. 

 

Fuckin Smithy. 

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Probably the time I accidentally (I know, I know) attended the second biggest gay carnival in the world. Can’t be arsed writing it all down again so here’s one I made earlier. 
 

On 21/02/2015 at 22:05, Sugar Ape said:

 

When I was 19 I went to Gran Canaria with 3 of my mates and within 4 hours of landing we were in a brothel. Lashed our clothes in the hotel and straight out again, we were getting two shots of Brandy free at every bar we went in and were twatted after about 5 bottles and ten shots. My mate decides he wanted to do Karaoke and asks this Spanish rep who leads us down about 8 flights of stairs and at the bottom a curtain is drawn across a doorway.

 

We go in and these birds come out and are all over us, I look at the door and this big grock is standing there with a knife tucked in his belt staring at us. One of the birds said to my mate " you want to fuck my pussy " and he said " yeah I would but I've only got 12 Euros on me " so she stormed away muttering something. I can only vaguely remember asking mine where she was from and when she said Slovakia, started asking her about Slovan Bratislava. They must have took pity on us and just told us to get out.

 

That holiday was terrible, there was only one certain week we could all get off so we were in the travel agents insisting we had to go that week and the travel agent asked if we were single, we said yeah and she laughed and said we'd love it out there.

 

Got there and the second biggest gay carnival in the world was on for the whole time we were there. I had some massive hairy fella dressed in leather trying to ' feather dust ' my head the second night we were there, then got my toe ran over by a man on a scooter dressed only in a nappy.

 

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Slightly different but Barcelona's old town is a network of straight streets similar to how cities in the US are built. A few of us were in a restaurant and the owners (who didn't speak a word of English) kept bringing out escargot (yes French, wrong language) and my stomach was turning at the prospect of eating any more than the two I had. They were nasty. 

 

So I said I don't have too much money with me for the evening so I'll go and get some money from the ATM I had seen a couple of streets away. So I memorised where I went out of the restaurant (left, end right, end left) and got the money. Looked left and right, which way? That way. So if I went left, right, left it must be right, left, right. No restaurant. 

 

So turned around, left, right, left. No ATM. Now I'm lost. I must have spent 45 minutes trying to recount where I'd gone and never found the restaurant or ATM again. Luckily the people I was with had left the restaurant as they expected me back ages ago and they'd been out looking for me for twenty minutes. 

 

Grid cities are a nightmare. 

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2 hours ago, Remmie said:

@Chrisfrom this forum highly recommended a Restaurant in Chinatown San Francisco called Sam Wo's. As soon as I got through the door it felt like I was in a horror movie. There were 3 sturdy, sweaty and surly looking chefs hacking things with massive cleavers in a ridiculously low light. For some reason I did leg it straight away and followed the stairs to the dated, squashed cheap looking seating area, ordered some awful greasy noodles, ate half and fucked off out of there. 

 

Fuckin Smithy. 

 

Haha! Sorry bro. Sam Wo rules though. Proper filth noodles and they wash the table down with green tea. That was a fantastic recommendation for authentic Chinatown cuisine. Stop Asian Hate, you snob! 

 

(Sorry bro, it was pretty rank)

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A pub that had been shut for about 10 years.  I was driving through Cambridgeshire and fancied a pint, saw a pub that looked alright.  Doors were open so went in and as I went in realised all the pumps, beer mats and pictures were retro, thought nothing of it.  Went to bar where two very confused looking people were standing and asked for a pint.  Turns out the pub had been shut for years and they were the estate agents showing a prospective buyer around the place.  

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Was in a warehouse once that was very cold and stacked with coffins. The upstairs offices all had framed pictures of crashed aircraft fuselage on the walls.

 

Not an accident as such, I was there as a contractor to do an office fit out but had no idea what the company did until I turned up.

 

Turns out they were a private company employed by the government to visit disaster sites and bring back any British persons that had died (Tsunamis, plane crashes, terrorist attacks etc)  

 

All of the response team each had a suitcase in their office packed and ready to go with Sky News on 24/7 should anything suddenly start to unfold.

 

Got chatting with a few of them, particularly about the framed pics on the wall of disaster zones which they proudly told me "was one of their jobs"  

 

Was a bit morbid but interesting at the same time whilst I sat there eating my sandwiches at lunch watching Sky News with them.     

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31 minutes ago, Dave D said:

Was in a warehouse once that was very cold and stacked with coffins. The upstairs offices all had framed pictures of crashed aircraft fuselage on the walls.

 

Not an accident as such, I was there as a contractor to do an office fit out but had no idea what the company did until I turned up.

 

Turns out they were a private company employed by the government to visit disaster sites and bring back any British persons that had died (Tsunamis, plane crashes, terrorist attacks etc)  

 

All of the response team each had a suitcase in their office packed and ready to go with Sky News on 24/7 should anything suddenly start to unfold.

 

Got chatting with a few of them, particularly about the framed pics on the wall of disaster zones which they proudly told me "was one of their jobs"  

 

Was a bit morbid but interesting at the same time whilst I sat there eating my sandwiches at lunch watching Sky News with them.     

Sounds like my ideal job!

 

 

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In a helicopter somewhere above Southern France. Came round and saw this fella looking at down at my prostrate body encased in some inflatable tomb thing. I just said "Am I going to die?" He just looked at me. I remember nothing else. Next time I came around I was in an MRI scanner in extreme pain. I remember nothing else. Next time I came around I was in a hospital bed gagging for a ciggy.

 

Ace that fukka.

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