Jobs you'd have loved if you were smart enough

[Guest]

17 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

My Dad was a Doctor. Never wanted to follow in his footsteps until it was too late. Not sure I ever had what it takes, brains or otherwise, but I think now I’d like to have tried. 

 

1 hour ago, Kevin D said:

As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a gangster.

Dr Dre killed two birds with one stone.

[Numero Veinticinco]

.

[A Red]

25 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Architect or Samaritan 

Your first role play would probably have confirmed your suitability

 

"Hello, Samaritans. Before we start I feel it important to point out, whether you live or die is irrelevant to me"

[Numero Veinticinco]

2 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Always fancied being a barrister ever since watching Crown Court as a kid. However it’s not brilliantly paid and you have to fund yourself through training so it was never an option for me. 

A friend of mine is a barrister and gets around 180k. Sure you’re not getting mixed up with the pay of a barista? 
 

Good shout though. The legal profession would have suited me. I wish I took that road. 

[Strontium]

6 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Always fancied being a barrister ever since watching Crown Court as a kid. However it’s not brilliantly paid and you have to fund yourself through training so it was never an option for me. 

 

Yep, my cousin is a barrister in London and I was astonished at how (relatively) poorly remunerated she is, for what is a seriously tough job. Some of these careers I'm just amazed that people even bother at all. They must be really motivated.

[Elite]

Being a surgeon is the most impressive of jobs as it requires super intelligence, dexterity and balls of steel. None of which I have.

[A Red]

1 minute ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

I think you spend a lot of time on extensions and conservatories. 

Or not if the cunt we've employed is the yardstick 

[Numero Veinticinco]

1 minute ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

 

Yep, my cousin is a barrister in London and I was astonished at how poorly remunerated she is, for what is a seriously tough career. Some of these careers I'm just amazed that people even bother at all. They must be really motivated.

Just had a good. Average is 90k, ranges up to 200K. Looks like it’s low when you’re starting though. 

[Elite]

Isn't @Anubis a barrister?

[Bjornebye]

I wonder how many Baristas have got laid off the back of women mistaking what they do for a barrister.

 

"Last night was great, would you like a single origin bean or are you happy with a standard doppio?" 

 

"errrr...... fuck!" 

[Elite]

Mad to think that our youth team players will likely be on more money than some of these high flying jobs.

[Elite]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

I wonder how many Baristas have got laid off the back of women mistaking what they do for a barrister.

 

"Last night was great, would you like a single origin bean or are you happy with a standard doppio?" 

 

"errrr...... fuck!" 

They are experts with the bean though, must count for something.

[RedKnight]

Archaeologist, I'd much rather sit out in the mud of wessex.

Forest Ranger, driving around in a truck looking at trees and nodding hello to attractive ladies on horses.

Writer, sitting on my arse and writing books or films.

[Dougie Do'ins]

I always wanted to be a locksmith or a horologist (watch & clock repair). As time as gone on I've lost interest in the locksmith one as it's not all the safe cracking and lock picking I thought it would be.

 

The workings of mechanical watches and clocks fascinates me and I'd jump at the chance to get involved in the profession. 

[cloggypop]

Fuck having a job where you are looking at a watch all day. 

[Rico1304]

15 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Yes but I think that’s upper end and probably corporate or tax work. Your day to day criminal brief defending junkie shop lifters in Barnsley crown court is not making even a 1/3rd of that and he’s got to pay for chambers, travel, insurance etc.
 

Still wished I’d done it though. Mind you. half of the posters on here should have gone into a profession where they are paid to argue over trivial things for days at a time. 

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-47372265

[Strontium]

18 minutes ago, Numero said:

Just had a good. Average is 90k, ranges up to 200K. Looks like it’s low when you’re starting though. 

 

She's been doing it for 20 years now, so she's probably better paid these days, but she's in immigration and human rights and the pay in that is definitely at the lower end.

[Rico1304]

24 minutes ago, A Red said:

Your first role play would probably have confirmed your suitability

 

"Hello, Samaritans. Before we start I feel it important to point out, whether you live or die is irrelevant to me"

Tough love.  I don’t think ‘Pull yourself together’ is in the manual.  Although apparently lots of the calls they get are from perverts making shit up and wanking over the sympathy 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Tough love.  I don’t think ‘Pull yourself together’ is in the manual.  Although apparently lots of the calls they get are from perverts making shit up and wanking over the sympathy 

Hahaha fucking hell. 

 

Gonna give that a try. 

[Rico1304]

4 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Hahaha fucking hell. 

 

Gonna give that a try. 

True story

 

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/perverts-calling-samaritans-listen-female-20896344.amp

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

True story

 

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/perverts-calling-samaritans-listen-female-20896344.amp

Fuck me thats grim. I was thinking more along the lines of "I've smashed in a bottle of gin and now I've got a loaded gun pushed up my arse. Do I fuck it or pull the trigger?" not child abuse. Sick bastards 

[Red_or_Dead]

15 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Tough love.  I don’t think ‘Pull yourself together’ is in the manual.  Although apparently lots of the calls they get are from perverts making shit up and wanking over the sympathy 

I know someone who volunteered at the Samaritans so that he could pull vulnerable girls.  Even Rico isn't that bad!

 

 

[sir roger]

Always wanted to get into journalism and had a degree course lined up after I left school , but finances in the family changed and ended up taking a job in banking and never chased it after that.

[ZonkoVille77]

I just wished I wasn't so lazy. I could have been anything I wanted to be if it wasn't for laziness. 

[PestiRed]

I’d like to do something with my hands. Unfortunately my hands are shit. Making complex and beautiful stuff out of wood or iron for people who can pay high-end would be a dream job