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Colonel Kurtz

Things I can't do that seemingly everyone else can

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On 17/01/2021 at 11:26, Chairman Meow said:

If you like tool reviews you should like this. A Canadian who dismantles tools, looks at the good and bad aspects of the designs and also tells dubious jokes as well.

 

 

 

 

In my head, Canada basically consists of him, Alan Sex, Paul and Patrick all living on one street and wondering what it's all aboot. 

Love this guy! I've even started using some of his phrases like, if something is built badly it's pure Chinesium. I've got an elec-chicken coming over today to look at a light fitting, while I'm sat here working at my confuser.

 

Haven't managed to get "keep your dick in a vice" into day-to-day conversation yet though.

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23 minutes ago, magicrat said:

I can't drink 8 pints any longer. Given up trying.

Just take it slowly. Reduce by one pint per session until you get down to eight.

 

You’ll get there. Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day. 

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On 19/01/2021 at 18:04, Remmie said:

Banana flavoured things are beyond vile

Banana milkshakes are the best milkshakes. Those banana foam sweets are way better than the shrimp ones you get in the same packet. Banana split toffees are ace. Banana weetabix is lovely.   I could go on (but i cant think of anything else) 

 

Shaking Fist GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

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10 hours ago, Total Longo said:

Banana milkshakes are the best milkshakes. Those banana foam sweets are way better than the shrimp ones you get in the same packet. Banana split toffees are ace. Banana weetabix is lovely.   I could go on (but i cant think of anything else) 

 

Shaking Fist GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

Milkshakes? Yuck, they are the worst. 

 

Using actual bananas is fine but the flavoured stuff is gross. You and Tony have disabled taste buds

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23 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Milkshakes? Yuck, they are the worst. 

 

Using actual bananas is fine but the flavoured stuff is gross. You and Tony have disabled taste buds

Ha ha. Foam bananas are boss.

 

1EC1D972-E304-49C1-9C84-C6698BC653D6.jpeg

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8 hours ago, Remmie said:

Milkshakes? Yuck, they are the worst. 

 

Using actual bananas is fine but the flavoured stuff is gross. You and Tony have disabled taste buds

I bought some banana toffee on the back of this yesterday. Four for a £1 in home bargains. It is, as expected, incredible. 

 

Walkers Nonsuch Yummy Banana Toffee Bars 50g (Pack of 24)

 

 

   

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17 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

I bought some banana toffee on the back of this yesterday. Four for a £1 in home bargains. It is, as expected, incredible. 

 

Walkers Nonsuch Yummy Banana Toffee Bars 50g (Pack of 24)

 

 

   

It even has the word yummy ont he front, if that's not a dead giveaway the banana bit should be

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25 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

I bought some banana toffee on the back of this yesterday. Four for a £1 in home bargains. It is, as expected, incredible. 

 

Walkers Nonsuch Yummy Banana Toffee Bars 50g (Pack of 24)

 

 

   

Green spewing emoji

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8 minutes ago, Remmie said:

It even has the word yummy ont he front, if that's not a dead giveaway the banana bit should be

It is yummy, though. Gloriously yummy. I may have one now in fact. Yummy in my tummy.

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20 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

It is yummy, though. Gloriously yummy. I may have one now in fact. Yummy in my tummy.

As long as you like it mate, I'd sooner lick <insert something unpleasant>

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9 hours ago, Remmie said:

Milkshakes? Yuck, they are the worst. 

 

Using actual bananas is fine but the flavoured stuff is gross.

 

Agreed. I remember how revolting Crusha banana milkshakes were. Even dried banana chips don't taste very nice.

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I have NEVER liked milk, my mum had to write a note to school every year to excuse me from the school milk (yes I’m that old!) Just the thought makes me boak. I do not like custard, milk shakes or rice pudding because of it.

However I do like those banana sweets!

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2 hours ago, suzy said:

I have NEVER liked milk, my mum had to write a note to school every year to excuse me from the school milk (yes I’m that old!) Just the thought makes me boak. I do not like custard, milk shakes or rice pudding because of it.

However I do like those banana sweets!

Haha, me too! I can remember starting in the infants and they brought this crate of mini milk bottles in, plonked a bottle in front of me, pricked the foil top with a knitting needle, gave me a straw and said drink that!

