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Shit that happens now that didn't happen when you were a kid


Section_31
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39 minutes ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Every kid has Autism, like every single kid, the chance of a child having Autism is exponentially higher too if the ma wears Alexander Mcqueen Trainers. Jokes aside, It's maybe just more awareness of it I don't know, sad times for some kids.

The treatment has changed too, lots of tablets and therapy these days , a slap in the old days.

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21 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Cars are reliable.

In the late Eighties I had a mate who was into classic cars and used to get all the magazines.  Thinking back, a lot of the cars in the mags were 15-20 years old and the buyers' guides in the mags would be telling you where to expect rust holes or how to rebuild the gearbox.  Any car built between 2000 and 2005 would, it's fair to say, be in better nick than that.

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17 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

New cars, everywhere. I dont think i saw a new car on the road until I was around 8 years old and Panama Jack parked his Suzuki Vitara near my nans.

Yeah, and you don't need to be rich to have a nice one either. Only royals, farmers and gangsters drove land rovers back then, now every 17 year old hairdresser has got one.

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People using the word ‘vile’ to describe something even slightly disagreeable. To be honest it wasn’t used that widely when I was in my mid thirties, it’s very much a last 18 months sort of thing.

Agree on the allergies issue, nobody seemed to have that past hayfever

Asthma was prevalent, you weren’t shit if you didn’t have an inhaler.

Gay kids, there was one in my year that we knew about, he denied it even though nobody cared. Then on his 18th birthday party he had a male stripper, he came out very soon after and everyone was expected to act surprised.

iPad etc. Even 10 years ago or maybe less we laughed at Karl Pilkington talking about how before we know it 7 year olds will be permanently on the internet and won’t have to learn anything because they’ll google it. My lad is 4, he knows how to use the iPad better than me. I’m not laughing now.

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Just now, Colonel Kurtz said:

drinking water. The schools are obesessed with kids bringing in water bottles and teenagers spend a fortune buying £2.50 bottles from Pret. In my day, you drank from a tap or if you were in the garden, the hose. That was that. 

Food banks give out drinking water, its fucking stupid.

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10 hours ago, Geoff Woade said:

People using the word ‘vile’ to describe something even slightly disagreeable. To be honest it wasn’t used that widely when I was in my mid thirties, it’s very much a last 18 months sort of thing.

Agree on the allergies issue, nobody seemed to have that past hayfever

Asthma was prevalent, you weren’t shit if you didn’t have an inhaler.

Gay kids, there was one in my year that we knew about, he denied it even though nobody cared. Then on his 18th birthday party he had a male stripper, he came out very soon after and everyone was expected to act surprised.

iPad etc. Even 10 years ago or maybe less we laughed at Karl Pilkington talking about how before we know it 7 year olds will be permanently on the internet and won’t have to learn anything because they’ll google it. My lad is 4, he knows how to use the iPad better than me. I’m not laughing now.

Was chatting to someone from ITV recently and they said kids don't watch telly. I was flabbergasted, "What do you mean, they don't actually watch the telly?" "No, they watch Youtube and consume short clips of shit. We're trying to create new content accordingly." 

 

Fucking hell. 

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4 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Hedge porn. It's gone from our life. Used to be the teenage equivalent of finding buried treasure. Always better than anything you had at home. I miss it. 

Whilst it is gone, it shouldn’t be missed. The quality and quantity of freely available porn is better than any point in history and is getting better each day. Some dirty cunt’s porn mag in the bush isn’t something to miss. 

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5 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Hedge porn. It's gone from our life. Used to be the teenage equivalent of finding buried treasure. Always better than anything you had at home. I miss it. 

I think porn has probably ruined a generation of sexuality for people. 'Less is more' when it comes to adult material. I still remember the feeling when I found my first mag under my teenage uncle's bed, I didn't know what I was looking at - I just knew I wanted to eat it. 

 

Mary Whitehouse types used to reckon over exposure to porn would turn us all into mindless rapey perverts, if anything it's probably been the opposite. Raised on a staple of perfect bodies doing wonderous stuff, then pulling a bird on a night out and realising that anal sex is like war - it's not like the movies, it's smelly and dirty. 

 

These days, I've seen that much stuff online, a young Pamela Anderson could saunter through my front room wearing only a Stetson and a pair of high heels, and the most I could probably muster is a double thumbs up.

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8 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

This is not the thread but I do worry what this avalanche of accessible porn is going to do to young men and their expectations of women. We have 2 sons about to hit their teens and it is a bit of a worry. Anyway that's one for the parenting thread. 

Judging by the stuff out there, I'll be shagging my lads' girlfriends and their stepmums.

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1 hour ago, Numero said:

Whilst it is gone, it shouldn’t be missed. The quality and quantity of freely available porn is better than any point in history and is getting better each day. Some dirty cunt’s porn mag in the bush isn’t something to miss. 

I think Brian Eno was thinking about hedge porn when he said

 

“Whatever you now find weird, ugly, uncomfortable and nasty about a new medium will surely become its signature. CD distortion, the jitteriness of digital video, the crap sound of 8-bit - all of these will be cherished and emulated as soon as they can be avoided. It’s the sound of failure: so much modern art is the sound of things going out of control, of a medium pushing to its limits and breaking apart. The distorted guitar sound is the sound of something too loud for the medium supposed to carry it. The blues singer with the cracked voice is the sound of an emotional cry too powerful for the throat that releases it. The excitement of grainy film, of bleached-out black and white, is the excitement of witnessing events too momentous for the medium assigned to record them.”

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1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

I think porn has probably ruined a generation of sexuality for people. 'Less is more' when it comes to adult material. I still remember the feeling when I found my first mag under my teenage uncle's bed, I didn't know what I was looking at - I just knew I wanted to eat it. 

 

Mary Whitehouse types used to reckon over exposure to porn would turn us all into mindless rapey perverts, if anything it's probably been the opposite. Raised on a staple of perfect bodies doing wonderous stuff, then pulling a bird on a night out and realising that anal sex is like war - it's not like the movies, it's smelly and dirty. 

 

These days, I've seen that much stuff online, a young Pamela Anderson could saunter through my front room wearing only a Stetson and a pair of high heels, and the most I could probably muster is a double thumbs up.

Conversely, amateur porn - with all the pot bellies, pimply arses and normal-sized cocks that need a bit of coaxing - would have been a great reassurance to me in my yoof.

 

I saw some Scottish comedian a while back saying he prefers amateur porn. "It's good for the self-esteem.  I watch it thinking 'I could do that.'  It's the same reason I watch Scottish football."

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4 hours ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

Conversely, amateur porn - with all the pot bellies, pimply arses and normal-sized cocks that need a bit of coaxing - would have been a great reassurance to me in my yoof.

 

I saw some Scottish comedian a while back saying he prefers amateur porn. "It's good for the self-esteem.  I watch it thinking 'I could do that.'  It's the same reason I watch Scottish football."

Almost no FF on the GF but the joke saved it.

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4 hours ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

Conversely, amateur porn - with all the pot bellies, pimply arses and normal-sized cocks that need a bit of coaxing - would have been a great reassurance to me in my yoof.

 

I saw some Scottish comedian a while back saying he prefers amateur porn. "It's good for the self-esteem.  I watch it thinking 'I could do that.'  It's the same reason I watch Scottish football."

Superb. 

 

The first point though .... the old jazz mags round ours had 'readers wives' with fannies that looked like rain soaked ewoks . Disgusting big bush bastards with all sorts of blood and thunder going on down there. The first time I fingered a girl I was scared it was gonna bite my hand off. I felt like Flash Gordon. 

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