Premier League Round Up (Dec 26-30 2020)

[tlw content]

A lot to get through but not as much as there was meant to be as Covid intervened on some of the midweek fixtures. Not much fun this week really. Hate watching other teams win when we haven’t, and it’s even worse when it’s a double header and we’ve filed to win twice. 

 

Not really how I’d want to be spending New Year’s Eve but it’s not like there’s anything else to do is there? If 2020 were a footballer it would be Richarlison. The absolute fucking pits. Ok, let’s get started then.

 

Things are finally looking up a bit for Arsenal. Two wins in the space of a few days has taken some of the heat off Arteta. The win over Chelsea was somewhat unexpected, especially considering the youth of the Arsenal forward line. Saka, Martinelli and Smith Rowe (no hyphen, for some reason) all started behind Lacazette.

 

Mount hit the post with an early free-kick but the Gunners went ahead from the spot. Lacazette converted after Tierney had been felled by James. I’ve watched this about half a dozen times and I just don’t think it’s a pen. What contact there is was actually initiated by Tierney leaving his leg there waiting for James to run into him. James can’t actually do anything about that. His mistake was getting beaten in the first place.

 

Mad how all the pundits I’ve seen discussing it all said it was 100% a penalty. Would they be saying that if it was a foreign forward ‘winning’ a pen like that rather than a good old fashioned honest Scottish full back?

 

Timo Walcott had a chance to equalise but scuffed his shot well wide. Then Xhaka lashed in a free-kick from 30 yards to make it 2-0. There hadn’t been much in the game but Arsenal had shaded it. The scoreline flattered them though. 

 

And then early in the second half it was 3-0. Again, out of absolutely nothing. Saka was 100% trying to cross that ball. I don’t care what he says to the contrary, that was a cross gone wrong with his weak foot. He tried to claim afterwards he meant it but he’s a fucking liar. It genuinely annoyed me.

 

He didn’t even do that thing where you say you meant it but you have a little twinkle in your eye that shows you’re taking the piss. This fucker was deadly serious, trying to say he saw the keeper off his line and lobbed him with his right foot. Get. The. Fuck. Outta. Here.

 

A dodgy pen, a worldy free-kick and a complete fluke, and just like that it’s 3-0 Arsenal and it looks like they’re back in business. Nah, they were just lucky and on another day they’d have lost this game, even though Chelsea were shite.

 

With a three goal lead though Arsenal’s confidence seemed to grow and they should have had a couple more. Mendy recovered from his own howler to foil Lacazette and Elneny hit the bar.

 

Then Abraham pulled one back with a cool chested finish. Initially it was given offside but VAR said it was a goal. It was one of those that they could have given whichever way they felt like. We would never have been given a goal in that situation, I know that much.

 

Chelsea then got a pen in the last minute but Jorginho was thwarted by Leno. I proper jinxed Jorginho didn’t I? He’s never been the same since I said he was automatic from the spot.

 

So a huge win for Arsenal and a third defeat on the spin for Chelsea. Fucking hell, what a fraud Lampard is though. Completely entitled cunt. He threw his team under the bus by saying they didn’t work hard enough or want it enough in the first half. 

 

This is what he said: “Any game in the Premier League you can’t be below par, you can’t lack energy, you can’t lack desire to win balls, second balls, fight for everything. We lacked it and we were 2-0 down at half time”.

 

The interviewer said “presumably you put that right on the training pitch?”. Nope, that would imply that this is something that Fat Frank could be somehow responsible for. He’s not having that. No siree. “And in the mind. You can prepare as well as you want but if you turn up like that then that’s another thing”.