 

I wasnt thirsty but gave it a go. Before Id drunk half the mini bottle Id had enough! Next thing I know, the teacher is rattling the back of me knuckles with a ruler saying what a naughty boy I was for not drinking all my milk.

 

When ma came to collect me at lunchtime, I said I didnt want to go back again and told her about the milk. She frog marched me back into school to have it out with the headmaster, told him as a baby Id chuck my milk bottle out the pram and wouldnt drink the stuff unless it was in a pudding or 'baby tea'!

 

Headmaster said write a letter and we'll excuse him the milk. To this day, I cant drink plain milk and still prefer my 'baby tea'!

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15 minutes ago, dockers_strike said:

Haha, me too! I can remember starting in the infants and they brought this crate of mini milk bottles in, plonked a bottle in front of me, pricked the foil top with a knitting needle, gave me a straw and said drink that!

 

I wasnt thirsty but gave it a go. Before Id drunk half the mini bottle Id had enough! Next thing I know, the teacher is rattling the back of me knuckles with a ruler saying what a naughty boy I was for not drinking all my milk.

 

When ma came to collect me at lunchtime, I said I didnt want to go back again and told her about the milk. She frog marched me back into school to have it out with the headmaster, told him as a baby Id chuck my milk bottle out the pram and wouldnt drink the stuff unless it was in a pudding or 'baby tea'!

 

Headmaster said write a letter and we'll excuse him the milk. To this day, I cant drink plain milk and still prefer my 'baby tea'!

You have good taste! 
My sister liked milk but school milk put her off as they put it above the radiator and it was half warm!

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21 minutes ago, suzy said:

You have good taste! 
My sister liked milk but school milk put her off as they put it above the radiator and it was half warm!

I couldn’t drink plain milk for years and have rarely drunk it since.

 

@Trumo , Crusha banana milkshake didnt taste anything like real bananas, it was full of sugar and E numbers but was fantastic. Pineapple was even better.

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53 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Crusha banana milkshake didnt taste anything like real bananas, it was full of sugar and E numbers but was fantastic.

This appears to be the point every banana flavour hater is missing. Beautiful sugar and E numbers.

For breakfast when i was teenager i bypassed the "spoonful of sugar on top of your weetabix" option that most seemed to go for, i went for "the two teaspoons of banana nesquik mixed into the milk and thrown on the weetabix" option. Absolutely ace, and in fact if they still make Nesquik i'm going to buy some later, put a few tablespoons of it in a jiffy bag and post it to @Remmie 

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6 hours ago, Total Longo said:

This appears to be the point every banana flavour hater is missing. Beautiful sugar and E numbers.

For breakfast when i was teenager i bypassed the "spoonful of sugar on top of your weetabix" option that most seemed to go for, i went for "the two teaspoons of banana nesquik mixed into the milk and thrown on the weetabix" option. Absolutely ace, and in fact if they still make Nesquik i'm going to buy some later, put a few tablespoons of it in a jiffy bag and post it to @Remmie 

They do.

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The fake banana taste with E numbers and sugar is not a point I'm missing but the exact reason why it's vile. Its sickly, weird and has a vague snot like quality.

 

Put all the sugar and e numbers in a chocolate or Vanilla milkshake and now we're talking. But no strawberry flavoured shite either thanks. 

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10 hours ago, Remmie said:

The fake banana taste with E numbers and sugar is not a point I'm missing but the exact reason why it's vile. Its sickly, weird and has a vague snot like quality.

 

Put all the sugar and e numbers in a chocolate or Vanilla milkshake and now we're talking. But no strawberry flavoured shite either thanks. 

I bet you asked for a cup of bovril off the icey man when you were a kid 

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18 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

I bet you asked for a cup of bovril off the icey man when you were a kid 

I bet you shat in a shoe box and posted it to yourself. 

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I’m allergic to bananas, and they fucking stink!

 

Milk is just disgusting.  That stinks too.  I read once that the amount of milk in our diets is massive compared to countries like China, so much so that they think we smell of milk. Well I fucking don’t because I’ve not drunk it for about 42 years as it comes out of a cows tit. You disgusting milk niffing twats. 

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