Other people's skills you admire

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Yea footie in general. I'm fucking shite, but I enjoy it, I just rarely play. In school I was too stoned to play sports, apart from Pro Evo tournaments, which definitely count.

 

Every time I play I'm that guy in the team that can hear his team mates going "fuck sake" every time I fuck up something quite simple. The bright side is sometimes I'll bang one into the top corner or do a Bobby style flick round the corner into the path of a teammate, to audible "whooaaa"s because they're so used to my tripping over myself trying to trap the ball.

[Kevin D]

4 minutes ago, Remmie said:

I fingered a hot married Latvian woman whilst I was wearing a Gorilla suit in Blackpool, seemed cheery enough to me

 

[Jennings]

I am shit at everything except Footy, fighting, shagging, Music, art, cricket, rugby, dancing, skiing. FML

[Jennings]

It was shit the first time. FAIL.

[YorkshireRed]

The sex skills of people who find themselves in hotel rooms next to mine. 

[Harry Squatter]

Just now, Jennings said:

I am shit at everything except Footy, fighting, shagging, Music, art, cricket, rugby, dancing, skiing. FML

Definitely shit at lying

[Elite]

Just now, Jennings said:

I am shit at everything except Footy, fighting, shagging, Music, art, cricket, rugby, dancing, skiing, duplicate posting. FML

 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

2 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Ha ha. I’m the same, really shit but good at scoring jammy goals. I once got a skanky goal hanging hat trick in a sunday league game and as I wheeled away in triumph I heard their captain say “how the fuck has he scored again ? “ 

 

Hahaha

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

4 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

The sex skills of people who find themselves in hotel rooms next to mine. 

 

"They're making it through a whole song?"

[Elite]

Pickpockets. The ones that can take the watch off your arm and then stick it around your ankle in one movement, usually by distracting you with something else. Modern day wizards.

[VladimirIlyich]

8 minutes ago, Elite said:

Pickpockets. The ones that can take the watch off your arm and then stick it around your ankle in one movement, usually by distracting you with something else. Modern day wizards.

They are more commonly named Politicians.

[JohnnyH]

Ladyboys. Phenomenal commitment. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

Good storytellers in all their forms from just casual chat to movie and music makers but most of all writers of fiction to be able to create a plot, a situation, characters and dialogue. I'd love to be able to sit infront of a typewriter and create an entire world for people to escape in.

[neko]

There is nothing I'm more jealous of than people who can speak multiple languages.

 

It's humiliating - I want to learn, but I just can't seem to ever get there.

 

Really makes me feel stupid.

[sir roger]

1 hour ago, Rick Sanchez C-137 said:

Every time I play I'm that guy in the team that can hear his team mates going "fuck sake" every time I fuck up something quite simple. The bright side is sometimes I'll bang one into the top corner or do a Bobby style flick round the corner into the path of a teammate, to audible "whooaaa"s because they're so used to my tripping over myself trying to trap the ball.

We had a lad in our 5 a sides who was dead keen but absolutely shite. We got to a ' last goal the winner ' situation and he was left with an open goal and blazed over.

The lad who passed to him said  ' Admit it , you were a fucking trainspotter as a kid weren't you , you cunt ?

[AngryOfTuebrook]

3 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Anything DIY related. I’m fucking shit. The wife is the man in our house. 

I've got a mate who's really good at stuff like that.  A few years back, he needed some plastering doing so he got a few quotes, decided they were too much, then enrolled himself on a short course and did the job himself.  I would never dream of doing anything like that.  I think I deserve a medal if I so much as put a shelf up.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

2 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

 I once got a skanky goal hanging hat trick in a sunday league game 

Are you Dirk Kuyt?

[Pidge]

For someone who really enjoys playing sport of pretty much all kinds, I am terrible. So it's a shame to see a great pass away.

 

RIP Elgin Baylor

 

 

[Juniper]

6 hours ago, Preston Red said:

Guitar players are phenomenal to me. Being able to move your hands that quickly to make music is superb.

 

Dont inflate their egos any further please.

 

Guitarists are Iike the Candyman. Say "Hendrix" in front of a mirror three times and one will pop out of nowhere to bore you with a shite guitar solo with too many notes, whilst talking about their 'tone' and pedal selection - as if anyone else other than them gives a fuck.

 

.......before counting into a song in the wrong tempo.

 

 

[rb14]

Magicians. I remember the first time someone did a card trick on me and I properly went cold. It was like "how the fuck did you do that?" I watched him rip my card up, saw everything he did, every fucking shuffle, and out of nowhere picked out my card from a deck, completely intact. I ran away. It was like "what just happened?" 

[sh#t waffle]

I can't do accents, and it really annoys me. That and people with an innate work ethic, the twats.

[Atticus Finch]

People who play the harmonica really well. I’ve tried and tried but I’m still shit. 
I feel a blues song coming on...

[Lario]

Edd China or that Ant fella on Wheeler Dealers. Would love to be able to fuck around with cars like that.

 

There's a kid in my young fella's class. 9 years old. Absolute genius artist and has been all his life. With the lockdown, they were doing all their homework through Seesaw. Every few days he'd throw up a picture that he'd drawn (he has one of those fancy artist tablet things for digital art). I swear they wouldn't look out of place in DreamWorks.

Little bollox.

 

Buddy of mine is a proper handyman. Keep his tea topped up, and he can turn his hand to anything. Cunt.

 

I'm just kinda vanilla at everything.

[M_B]

Acting. Would love to be able to do it, but in front of an audience I'd be a piece of wood. Which granted, hasn't stopped quite a few in the profession, but I'd love to be a good one.

[Rico1304]

1 hour ago, rb14 said:

Magicians. I remember the first time someone did a card trick on me and I properly went cold. It was like "how the fuck did you do that?" I watched him rip my card up, saw everything he did, every fucking shuffle, and out of nowhere picked out my card from a deck, completely intact. I ran away. It was like "what just happened?" 

We had one on a work zoom thing the other day. He asked a woman at work to pick   2 numbers from a list of presents on his phone.  She picked and it was a my little pony and a swimsuit. We saw it all happening.  He stood up, took off his clothes and was wearing a my little pony swimsuit.  Sexy and magic.