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Premier League Round Up (Nov 28-30 2020)

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After we had two points stolen from us at the end of the Brighton game I wasn’t in the best of moods and unsurprisingly had pretty much zero interest in watching any footy for the rest of that weekend. And I didn’t. I’m catching up on it now although I did know most of the results. 

 

In fact, I knew the result of Man City v Burnley before it even kicked off. Ok, that’s not quite true as I thought it was going to be 6-0. It almost was but City had two goals disallowed and had to settle for just the 5-0.

 

That was on right after our game and although I wasn’t watching it, the TV was still on while I was mooching around doing other things. When I saw Burnley’s starting line up with no Nick Pope I knew there was only one outcome here, and that was a massive City win.

 

You see here’s the thing about Burnley. We know they can be difficult to play against for a lot of teams but they’re an absolutely perfect opponent for Man City. If Guardiola was to create the perfect team for his boys to roll over, whatever he came up with would give them more of a test than Burnley.

 

The Clarets have zero pace or skill in the midfield and forward positions and therefore pose no counter attacking threat. And how do you hurt Man City? Counter attacks, of course.

 

The only way Burnley can potentially hurt Man City is with set plays but you aren’t going to win enough of them when you’re being pushed back into your own penalty for most of the game.

 

So Burnley are like a big ol’ slow heavyweight boxer who no longer has a knockout punch. Putting them up against Man City is like when Homer fought for the heavyweight title against Drederick Tatum. They just stand there taking punch after punch after punch and the only hope they have is that eventually Man City might break their fist on their big dumb old head.

 

That never happened, and City won 5-0 against Burnley at the Etihad for the fourth time in a row. Burnley would actually just be better off forfeiting this game and taking a 3-0 loss.

 

ConsciousObedientChafer-size_restricted.gif

 

Elsewhere, Everton’s stuttering title challenge *sniggers* suffered another blow as they lost at home to Leeds. It finished 1-0 but Leeds fucking battered them and could easily have won by three or four. They look good and the early season hype about them seems justified. Leeds I mean, the early season hype about Everton was fucking laughable.

 

Cracking game this by all accounts. I’ve only seen the MOTD highlights but I caught bits of it on the radio and they were raving about how entertaining it was. Loads of chances at both ends (but far more for Leeds) and Everton had two goals ruled out for offside by VAR. Both correct decisions and both would have been given by the linesman anyway.

 

My boy Bamford had one ruled out for offside too before Leeds eventually broke the deadlock when the lively Raphinha fired in from 20 yards. Even after taking the lead they kept throwing men forward looking for a second and they almost got caught on the break. That’s just all the more reason to like this team though. Leeds are fun.

 

 

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'She was less impressed a few days when we went to pick her mate up from the bus stop. Her mate's name is Rihanna, and it was pissing down that day. So you can probably guess the rest. That's right, she gets in the car and I go "Hi Rihanna, it's lashing down out there. Did you not bring an umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh"

 

Rihanna laughed a little awkwardly while Adrianna sat there and fumed. I have no regrets.'

 

 

And nor should you have, it's what any self-respecting dad would do.

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I might be completely off here but I always got the impression Lampard and Terry didn’t really like Mourinho in a similar way Carragher and Gerrard didn’t particularly like Benitez probably because it’s a lot harder to enjoy playing for negative shithouse managers.  The difference between the two situations was that there were plenty of rumours of Carragher and Gerrard not liking him in their playing days and playing a part in getting him out but since they’ve retired they’ve been up his arse. There was never anything like that at Chelsea but you get the feeling since Lampard and Terry retired that neither are or were particularly found of Mourinho and don’t speak to him either.

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13 hours ago, tlw content said:

I was listening to this in the car and when they went over to St Mary’s because Southampton had a free-kick, I said to Adrianna “listen to this now, it’s about to be a goal for Southampton”. And it was. She was like “how did you know???” and I just shrugged and said “I know football, it's my job” and left it at that. Cool. As. Fuck.

The joke is on you, Adrianna obviously doesn't follow her aul fella's output:

Quote

I felt throughout the second half that a set-piece was our best chance of scoring. It’s a long time since we’ve been able to say that, but that’s the Van Dijk effect. I brought my daughter to this game (only her second ever game, the first was Wolves last year!) and I said to her after Everton equalised that Van Dijk would head the winner from a corner. After all the celebrations had died down, she looked at me in wonder and asked “How did you know?”. I just tapped my nose. 

 

Little does she know I make these kind of statements and predictions in every game and they virtually never come off. In fact, usually it's the opposite that happens as I'm a bad jinxing bastard for the most part.

On the other hand, I remember this shit so the joke is on me, fucking loser that I am.

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I wonder what Burnley fans think about getting thrashed constantly by City? I get that they just don't possess the tools to hurt City, even though most teams have now figured out a way to at least give them a game. But Burnley don't appear to even lay a finger on them. 5-0 and not a single Burnley player booked. Previous match - 5-0 and only one booking.  When I was still playing (I can just about remember that!), if someone was running rings around me, I'd at least make sure I gave somebody for a good kick. Doesn't seem as if Burnley can even manage that. (Different story when they play us, though).

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Elsewhere, Everton’s stuttering title challenge *sniggers* suffered another blow.

 

Just a gift that keeps on giving. Taken from GOT.

 

 

Crazy league this season points wise we are practically in a title race still. We only had to produce mediocre form in the last 6 games and we’d be near top of not top. If we can catch a bit of form now get players in jan and we can still achieve.

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8 hours ago, deiseach said:

 

The one she remembers most is last year or two back when I spoke for about 10 minutes about Man City's weakness on the left side of their defence and how Wolves had this player who could really make them suffer because he was so quick and skilful on the counter attack.

 

Later that day Wolves won 2-1 at the Etihad with my boy Adama scoring both. At the time City getting beat was rarer than rocking horse shit so she was well impressed.

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On 03/12/2020 at 21:55, tlw content said:

...following a clash of heads with David Luiz, who also ended up going off with a concussion. A terrible shame as he’s fucking boss. I enjoy watching him but there has to be a real chance that we might not see him play again after this.

You're talking about Jiminez right? It could easily read that you think Luiz is fucking boss. Negged for ambiguity.

 

Oh, wait. You are talking about Luiz. Oh my life. Like your dire Rihanna line it's further evidence of your slow, but relentless decline.

 

Now about this new home we've sorted out for you. They say you'll be very well cared for and I promise I'll come and visit you every other Sunday. 

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5 hours ago, rb14 said:

 

Now about this new home we've sorted out for you. They say you'll be very well cared for and I promise I'll come and visit you every other Sunday. 

Will they have priority for the vaccine?

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On 05/12/2020 at 10:46, rb14 said:

You're talking about Jiminez right? It could easily read that you think Luiz is fucking boss. Negged for ambiguity.

 

Oh, wait. You are talking about Luiz. Oh my life. Like your dire Rihanna line it's further evidence of your slow, but relentless decline.

 

Now about this new home we've sorted out for you. They say you'll be very well cared for and I promise I'll come and visit you every other Sunday. 

 

I was talking about Jiminez, the big handsome bastard. But it also applies to Luiz, I enjoy watching him too as there's always a comedy moment just around the corner.

 

And that Rihanna line was gold. Just because you're too old to get it and had to google who she was.

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