 

That was to the BBC. To Sky he was even worse. “Not good enough. First half not good enough. Second half, yeah good enough but we had a mountain to climb. We fought second half, the people that came on added speed and energy, intensity.. but that should be a given from the start”

 

When asked why that was, he said “Dunno. That’s one for the players. I’ll take responsibility on the outside but the players have to take responsibility because the message was clear. This was a dangerous game for us. We were lazy to give away a penalty. Lazy to give away the free-kick that he puts in from 30 yards. It’s not about tactics and systems or whatever. It’s about do you you want to run. Do you want to back your team-mate up. Do you want to sprint. Or do you want to jog and say maybe I don’t have to run, and we took that decision rather than the right one”.

 

What a fucking bellend. Defo a tory him. “Not my fault, guv”. What he’s said there is basically “I told them not to be shit but they were shit so it’s on them, not me. Because I told them, don’t be shit. It did get better when I made changes though. I made it better. With my changes.”

 

Arsenal have had some shit results and performances recently but all I’ve heard from Arteta is how his players worked hard and they’re fighting and just need some luck. He could easily have done what Lampard did, but he didn’t because most managers don’t do that. 

 

Most take responsibility in front of the cameras, even if they absolutely fucking lay into the players privately. Not Lampard though. He’s the type of cunt who probably brings in his medal collection to show his players why he’s better than them.

 

 

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[KMD7]

Happy New Year Dave.  Thanks for all the great write ups 

[tokyojoe]

Excellent Sir Harold of Hotspur summing up there Dave.

[alles ist gut]

Top, top ‘taking responsibility by not taking responsibility’ analysis there, Dave.

[ralph]

Excellent round up Dave, if you're "officially concerned " about the spawn Mancs, then now I'm worried. 

[cwoods]

Anthony Taylor did produce the second yellow when sending off Mings on Boxing Day. The live match coverage showed it on a replay, as when it was live they cut to the shot a bit late and he'd then pulled the red out.

 

[Redlewie]

Happy New Year to you too Dave. Thanks for all the round ups, rmatch reports & weeks that was through what was a hell of a year! They are always something to look forward to, rain or shine. Let's hope '21 brings a bit more shine!

[Gav]

Bamfords been quite decent this season ,seems to be determined to have a Blaze of Glory this season ...just like that Ayoze Jovi loser he seems to have a Fairytale in New York game every 2 or 3 though

[Through Ball]

Did I miss your change of heart on Bamford, Dave?

I could have sworn you had a beef with him when he played for Middlesbrough

[halewood pete]

Another enjoyable read Dave.Spot on calling out that gobshite Lampard,and 'sir harold of hotspur'.outstanding.

[dave u]

12 hours ago, Through Ball said:

Did I miss your change of heart on Bamford, Dave?

I could have sworn you had a beef with him when he played for Middlesbrough

 

I had beef with him for years because he kept rejecting a loan move on footy manager when I was trying to sign him for Portsmouth. I took that FM beef into real life.

 

The change of heart came when I discovered he was a fellow Bon Jovi enthusiast.

 

6 hours ago, halewood pete said:

Another enjoyable read Dave.Spot on calling out that gobshite Lampard,and 'sir harold of hotspur'.outstanding.

 

Can't take credit for that one, it was Steve Kelly who coined that nickname.

[Chocoholic]

How the mighty have fallen! From 'My boy, Traore' to 'that Adama tit'

 

Still, it's only what everyone else has been saying all the time you had your Traore rose coloured glasses on. What's taken you this long? 

 

How can you think of Allardyce and not instinctively think of gravy, that one key ingredient that defines him? That sentence should read “hahahaha fuck off Allardyce you mashed potato and gravy faced cunt”.

 

Continuing on a theme of names, I'm loving Timo Walcott, which gave me a proper laugh. 

 

Thanks for another year of great write-ups, but it has to be said, ther'es been a shocking lack of your Mum's insight lately. Sort it out.

 

Happy New Year.

[dave u]

Adama could be my boy again next week. Never under-estimate my fickleness.

 

I am angry at how bad he's making me look with his half arsed-ness this season though. He's letting me down and making my judgement look bad. 

 

Fortunately I've still got plenty of credit in the bank that's to Timo Walcott.