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Jobs you'd have loved if you were smart enough

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Would have loved to get into astrophysics but I'm shit at maths. It'd be amazing though, just another plane of consciousness when you see the shit those types talk about.

 

Working at Nasa or something would have been amazing, those fellas who sit at the mission control panels and when the mission goes wrong they have to figure shit out.

 

"Ted went for a shit and the methane has breached the heisenberg compensator, how we gonna bring them home?"

 

And you fuck around with a protractor, do some sums on the back of a Hersheys bar and figure out how they can slingshot around the sun and be home in time for Monday night football.

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Marine Biologist. One of them bastards who flies round the world studying tropical sea-life. You see them smug as fuck on nature programmes. Always with a nice tan. I love the sea, if only I'd applied myself more. 

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1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Marine Biologist. One of them bastards who flies round the world studying tropical sea-life. You see them smug as fuck on nature programmes. Always with a nice tan. I love the sea, if only I'd applied myself more. 

Mate of mine does that.  He used to go to all these exotic places but now just island hops around the Hebrides drinking single malt whiskey and nailing attractive farmer daughters.  Jammy bastard. 

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6 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Marine Biologist. One of them bastards who flies round the world studying tropical sea-life. You see them smug as fuck on nature programmes. Always with a nice tan. I love the sea, if only I'd applied myself more. 

Great shout. One of these ice cutter boats looking for Orcas or something, boss.

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12 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Marine Biologist. One of them bastards who flies round the world studying tropical sea-life. You see them smug as fuck on nature programmes. Always with a nice tan. I love the sea, if only I'd applied myself more. 

Read 'Last Man Off' it's not as glamorous as it sounds.

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6 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Great shout. One of these ice cutter boats looking for Orcas or something, boss.

Yeah although I'd kick the fuck out of any Orcas I met. I can't stand the bastards. Genuinely fucking hate them almost as much as I hate that fucking Kirsty Allsopp. Bitch 

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5 minutes ago, Elite said:

Read 'Last Man Off' it's not as glamorous as it sounds.

I'm a man who used to live and work on a ship mate, Whose arm hath bound the restless wave, Who bidd'st the mighty ocean deep Its own appointed limits keep, I know what perils lie out on the ocean. 

 

Stig > Flint 

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Good for any marine biologists out there working at the exotic end of it, but my impression from brief experience was that it involved an inordinate amount of digging worms out of intertidal mud.

 

Come to think of it, my dissertation was on earthworms. Spotting a pattern here.

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Just now, Strontium Dog™ said:

Good for any marine biologists out there working at the exotic end of it, but my impression was that it involved an inordinate amount of digging worms out of intertidal mud.

 

Come to think of it, my dissertation was on earthworms. Spotting a pattern here.

Soz Jim 

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31 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Mate of mine does that.  He used to go to all these exotic places but now just island hops around the Hebrides drinking single malt whiskey and nailing attractive farmer daughters.  Jammy bastard. 

First part was the apprenticeship. He is now doing my dream job although restricting it to farmers daughters seems to lack ambition.

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19 minutes ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

Good for any marine biologists out there working at the exotic end of it, but my impression from brief experience was that it involved an inordinate amount of digging worms out of intertidal mud.

 

Come to think of it, my dissertation was on earthworms. Spotting a pattern here.

Yeah archaeology is the same, I quite a degree in it after three months after the bloke said it was "nothing like indiama Jones", basically months on end sat in a wet ditch in Wessex.

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Wanted to be a diplomat, took some bad, and incorrect, advice from one of my lecturers and fucked it up.

 

I could have been part the consulate to Azerbaijan by now if I hadn’t of listened to that Greek dickhead! 

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My Dad was a Doctor. Never wanted to follow in his footsteps until it was too late. Not sure I ever had what it takes, brains or otherwise, but I think now I’d like to have tried. 

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2 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Wanted to be a diplomat, took some bad, and incorrect, advice from one of my lecturers and fucked it up.

 

I could have been part the consulate to Azerbaijan by now if I hadn’t of listened to that Greek dickhead! 

Lad I worked with was on the training program, they found out he was gay and booted him off. Was in the early 90’s like, but he’d have been brilliant. Really smart guy.   It is amazing they took so long to realise though as he makes Kenneth Williams look butch. 

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7 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

My Dad was a Doctor. Never wanted to follow in his footsteps until it was too late. Not sure I ever had what it takes, brains or otherwise, but I think now I’d like to have tried. 

 

Definitely too much like hard work. My granddad was a doctor and my dad is a pharmacist. My dad is 70 next month and he still has to take exams, continuous personal development or some bollocks like that. My idea of hell. I haven't sat an exam since I was 20.

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11 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

My Dad was a Doctor. Never wanted to follow in his footsteps until it was too late. Not sure I ever had what it takes, brains or otherwise, but I think now I’d like to have tried. 

Nature v Nurture right there

 

 

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Always fancied being a barrister ever since watching Crown Court as a kid. However it’s not brilliantly paid and you have to fund yourself through training so it was never an option for me. 

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