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Toilets


rb14
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Before you all start, fuck off with your silly double entendres and big homo references. That's got THAT out of the way.

 

Now. Bogs. I had a mate call me yesterday for my expert opinion on all things thronal. His point was something along the lines of this. "How come whenever I go to lovely hotels in the Far East, I look at their toilets and wonder why I haven't got one." He's talking, of course about the wonderful world of Hoop Hygiene. Full disclosure here, you can eat your dinner off my ringpiece (indeed, many have) it's so prisitine. And it's like that because Mr rb14 and I have botty washers. In London, they're the dog's nuts, full on superdooper Toto units from top to, erm, bottom. In our South coast place, Mr rb14 has only a standard crapper, whereas I bought a cheapo (!) Amazon offering branded "Flory". 

 

I'm an absolute convert. There's nothing nicer than my fresh, sparkling poopchute as some on here have witnessed first-hand.

 

So the question is, does having a nice bright shiny sheriff's badge matter to anyone else, or am I a bit weird?

 

 

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Diet helps. Plenty of water and fibre you'll have a super clean ring piece no matter how many shits you have.

 

Live on takeaways and alcohol however and you'll have a swamp of shit down there that you couldn't clear with a infinite amount of toilet roll.

 

Having a shower every day obviously helps as well.

 

I was once in the bathroom of an arcade at Blackpool pleasure beach (Having a piss, I wouldn't have a shit in a public bathroom unless absolutely necessary) and a drug addict walked in said "There's nothing worse than a sweaty arse is there mate?" And I thought, he's spot on.

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28 minutes ago, Elite said:

Diet helps. Plenty of water and fibre you'll have a super clean ring piece no matter how many shits you have.

 

Live on takeaways and alcohol however and you'll have a swamp of shit down there that you couldn't clear with a infinite amount of toilet roll.

 

Having a shower every day obviously helps as well.

 

I was once in the bathroom of an arcade at Blackpool pleasure beach (Having a piss, I wouldn't have a shit in a public bathroom unless absolutely necessary) and a drug addict walked in said "There's nothing worse than a sweaty arse is there mate?" And I thought, he's spot on.

So you've not got one then? 

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43 minutes ago, rb14 said:

Before you all start, fuck off with your silly double entendres and big homo references. That's got THAT out of the way.

 

Now. Bogs. I had a mate call me yesterday for my expert opinion on all things thronal. His point was something along the lines of this. "How come whenever I go to lovely hotels in the Far East, I look at their toilets and wonder why I haven't got one." He's talking, of course about the wonderful world of Hoop Hygiene. Full disclosure here, you can eat your dinner off my ringpiece (indeed, many have) it's so prisitine. And it's like that because Mr rb14 and I have botty washers. In London, they're the dog's nuts, full on superdooper Toto units from top to, erm, bottom. In our South coast place, Mr rb14 has only a standard crapper, whereas I bought a cheapo (!) Amazon offering branded "Flory". 

 

I'm an absolute convert. There's nothing nicer than my fresh, sparkling poopchute as some on here have witnessed first-hand.

 

So the question is, does having a nice bright shiny sheriff's badge matter to anyone else, or am I a bit weird?

 

 

It beats having an arse like the top of an arl sauce bottle.

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Best shitter I ever used was basically  a hole in the floor in an Istanbul bar. It was a toilet, but one of those ones built into the floor with a pair of foot rests and nought but a jug of water and a towel to finish off. I’ll tell you now, I felt truly purged, cleansed and reinvigorated after it.

 

 It’s all about posture when you poo: get your arse as close to the ground as possible and you’ll have no earthly need for fancy whiz bangs that mechanically douche and dry your rusty bullet-hole.
 

You’ll even start to wonder why anyone bothers with Thomas crappers flawed invention at all.

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1 minute ago, Mook said:

Quick blast from the power shower does the trick for me.

 

Another bonus of working from home is you can quickly jump in the shower after a messy shite instead of using a full bog roll on the fucking thing.

Or just wipe it properly you filthy fucker 

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1 hour ago, rb14 said:

Before you all start, fuck off with your silly double entendres and big homo references. That's got THAT out of the way.

 

Now. Bogs. I had a mate call me yesterday for my expert opinion on all things thronal. His point was something along the lines of this. "How come whenever I go to lovely hotels in the Far East, I look at their toilets and wonder why I haven't got one." He's talking, of course about the wonderful world of Hoop Hygiene. Full disclosure here, you can eat your dinner off my ringpiece (indeed, many have) it's so prisitine. And it's like that because Mr rb14 and I have botty washers. In London, they're the dog's nuts, full on superdooper Toto units from top to, erm, bottom. In our South coast place, Mr rb14 has only a standard crapper, whereas I bought a cheapo (!) Amazon offering branded "Flory". 

 

I'm an absolute convert. There's nothing nicer than my fresh, sparkling poopchute as some on here have witnessed first-hand.

 

So the question is, does having a nice bright shiny sheriff's badge matter to anyone else, or am I a bit weird?

 

 

I thought the question was about clean toilets. But it's about clean arseholes.

 

I'll post about my findings later.

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2 minutes ago, Dr Nowt said:

Followed the Toto link and immediately saw 'Rimless toilets'.

 

Surely having a clean arse would only increase the chances of getting rimmed?

 

What levels of perverted practice am I not aware of here?

Hurry boy, shits waiting there for you 

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